Star Wars: The Last Jedi (2017)

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Royal

Connoisseur of Exotic Pictures
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So when did LIam Neesons knock up Padme? Was it on the ship with baby Anakin sleeping on the floor?

Didn't happen. He was too busy slipping Shmi Skywalker some of his midichlorians while Anakin was tinkering with his pod racer.
 
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ohkcrlho

Silver Baronet of the Realm
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Didn't happen. He was too busy slipping Shmi Skywalker some of his midichlorians while Anakin was tinkering with his pod racer.
Oh god....just by reading that shit, it gave nightmares.
 
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Kreugen

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Didn't happen. He was too busy slipping Shmi Skywalker some of his midichlorians while Anakin was tinkering with his pod racer.

Now we know what this was all about:

original.gif


Neesons + Shmi -> Twins, daughter & Snoke
Daughter Jinn + Obi Wan -> Mara Jade
Mara Jade + Snoke incest = Rey

Fits like a glove.
 
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spronk

FPS noob
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http://io9.gizmodo.com/the-new-star-wars-aftermath-novel-reveals-the-pitiful-1792481018

the debate can finally be laid to rest. We’re about to finally know what happened to Jar Jar Binks after Revenge of the Sith, and what he’s been doing since Return of the Jedi.

The answers will be revealed in Star Wars Aftermath: Empire’s End, the third part of Chuck Wendig’s canon trilogy or novels about what happened in the Star Wars galaxy after Return of the Jedi, due out next week. The previous two books have revealed a lot of things about what major characters were up to prior to The Force Awakens, but nothing prepared us for this.

If you haven’t read the books (they’re good), in addition to the main story, Wendig does “Interlude” chapters to show what’s happening in other corners of the galaxy after the fall of Darth Vader and the Empire. On page 92 of Empire’s End there’s an interlude called “Theed, Naboo” referring to the capital of the lush planet where Jar Jar had his first adventures with Obi-Wan Kenobi and Qui-Gon Jinn.
 
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Shonuff

Mr. Poopybutthole
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Mark Hamil will be at the Dallas Fan Expo next month. If he's doing family shots, we are going. I feel honor bound as a nerd to do so.
 
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Fadaar

That guy
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Nah Obi-Wan railed a Mandalorian chick. They don't even try to hide it in TCW.
 
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Masakari

Pattern Recognition Expert
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Does anyone think Luke got rid of Rey (former padawan?)on Jakku so that Kylo and his band of hobos couldn't find her and hurt her?
 
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Miguex

The lad himself
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I believe something along those lines, yes. More specifically, I'm of the opinion that she was well into training with Luke already had started showing some serious ability when shit started hitting the fan. I actually think it could have been Kylo that left her there.
 
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Khalan

Trakanon Raider
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Yeah, there is precedent for memory wiping using the force from legends and I think even an episode of TCW.

Anyone going to star wars celebration this year? I am flying down solo from Canada need to find a few people so I'm not wandering like a complete loser
 
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Fadaar

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Basically the same thing Luke himself went through. Dropped off on a shitty desert world for their own safety to prevent being hunted down.
 
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Kreugen

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The super sekret is why Kylo spared her to begin with, while killing one of his own guys in the process. And seeming to be so sure that a mention of a random girl on Jakku was HER that he threw a bitch fit.

They could also do some mic drop shit like reveal that a Jedi ghost has been guiding her from the moment she "awakened." Cheesy? Yes. Awesome? Definitely. The movie used Obi-Wan's voice already, sure, but now she has Qui-Gon hair.

Any tidbit to play down the mary sue "instant jedi tookit" stuff.

On a rewatch, her owning Kylo during the mind-rape is still awesome. And lol at yanking grandpa's child murder saber right past his nose.
 
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Kreugen

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^ oh and I can't even make up bullshit that covers how she could pilot the Falcon better than Lando and Han and the Skywalkers all put together. Bitch was doing prop-plane air show tricks with a two-pilot space freighter.

Maybe she played a lot of video games. SHE IS THE LAST STARFIGHTER
 
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spronk

FPS noob
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damn she is cute as fuck isn't she, great genes

Is GOTG team in the next avengers movie?
 
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Pikifou

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Basically the same thing Luke himself went through. Dropped off on a shitty desert world for their own safety to prevent being hunted down.
But Luke with his family, Rey was left to a troll who don't give a shit about her. It seems to be a dick move from her parents.
Or Unkar Plutt is from Rey family...
 

Royal

Connoisseur of Exotic Pictures
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Hahaha that was great!
"I can answer that, I'm in the Avengers."

My favorite part was JJ at the end. The one person most responsible for Luke saying fuck all in TFA sitting on the edge of his seat like a baited breathed fanboy wanting to know if Luke was finally going to get some dialog. It immediately reminded me of George Lucas years ago posing for pictures at fan events wearing that "Han Shot First" t-shirt. I doubt Josh Gad was trying to go that meta but thats what came to mind.

What would have been even better was if they could have gotten Hamill in there to ask her if he was her father.
 
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