So, I'm dying...

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Gravy

Bronze Squire
4,918
454
So, Monday morning I'm getting ready to go back to the hospital to get cardioverted again, and en route, I have a massive heart attack.

I got to the ER, and they take me to the cath lab right away to get any blockages open. Only there weren't any blockages. My atrium have suffered so much damage, they are no longer wanting to work. My ejection fraction was at 8%, which is not very good at all, and the cardiologist went out to tell my wife that I probably wouldn't make it off the table. I could feel myself dying as I lay there, which is a surreal experience. They ended up cardioverting me anyway, and placed a balloon pump in my aorta. Super shitty day, but I made it through the night.

Next day, I find out I'm going to be on the balloon pump, which is basically making my heart pump for another day, and then they'll wean me off and see what happens. Half the staff think I'm a dead man, the other half are saying I've got a couple weeks.

Wednesday, they start to wean me off the pump, and I do fairly well with it, but I'm being heavily supplemented with drugs and oxygen. I'm being told that hospice has been notified, and that I need to get signed up for it ASAP. I actually come hope Wednesday evening and sleep until Thursday evening.

I'm on oxygen here at home, and I haven't signed up for hospice yet, but it will probably happening Monday.

tl;dr I'm dying and it sucks.

Happy to answer any questions or comments when I feel up to being on the computer. I'm also got a morale issue I need to address, and I'd like some feedback, but hopefully I have time to bring that up a bit later.

Uncle Gravy
 
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Reactions: 3 users

Palum

what Suineg set it to
23,152
32,724
That sucks Gravy, I guess I'm at a loss as I haven't had anyone I know face heart issues really so I'm kind of ignorant. There's no treatment or solution at this point, just waiting it out until your heart fails?
 

iannis

Musty Nester
31,351
17,656
Yeah.

What do you say when there's nothing to be said. What do you do when there's nothing to be done.


We'll miss ya Gravy. Random fuckheads on the internet liked ya. You had a good wife, you have good children. Hopefully there won't be much terror in it.

You have some foreknowledge and that's a mixed blessing. You can get your affairs in order and make your peace with those close to you. That's something a lot don't get, and you've been given at least that much. And plus you know that one time the Dali Lama told you ""Oh, uh, there won't be any money, but when you die, on your deathbed, you will receive total consiousness." So you got that goin' for you, which is nice.
 

Tarrant

<Prior Amod>
15,516
8,969
If it matters at all to you, my prayers and thoughts are with you and your family. I hope you can find whatever peace you can and that you end up coming through this okay.

Signed,
Random Internet Fuckhead and Terrible Mod that likes you
 

Harfle

Lord Nagafen Raider
1,055
69
Is your moral issue that you laid with a ladyboy?


My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.
 

Chysamere

<WoW Guild Officer>
3,309
2,929
Do as much as you can with the time you have left, leave with as few regrets as possible. When it's your time it's your time. We're all going to be in your position someday.

To quote Harry Potter, for the well-organized mind, death is but the next great adventure. Or maybe it's nothingness. Either way, once it comes, you won't mind so much anymore.

Consider me one of the random fuckheads on the internet that liked you.
 

Kovaks

Mr. Poopybutthole
2,354
3,142
This is the internet can't we find him a black market heart to transplant?

We didn't interact much but Im a random internet fuckwad who enjoyed your posts. I hope you have good quality time with those you love and are not in pain.
 

Alex

Still a Music Elitist
14,465
7,381
I don't like this thread.
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moonarchia

The Scientific Shitlord
20,899
37,877
First I learned you are white, now I learn you are dying. Hope you had a good run of things and don't have many lingering regrets. Your protons, neutrons, and electrons will be repurposed like everyone else's, and the electromagnetic waves you radiated will be part of the cosmos forever.
 

Kedwyn

Silver Squire
3,915
80
I'll get in line and tell you I'm sorry man. Figured it was coming with the issues you had and it certainly is terrible to be taken early like you are. I was worried about you checking in not that long ago in the health thread and hope you'll continue to check in here and let someone you know to do so on your behalf if possible. Perhaps PM someone with some RL info so we can at least get a newspaper notice should you ultimately pass.

I hope you can beat the odds, get better and all that regardless of what the doctors say. There are a good number of people that beat the odds. I truly hope you will be one of them.

I don't know if it's a blessing or a curse to know ahead of time what might come. On one hand you get to have your affairs in order and on the other hand you get to lay there and wait. If it were me I think I'd be spending as much time as I could with my family and friends. Hoping for more as I cross over. Getting in touch with my loved ones and my spiritual side and I prepare myself. Obviously YMMV and so would mine as I'm not in that situation but that is what I'd think I would do.

Regardless of all that, thank you for your contribution to this community. I'm sure there are those that call you friend here and while I don't know you aside from just another name near your posts, a voice in TS or a shout on our shout box I will pray for you and your family while hoping you somehow beat the odds.
 

Neki

Molten Core Raider
2,726
396
Can I have your stuff?













Light attempt at humour at a shitty situation
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I'm sorry Gravy, I'm truly am. We may take the piss and flame each one another on this forum but we are at the end, a tight community. I do not wish harm on anyone who posts on here (yep, even Tanoomba).

I really hope you'll pull through. If there is anything we can do to help, please say so.

This sucks so bad
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frown.png
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Haast

Lord Nagafen Raider
3,281
1,636
Wake up, log in to Rerolled for a quick laugh, and instead find out Gravy-bro is in dire straits. Fuck, now I'm a sad panda.

I hope you beat the odds, my friend.
 

Kuriin

Just a Nurse
4,046
1,020
Holy fuck. An EF of 8%. I am really sorry to hear about this, Gravy.
frown.png
If you haven't, (and I don't mean this to be insensitive), please get your affairs in order if you haven't. Is your support system going to assist you in the transition to hospice? Are you going to be at a care center or are you doing it at home?
 

Oldbased

> Than U
27,542
64,632
I am sorry to hear Gravy. Feel free to PM me if you wish, my situation has changed as well over the past few months and I got a feeling we may share some of the same questions.
Stay strong and fight as long as you are able.
 

Gavinmad

Mr. Poopybutthole
42,271
50,241
I'm really sad.


that someone made the 'can I have your stuff' joke before I saw the thread.