Shitty customers

Porkchop · Nov 22, 2016

Let's share/rant about our stupid, annoying, asshole customers.

I'll start. I got this as a reply to a 3 step "Click this, then that" email about a software feature. Specifically, a add-on icon in Outlook is now red, and it used to be yellow.

"Followed the directions and, as I expected, it did nothing. I'm not going to waste my staff's time by having them all try it too. I would like one of you to figure out how to make it work correctly. If, after fixing it on one of our workstations, you would like to explain to me how you fixed the issue, I will be happy to perform the fix on the other workstations. Until you know that you have a solution, please do not waste my time trying this or that if you do not know for sure that it will work. I pay for this service so that I don't have to waste my time experimenting with possible fixes for problems that might or might not work. And yes, I am not happy with your attempt to make me responsible for fixing my own computers."

Kithani · Nov 22, 2016

Thread sucks without explaining whether or not the customer was right. For all I know your 3 step instructions actually did nothing.

Noodleface · Nov 22, 2016

Once at the grocery store I worked at a customer ran up to the entrance and projectile shit diarrhea all over the front of the store. He then ran away laughing maniacally.

Big_w_powah · Nov 22, 2016

Noodleface said:
Once at the grocery store I worked at a customer ran up to the entrance and projectile shit diarrhea all over the front of the store. He then ran away laughing maniacally.

Ultimate Shitpost...

Breakdown · Nov 22, 2016

Porkchop said:
Let's share/rant about our stupid, annoying, asshole customers.

I'll start. I got this as a reply to a 3 step "Click this, then that" email about a software feature. Specifically, a add-on icon in Outlook is now red, and it used to be yellow.

"Followed the directions and, as I expected, it did nothing. I'm not going to waste my staff's time by having them all try it too. I would like one of you to figure out how to make it work correctly. If, after fixing it on one of our workstations, you would like to explain to me how you fixed the issue, I will be happy to perform the fix on the other workstations. Until you know that you have a solution, please do not waste my time trying this or that if you do not know for sure that it will work. I pay for this service so that I don't have to waste my time experimenting with possible fixes for problems that might or might not work. And yes, I am not happy with your attempt to make me responsible for fixing my own computers."

Sounds completely reasonable from a paying customer.

Sound like you are a pussy millennial that didnt test his fix.

"Worked for me in my completely separate environment which might be on different software versions".

Rule one, always verify the fix on 1 client before you tell a customer to roll out a "Fix" to their staff.

This should be in the "im a faggot that sucks at my job" thread.

Breakdown · Nov 22, 2016

"this job would be great if it werent for the customers"

Koushirou · Nov 22, 2016

I used to run our family pack and ship store and holy fuck was it miserable (I was roped into being just family tech support since I had to leave school for a while, which turned into me and me alone running it when my dad got shipped off to Djibouti for a year for his consulting job).

Lady comes in and is shipping some medicine for her father's dog down to Florida (he's a snowbird, so lives in MD most of the time but has a happy house in FL). She ends up picking just standard priority mail with the PO and off it goes.

Few days later I get a call from her and she's pissed. Her father never got the package, and apparently it's getting sent back up to MD for some reason. So I go and verify the address and the address is slightly off in the name of the street (Naples was misspelled). This 99% of the time isn't an issue because once shipping info is sent up it'll get auto corrected and there's no indication on the tracking that the address itself is bad. At this point though, she is fucking screaming at me over the phone about how she trusted me and it's all my fault and I'm responsible now if the dog dies. I apologize and tell her as soon as it comes back up I'll give her a full refund and will priority overnight it with FedEx for free, and got the usual "you fucked it up already, you'll just fuck it up again" spiel. She ranted at me for a good 10 minutes before just hanging up on me.

So this fucking package doesn't make it back up to MD from FL for, I shit you not, an entire month. I talked to our PO, the FL PO, everyone I fucking could and not a single fucking person can tell me why the fuck this thing got sent back or where the fuck it went, because when it finally did come back to MD, it didn't even go back to her house which was listed as the return address. So there really isn't shit I can do this whole time and of course almost every day I'm getting calls and rants from this woman.

Finally, get one last call from her and she's a whole lot calmer this time. It turns out her father had his fucking mail forwarding turned on so once it got down there it got put in a fucking tub to go right the fuck back up to his MD address. And yes, the address on the label was entirely correct. I was pretty fucking pissed.

Breakdown · Nov 22, 2016

Koushirou said:
I used to run our family pack and ship store and holy fuck was it miserable (I was roped into being just family tech support since I had to leave school for a while, which turned into me and me alone running it when my dad got shipped off to Djibouti for a year for his consulting job).

Lady comes in and is shipping some medicine for her father's dog down to Florida (he's a snowbird, so lives in MD most of the time but has a happy house in FL). She ends up picking just standard priority mail with the PO and off it goes.

Few days later I get a call from her and she's pissed. Her father never got the package, and apparently it's getting sent back up to MD for some reason. So I go and verify the address and the address is slightly off in the name of the street (Naples was misspelled). This 99% of the time isn't an issue because once shipping info is sent up it'll get auto corrected and there's no indication on the tracking that the address itself is bad. At this point though, she is fucking screaming at me over the phone about how she trusted me and it's all my fault and I'm responsible now if the dog dies. I apologize and tell her as soon as it comes back up I'll give her a full refund and will priority overnight it with FedEx for free, and got the usual "you fucked it up already, you'll just fuck it up again" spiel. She ranted at me for a good 10 minutes before just hanging up on me.

So this fucking package doesn't make it back up to MD from FL for, I shit you not, an entire month. I talked to our PO, the FL PO, everyone I fucking could and not a single fucking person can tell me why the fuck this thing got sent back or where the fuck it went, because when it finally did come back to MD, it didn't even go back to her house which was listed as the return address. So there really isn't shit I can do this whole time and of course almost every day I'm getting calls and rants from this woman.

Finally, get one last call from her and she's a whole lot calmer this time. It turns out her father had his fucking mail forwarding turned on so once it got down there it got put in a fucking tub to go right the fuck back up to his MD address. And yes, the address on the label was entirely correct. I was pretty fucking pissed.

Up until the final paragraph I was on her side. How did you verify a wrong address if it was actually right on the package?

Koushirou · Nov 22, 2016

Checked the address listed for the package in our POS software. That info then gets sent up to APIs for either Endicia (USPS), UPS, or FedEx. So the street name was misspelled on our end but endicia's API had corrected it.

Big_w_powah · Nov 22, 2016

Gunnar said:
Sounds completely reasonable from a paying customer.

Sound like you are a pussy millennial that didnt test his fix.

"Worked for me in my completely separate environment which might be on different software versions".

Rule one, always verify the fix on 1 client before you tell a customer to roll out a "Fix" to their staff.

This should be in the "im a faggot that sucks at my job" thread.

See, I was triggered a little more than you by his post I think.

I do a lot of work with county government that uses our software..A lot of them use a common MSP. I spent the latter half of Friday working a quick project for a client--Should've taken an hour--Until I noticed a bunch of lazy ass shit like this, that said MSP did.

Charged them for, and installed, redundant UPS systems with PDUs, a very nice KVM switch, and some other hardware...Never hooked up the KVM, all servers went into one PDU, which plugged into one UPS. These servers have redundant PSUs...

Then I decided to go over some network/AD shit..And holy shit was that a mess. No ACL for anything in the firewall. Just blind port forwards. No password policies. Admin password was, and I feel pretty secure typing this since I changed it; "password"....I'm just scratching the surface here. This shit made my fuckin head hurt on so many levels.

In slacks and a nice button up, I redid their server rack setup to utilize the equipment they had, fixed all their network/domain shit, and didnt charge any extra...It was just horribly lazy shit.

Koushirou · Nov 22, 2016

And just to be clear, I totally understand being pissed about missing packages and I damn well would do everything I can to fix things, even if it wasn't even us at fault (there generally isn't shit we can do if USPS fucks something up but when they do, the customers naturally come back to us to bitch since we sent them out). My biggest gripe was the crazy amount of personal attacks I received regularly from this lady, the cursing and calling me a bitch, the shouting at me in person sometimes in my store with other customers around, etc.

Breakdown · Nov 22, 2016

Seriously, Original Post is shit.

"OP: here this is the fix"

"Customer: It didnt work"

"OP: *CRIES*"

Breakdown · Nov 22, 2016

Koushirou said:
And just to be clear, I totally understand being pissed about missing packages and I damn well would do everything I can to fix things, even if it wasn't even us at fault (there generally isn't shit we can do if USPS fucks something up but when they do, the customers naturally come back to us to bitch since we sent them out). My biggest gripe was the crazy amount of personal attacks I received regularly from this lady, the cursing and calling me a bitch, the shouting at me in person sometimes in my store with other customers around, etc.

thanks for sharing the info on address too. Im with ya. in that case I sympathize with the customer and had it actually been your fault, then i get it. She shouldnt get personal but I can understand the mindset of "I paid for a service and I didnt get it, you suck".

Sucks to have to just take her shit and eat it, but thats the cost of doing business. Glad you were vindicated in the end.

I will let any client shit all over me if im at fault. I will draw a line if they blame me for anything out of the scope, but if I make a mistake they can hold me down and shit in my mouth all day and I will gladly take it and not get annoyed. Part of providing a service is being there to be a target for their venting.

Evernothing · Nov 22, 2016

Big_w_powah · Nov 22, 2016

Gunnar said:
Seriously, Original Post is shit.

"OP: here this is the fix"

"Customer: It didnt work"

"OP: *CRIES*"

He's probably some fresh outta college tech..Thinking he knows the world man.

Give him a break. He'll learn or get chastised.

Breakdown · Nov 22, 2016

Big_w_powah said:
He's probably some fresh outta college tech..Thinking he knows the world man.

Give him a break. He'll learn or get chastised.

It should make me happy. Im 32 and will never have a threat of younger guns taking my job because of a generation of these guys.

Still triggers me. too many kids I hire end up like this. Would rather spend 5 hours of back and forth so they dont have to leave reddit, rather than 5 to handle it themselves.

Namon · Nov 22, 2016

My favorite one was when I was putting my time in call center hell as a Dell Pro Support Tech. A dude had a custom DOS application they had written for their printing. My guess was it was some kind of specialized printer that mass printed bills or something. Anyway, he literally called me every name in the book when I pulled the out of scope card on trying to trouble shoot it. Hardware was fine, it could access the net, and do all other functions, so really my job as a hardware guy was done, and yet, I was a piece of shit because I couldn't be better at troubleshooting an application any better than the author. I still wake up in cold sweats after dreaming that I'm back in that shit hole.

And no offense OP, but there is nothing on this planet that pisses me off more than when a support guy says, it works fine on my stuff. Well congratufuckinglations, now get it to work on my shit you asshole. That shit happens all the time to me in my current job (School network admin), and that's a one way ticket to cancel-town for me.

Big_w_powah · Nov 22, 2016

Gunnar said:
It should make me happy. Im 32 and will never have a threat of younger guns taking my job because of a generation of these guys.

Still triggers me. too many kids I hire end up like this. Would rather spend 5 hours of back and forth so they dont have to leave reddit, rather than 5 to handle it themselves.

Sitting here at 28, feelin your feels bro.

My former company, a month ago, asked me to screen some graduates from a trade school to bring IT back in house---I took a vacay day, sat down at the trade school with their "best and brightest" and it hurt my fucking head how many didnt know the basics of DHCP or DNS, much less the path to troubleshoot basic shit. I asked one kid what he does if someone calls him asking about not being able to connect to a VPN...Does he say "ask for an error code?" Does he say "see if they have internet connectivty"..Does he say "check if I can VPN to the same server"?...Nope..Fuck no..He starts going on a long ass spiel about batch scripts and shit..I tuned out after 3 minutes...Told him to troll somewhere else. ..I finally found one I liked, and asked him how much he was looking for...65k...In Dallas...As a first IT gig...That is a work from home position.

Koushirou · Nov 22, 2016

Yeah, I took quite a lot of abuse in that year. I'm a pretty thin-skinned person, I had just gotten suspended from school due to my grades (yay, depression), I had never wanted to be a part of this business period and then ended up getting saddled with the entire thing 2 months after we opened. It was probably the most miserable year I've had to date. Couple that with being young and female in Appalachia-land and constantly having people who didn't believe me when I told them I was the one running the place and 50 million jokes about whether or not I could use the copier and to make sure not to break a nail doing it (I barely have nails at all). It fucking sucked. Had multiple people tell me I'm going straight to hell after they asked me what church I go to and I replied that I don't attend. Had a whole whopping lot of lectures from old guys who asked if I had kids and how I better get on it because that's more important than having a job.

Anyway, I'm a software dev and had no goddamn clue how to run a business or anything. Pretty much just tried to make it a goal to make every customer leave happy or at least satisfied, which is probably an impossible task, but in a small town having that good word is invaluable. The good news is the business survived my running it and we have three locations now instead of me tanking it in a year.

Breakdown · Nov 22, 2016

Porkchop said:
Let's share/rant about our stupid, annoying, asshole customers.

I'll start. I got this as a reply to a 3 step "Click this, then that" email about a software feature. Specifically, a add-on icon in Outlook is now red, and it used to be yellow.

"Followed the directions and, as I expected, it did nothing. I'm not going to waste my staff's time by having them all try it too. I would like one of you to figure out how to make it work correctly. If, after fixing it on one of our workstations, you would like to explain to me how you fixed the issue, I will be happy to perform the fix on the other workstations. Until you know that you have a solution, please do not waste my time trying this or that if you do not know for sure that it will work. I pay for this service so that I don't have to waste my time experimenting with possible fixes for problems that might or might not work. And yes, I am not happy with your attempt to make me responsible for fixing my own computers."

Shitty customers

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