Dealing with addiction

I've only talked to her a limited time. From the sounds of it she starts drinking about 4pm before her husband gets in at 5 and once he's in bed she's done. She's not out socially drinking from the sounds of it. I really have no idea however. She mentioned several times she never leaves the property anymore. I think she has a plan to get away and has the ability to make a living with a professional degree.

I'll ask her when I talk to her. No idea if they drink together. I do know she is out on the property working and dealing with animals most of the day. She works out each day and then a partial amount of the day she normally lays out in the sun. First comment I made to her about possible depression was get outside, get some sun and some exercise. From her pic she works out a ton. I know nothing about either one but my first guess is with all the other stuff she has got into as of late the working out, the working on the property I thought drinking might have had been the last straw. I do know she no longer runs around town and does other social things for the most part. She only leaves the home every so often. Also reasons I won't post here came up and she's on the way out due to them. Not only is drinking and depression not my cup of tea listening in general is as well. It's been new. I mentioned it before I think and I asked "why me" and she had a pretty good answer. Because the business is family oriented and she once worked in it all the people she will might talk to about something would be someone you really don't want to talk to as it would spread like wildfire she said and I could see it. Also she mentioned if the other thing that was the last straw if it got out it would be too much. I could easily see that one. Friends choosing sides her/her husband their business interest I could see it getting ugly. I know none of her friends and she lives almost 1,000 miles away.

I mentioned it to my wife and she didn't know much on drinking either.

If she's getting drunk every night of the week she is either addicted or using it as a coping mechanism for something. She should know which it is at this point.

Thanks for all the suggestions. I'm going to file them away for possible future use, for her or anyone else. I no longer need it for her. It's obvious she's is doing it to avoid the husband. She has a multitude of issues and drinking too much is like #5 on the list. It's a shitshow.

We talked again. She had asked me for help. I mentioned multiple times she needed a woman to talk to for at least some of the stuff. I got selected because she knew me "fairly" well and I am not in her circle of friends where she lives now or her friends near where we're from.

She was not prepared to talk to someone that actually listened and she crossed a line. She shut down. I had mentioned a number of times I was fine with listening but there were a number of lines I would not cross. I was fine with putting it in the file of it was late, she was tired, she had been drinking. I sent that to her so I guess we'll see.

I tried to get her to talk to my wife and my wife was OK with doing it. But she wanted to talk to someone she knew.

Thanks everyone. Life sucks, but nothing I can do about this one.

I talked to her again at my wifes insistence. I hope she gets help. I learned I'm not cut out for listening to smoeones problems, well actually not cut out for listening to her problems.

I felt really bad for her and talked to a few of our mutual friends without really dropping any info and they said she was acting odd for her. I did some digging in her location. They had a AA deal for the lock in and she agreed to try it. She said she got paired up with someone and at least could talk about it. So that's a start. I didn't know what else to do. This is like problem 1 out of 100 for her right now. She mentioned the depression and I said you will have to go to a professional or something to start but if you get the drinking under control it may help, I don't know. She was free to talk to me, but as I said I have less than zero experience in it so maybe who they paired her with will be a help.

Borzak said:

I felt really bad for her and talked to a few of our mutual friends without really dropping any info and they said she was acting odd for her. I did some digging in her location. They had a AA deal for the lock in and she agreed to try it. She said she got paired up with someone and at least could talk about it. So that's a start. I didn't know what else to do. This is like problem 1 out of 100 for her right now. She mentioned the depression and I said you will have to go to a professional or something to start but if you get the drinking under control it may help, I don't know. She was free to talk to me, but as I said I have less than zero experience in it so maybe who they paired her with will be a help.

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This is why you limit your problems to 99.