Big Picasso's thread or BPT for short.

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Eomer

Trakanon Raider
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Ah, construction workers and poop/pee. Good times. We've actually had drywallers (because they are the scum of the earth) shit in bathtubs and showers that are installed right after framing, but before they've been hooked up to drainage. Fucking animals.

Pro tip: never, ever fucking touch a sealed pop/juice bottle you come across on a job site. God only knows what might be in it.
 

Erronius

<WoW Guild Officer>
<Gold Donor>
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Yeah, we had that issue as well. At times they'd shit in the tubs, then clean all of their drywall mud into the tub on top of it. It would end up being this nasty pile of drywall mud and seam tape with a chocolate surprise underneath.

Pro tip: never, ever fucking touch a sealed pop/juice bottle you come across on a job site. God only knows what might be in it.
Also, 5 gallon paint buckets. They're handy to use around the house and a surprising number of people snag them, but if we ever saw any in the basement the odds were good that someone took a bucket down there to shit in and left it. Watching people taking the lids off hoping to find one without shit in it was a riot, LOL.

Also on occasion roofers would have to piss, and I don't know why but instead of pissing off the gable side or climbing down, they'd piss down the plumbing vent. The bad part though was that a lot of the time they were just stub-ups so that they could do the roofing, meaning that you'd have piss splattering into the house below out of a 2'-3'ft piece of PVC. Saw one of the plumbers actua'ly have pee hit him from this so he went outside and kicked all of their ladders down.
 

Erronius

<WoW Guild Officer>
<Gold Donor>
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There's a reason so many people from Buffalo leave for Florida, I guess.
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Soygen

The Dirty Dozen For the Price of One
<Nazi Janitors>
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Yeah, you know you're leaving a shitty town when the Miami Dolphins are an upgrade.
 

Adebisi

Clump of Cells
<Silver Donator>
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I caught pneumonia, bros. Mrs Adebisi is out of town for a few days for work.

I need hugz
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Big Phoenix

Pronouns: zie/zhem/zer
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When I wired houses in Buffalo, the plumbers would turn the water on, check everything and then disconnect the water again when they left after they finished installing all of their plumbing fixtures in a house. This would leave one flush worth of water in the toilets IIRC. What would end up happening is that workers on other nearby houses would need to take a dump and back then builders weren't required to have port-o-jons. So guys would sneak into one of the finished houses and take dumps in the shitters, and they didn't care if there wasn't any water to flush and would just leave shit in a dry bowl. Sometimes you'd even see where multiple people would all shit in a bowl and it would be like a layer cake of feces.

This started to become a regular issue with one builder, and they started getting pissed. Their realtor would bring people to a house for a tour of finished homes and the houses would smell like rotting shit and the toilet bowls would be caked with drying crap. And the poor "jack of all trades" guy they had was the one who kept having to clean this shit up w/o being able to flush as he didn't have a jumper for where the water meter would later go. It was more him taking a bucket and wearing rubber gloves...

That guy started wrapping the toilet bowls with industrial pallet wrap, which is kind of like saran wrap, so that people wouldn't be able to keep crapping in them.

One day we're working on a house not far away and he walks up to us looking furious. Someone apparently had been going into these homes and either cutting a slit in the plastic to shit through or cutting the plastic off completely, and he wanted to know if that had been us. After we told him no we watched him storm off as he went to go figure out who was doing it. He had apparently been keeping track of the days it had happened on and he said he thought he knew who had been doing it. So he walked around talking to more people and we didn't hear anything for an hour or so.

That afternoon we hear what sounded like a fight in the street so we dropped our tools and went outside. It turns out that he had figured out that the fireplace installer had been doing it and when he confronted the guy, the fireplace installer essentially said "fuck off". So the "jack of all trades" guy left for a bit and a later, whenhehad to take a shit, he went to the guys work van, climbed in and took a massive shit on the driver's seat. I think the fistfight took place after the fireplace installer came out and saw someone had shit in his van and the other guy told him that he'd earned it. After the fight was broken up both employers got together - I don't think the fireplace guy was fired, but he had to clean off his seat the best he could and then drive his van home, LOL.
Reminds me of the last night of bootcamp when we had to use the squad bay below us to take shits since we had to have our own in pristine condition to turn it over. I went down there to take a dump and one of the toliets looked like sasquatch had taken a shit in it. It was like this seething pile of foamy shit that had boiled up and solidified because no one flushed it.