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I don't think I've ever equipped a shield in Elden Ring. If my hands are moving, something sharp is in them. Except for when I put on the penis robe.

Other than perhaps Radahn (TBD), Gaius was the most annoying fight by far, even though it took me longer to take Messmer down. Fuck that asshole and the pig he rode in on. Here's my personal difficulty ranking for a lot of the named bosses (leaving out the invaders/crypt bosses etc because I...

The Acolyte makes Book of Boba Fett look like the Empire Strikes Back.

I hit Radhan over the weekend and made three low-effort attempts at him just to get a feel for the fight. It really does seem turbo shitty and unfun and I haven't yet felt the desire to log back in and give it a serious attempt. This may be the first time I just look up the best cheese build and...

I think everything is effectively wrapped up except for the final area. Finger Mother was more irritating than she should have been. I don't know if I got unlucky or what, but she constantly seemed to fly around blasting the giant super laser, and whenever I got close she'd turn sideways and go...

It's pretty surprising how quickly you can make a direct run to the final area without really trying to, as long as Messmer isn't a huge roadblock, at least. It snuck up on me fast and I haven't had a lot of time to play. I made some progress up the tower (Taker's Flames > those bullshit...

The "terrible" version was nerfed not long after release. Unless for some reason that was reversed later, as long as you aren't severely under-geared/under-leveled the fight's not too bad. As far as ranking this DLC as the "best ever", eh, I don't know. I think Elden Ring is certainly one of...

I nearly one shot Malenia back when I first went through the game. It was way late, I was exhausted and awake for far longer than I intended to be. I hacked my way through the Haligtree stuff, and then there's Malenia as I'm literally nodding off with the controller in my hand. Alright...one...

From what I read he can also drop the shield, which I think is where I got it. Apparently other knights can drop the shield, but not the greathammer. In any case I'm OCD with loot and wouldn't have left anything behind, especially not something off of a higher-tier trash mob.

I wonder if it's unintentional and will be fixed in a patch. Pure RNG cancelling out good loot for an entire playthrough isn't exactly SOP for Elden Ring.

That looks good as well, I'll move the flame knight by the lift to farm status. It's past time for a change from Blasphemous Blade and nothing else has stuck so far, even post-nerf.

Apparently only the knight in the church drops it. He also drops the shield, which evidently is how I got that, which also means I'll never get the weapon this playthrough since he never respawns. Stupid.

Does that actually drop from the mounted knights that are all over the place? I've murdered a ton of them and got a shield once, never a weapon.

If there's truly only one viable build for the final boss, it seems likely he'll get nerfed. And I may just need to get some more blessings levels. I'm "only" 7 at the moment and the instant that fuck Messmer decides it's time for me to die, it's over. Of course, I somehow got him down to 10%...

I was just about to ask if there's a boss more bullshit than Messmer, because if so I may just need to uninstall this nonsense before I have an aneurysm. lol, whelp

I've only met and beaten the golden hippo so far, but when you encounter them there will be no doubt. Anyway, I thought I was about finished with the Shadow Keep several times, only to find some obscure corner I missed and then up and up and repeat. I will not be sad if I never see another one...

He said he's on NG+, so presumably he's reasonably geared and leveled already. It took me about 5 hours from the start of a NG+ run to finish the DLC pre-reqs, and that's with a lot of screwing around and doing other unrelated things.

Just look up Vaare's quest line and follow it to the point where he gives you the teleport item to Mohg's palace. It's not at all bad and goes pretty fast if you simply make a beeline for the relevant locations.

I’ve managed to get in maybe 5 hours so far. It feels like 10 with how dense the new areas are. I’m more or less randomly bumbling around, but managed to take out the Blackgaol Knight (he’s readily knocked down), the lion/human centipede thing, Death Knight, and Rellana. That’s not a fun fight...

Two years of rust is no joke. I forgot what a pain in the ass Mohg's second phase is. Anyway, got him on the third try, then sprinted through Caelid and beat down the good general in like 15 seconds. All set for a few weeks of late nights spent yelling at the TV and struggling my way through...

Having refreshed my memory on the process I should have Mohg dead by tonight. If you are at the start of a new playthrough with an NG+ toon, you can probably be ready to go for the DLC in like 3-4 hours (less if you're actually gud) if that's all you dedicate your time to. It's really not bad...

Thanks for the offer, but I'm on Series X, as this is squarely a "pop my tired ass on the basement couch after the rest of the house is asleep and not bothering me" game.

Slightly preferable to pride month in SF. Will employ lube appropriately.

I was attempting to hack through it by memory (and enjoying myself), but after looking up the two options in full, neither are all that bad. I'll probably just do the longer one and open up more of the map for the fuck of it. Either way a fresh NG isn't really in the cards unless I want to start...

I haven't played this in nearly two years. Logged in to try to break the rust loose in advance of the expansion and found that I had only a NG+ character about an hour into a replay. I've been tearing my way through the shit needed to gain access to Mohg, and even being high level and fully...

I'm indefensibly tolerant of most Star Wars. I can generally pick up on some enjoyable aspect of these dumb shows/movies and ride out the bad (there's been a lot of riding). But this show....is just terrible in nearly all aspects. It's the first live action Star Wars show since the Holiday...

The show didn't have the rights to the "Annatar" character in S1 so they cooked up some strained shit about Sauron explaining alloys to millennia-old Elven smiths who have steel everywhere and then after a 30 second montage, they're sporting their three new rings. I guess they've since grabbed...

I have no idea how many of each are possible, but over a playthrough I had 2 bros approach me for possible dick smashing. I rapidly requested that they keep it in their pants and that was the end of it. Unless I missed an entire section involving a sweaty Top Gun volleyball encampment, that shit...

And it's been annoying for years. Rockstar is especially egregious. GTA 5 console release: September, 2013. PC release: April, 2015. Of course, the games are typically awesome enough to enjoy for two playthroughs, but now that I'm old and have kids, fuck a bunch of double-dipping.

Not if you want it to look anywhere near as good as the trailer. For that you'll need a high-end computer, and probably yet another year or more for it to release on PC. Ugh. Anyway, if this trailer had released 5 years ago (with graphics appropriately scaled back to that time), we'd be on page...

Oof. The show had been coasting off the fumes of its prior brilliance for a while by that point, and I was still half-heartedly hanging in there out of some combination of habit and loyalty, but I explicitly remember watching that episode when it premiered and saying "Whelp, that's it. I'm...

It was all but over when Marsh walked and loaded the bases with two outs, and Thomson let Rojas take the plate. That'll go down as one of the all-time dipshit post-season calls. Wild how the Philly offense jumped on the plane out of Arizona with 18 innings at home in their pocket, and instead...

And not even from birth. He converted.

It's just a variation of an overused TV trope that's long outlived its entertainment value. Nowadays when I see it, it immediately reminds me of GoT when the dead army attacked Winterfell. They showed shot after shot of this terrifying, impossibly energized meat grinder of an army that would...

I tried giving Rebels a chance after the first few episodes of this and while the show itself is actually not too bad and seems watchable from a story / character perspective, I just can't hang in there with the animation piece. I have way too much shit to do and motivating myself to push aside...

At 4K and cranked settings I'd recommend biting the bullet and going for the 4090. To make it less painful, you could save a few bucks on the CPU by getting a 13700K. The 13900K offers basically dick all benefits for gaming. I had the 4080 for a short bit and while it's a beast of a card, I...

I rolled up a new game on the PC despite having virtually zero desire to kick my many hours of Series X progress into the garbage, but fuck it. I didn't lay out a mortgage payment for this stupid 4090 for nothing. After a short run through the introductory stuff, regrets are rapidly fading. The...

I took it as a test for Pullo and his blonde meth-head apprentice. If they returned with Ezra and Sabine's heads, Thrawn will be in a position to trust them and incorporate them into his "dwindling" ranks. If they fail, oh well - they can kill each other or stay stranded there until they rot. Of...

Blew off work for a bit and watched it. Loved the Chimaera introduction along with the creepy semi-decrepit stormtrooper crew. I think Thrawn's uniform was more over-starched and not so much attempting to cover up a gut. It looks like they're maintaining Thrawn as heavily strategic and a...

I haven't seen the episode but Lars Mikkelsen usually looks emaciated. Did they give him a gut intentionally?