Alexander (2004)

  • Guest, it's time once again for the massively important and exciting FoH Asshat Tournament!



    Go here and give us your nominations!
    Who's been the biggest Asshat in the last year? Give us your worst ones!
Araysar

Loser Araysar

Chief Russia Reporter. Stock Pals CEO. Head of AI.
<Gold Donor>
83,445
169,123
0.00 star(s) Rating: 0.00/5 0 Votes
Title: Alexander (2004)

Tagline: The greatest legend of all was real

Genre: War, History, Action, Adventure, Drama, Romance

Director: Oliver Stone

Cast: Colin Farrell, Angelina Jolie, Val Kilmer, Jared Leto, Jonathan Rhys Meyers, Anthony Hopkins, Jessie Kamm, Christopher Plummer, Connor Paolo, Patrick Carroll, Peter Williamson, Morgan Christopher Ferris, Robert Earley, Aleczander Gordon, John Kavanagh, Gary Stretch, Rosario Dawson, Féodor Atkine, Toby Kebbell, Fiona O'Shaughnessy, Laird Macintosh, Francisco Bosch, Neil Jackson, Rory McCann, Raz Degan, Joseph Morgan, David Bedella, Brian Blessed, Nick Dunning, Elliot Cowan, Ian Beattie, Denis Conway, Michael Dixon, Tim Pigott-Smith, Erol Sander, Stéphane Ferrara, Tadhg Murphy, Annelise Hesme, Rab Affleck, Michelle Lukes, Benny Maslov, Bin Bunluerit

Release: 2004-11-21

Runtime: 175

Plot: Alexander, the King of Macedonia, leads his legions against the giant Persian Empire. After defeating the Persians, he leads his army across the then known world, venturing farther than any westerner had ever gone, all the way to India.

 
Araysar

Loser Araysar

Chief Russia Reporter. Stock Pals CEO. Head of AI.
<Gold Donor>
83,445
169,123
This is the gayest biopic I ever seen and I saw that Elton John thing a few years back.

He completely folerized Alexander's entire life. I mean who writes dialogue like this:

Old Ptolemy:
It was said later that Alexander was never defeated in his lifetime, except by Hephaistion's thighs.

or this

Alexander : Who knows these things? When I was a child my mother thought me divine; my father, weak. Which am I, Hephaistion? Weak or divine? All I know is I trust only you in this world. I've missed you. I need you. It is you I love, Hephaistion. No other.
Hephaistion : You still hold you head cocked like that.
Alexander : [laughing] I have to stop that.
Hephaistion : No, like a dear listening in the wind you strike me still, Alexander. You have eyes like no other. I sound as stupid as a school boy, but you're everything I care for. And by the sweet breath of Aphrodite I'm so jealous of losing you to this world you want so badly.
Alexander : You'll never lose me, Hephaistion. I'll be with you always. 'Til the end.

Shameful.


Anyways, this 3.5 hour turd is on Netflix right now
 
Last edited:
  • 2Great Review
Reactions: 1 users
Ome

Ome

Trakanon Raider
790
905
At least this movie unleashed Dawsons big heavies!
 
  • 3Like
Reactions: 2 users
Tholan

Tholan

Blackwing Lair Raider
901
1,714
I just read "alexander" without the year and I immediately thought "ha they're doing a new Alexander movie, hope it's not as gay as the other one".
 
  • 1Solidarity
  • 1Worf
Reactions: 1 users
Animosity

Animosity

Silver Baronet of the Realm
7,406
6,293
I remember the hype around this movie was huge and then it came out and was a giant turd. I cant even remember if I finished it.
 
BrutulTM

BrutulTM

Good, bad, I'm the guy with the gun.
<Silver Donator>
14,951
-1,239
I bought the bluray but was never able to stay awake to the end.
 
BrutulTM

BrutulTM

Good, bad, I'm the guy with the gun.
<Silver Donator>
14,951
-1,239
I think it was the director's cut. Like 3+ hours long.
 
Movie information in first post provided by The Movie Database
You must log in or register to reply here.