I had something to talk about and I couldn't find where to put it. There were unrelated but kinda similar comments in politics about taking care of elderly parents.
My father died in 2021. He came down with pneumonia after spending 1.5 months at sea fishing for tuna on his boat. At age 70. The man was a commercial fisherman until almost the very end. some 43 years of fishing from Alaska all down the West Coast. Due to the rona going on they pumped him full of remdesivir and intubated him over pneumonia and it killed him. Makes me more salty as we learn more. He never even had the Rona confirmed by documentation. He drove himself to the doc and everything. But never walked out. This is in rural Oregon.
Now onto the point I really mean here. My mom was married to my father for 38 years. I have 3 sisters. She keeps active and works at a golf course several days a week to keep busy. As my mom and my father were only children my mom was caught holding the bag in a good way in that she, and only she, inherited 2 generations of significant assets from 2 different families.
I want to make really really clear here that I do not give a shit about the money or inheritence. I would rather kill myself than fight with my siblings over it. I do not need the money and I do not want to tell her what to do. All told the estate is now solidly into 8 figures. My mom never lived rich and honestly doesn't no what to do with it. She remodeled her now house (my grandparents original house) as she hated it back in the 70s when she first witnessed it. Totally fine.
The wrinkle here is that she found a new boyfriend she met at the church she goes to. Which is also fine, I want her to be happy. I have not yet met the dude and he literally lives across the street from my sister. My sisters don't like him at all which immediately hits red flags. Of the three of them one of them is a very good judge of character. Dude is a similar age to my mom and has no grandkids. Just one son a little older than me who is unemployed and lives with him. Which hits my red flags.
What I do not want to happen here is that my Mom gets a bug up her ass about this new relationship and marries and then I have to deal with all of that asset shit when she eventually passes away and God forbid if she does before him and he ends up with all of it. It would absolutely break my heart if the one place that means the most to me in the whole world (my grandparents house built in the 70s) and I couldn't go there whenever I wanted as nobody who shares my blood owns it. All because of a legal oversight and my mom getting caught up in it. Which is completely in character for her.
I really have no idea how to bring this up and I don't even know what to say or how to do it. I am going to talk to my sisters about it soon and maybe I am being a doomer or some shit. But I know my Mom. This is like a 50%+ chance already. The woman was only ever married to one man and only dated like 3 dudes before that ever in her life. She sets her sights and just commits to it full on.
And to comment on the other threads I am fully prepared to be there and support my MIL and Mom as much as I need. While I am not the closets geographically I am recognized as the sharpest with money and most pragmatic among my immediate family so my Mom does ask me about such topics a lot. Fuck people who toss their parents in nursing homes for convenience.
My father died in 2021. He came down with pneumonia after spending 1.5 months at sea fishing for tuna on his boat. At age 70. The man was a commercial fisherman until almost the very end. some 43 years of fishing from Alaska all down the West Coast. Due to the rona going on they pumped him full of remdesivir and intubated him over pneumonia and it killed him. Makes me more salty as we learn more. He never even had the Rona confirmed by documentation. He drove himself to the doc and everything. But never walked out. This is in rural Oregon.
Now onto the point I really mean here. My mom was married to my father for 38 years. I have 3 sisters. She keeps active and works at a golf course several days a week to keep busy. As my mom and my father were only children my mom was caught holding the bag in a good way in that she, and only she, inherited 2 generations of significant assets from 2 different families.
I want to make really really clear here that I do not give a shit about the money or inheritence. I would rather kill myself than fight with my siblings over it. I do not need the money and I do not want to tell her what to do. All told the estate is now solidly into 8 figures. My mom never lived rich and honestly doesn't no what to do with it. She remodeled her now house (my grandparents original house) as she hated it back in the 70s when she first witnessed it. Totally fine.
The wrinkle here is that she found a new boyfriend she met at the church she goes to. Which is also fine, I want her to be happy. I have not yet met the dude and he literally lives across the street from my sister. My sisters don't like him at all which immediately hits red flags. Of the three of them one of them is a very good judge of character. Dude is a similar age to my mom and has no grandkids. Just one son a little older than me who is unemployed and lives with him. Which hits my red flags.
What I do not want to happen here is that my Mom gets a bug up her ass about this new relationship and marries and then I have to deal with all of that asset shit when she eventually passes away and God forbid if she does before him and he ends up with all of it. It would absolutely break my heart if the one place that means the most to me in the whole world (my grandparents house built in the 70s) and I couldn't go there whenever I wanted as nobody who shares my blood owns it. All because of a legal oversight and my mom getting caught up in it. Which is completely in character for her.
I really have no idea how to bring this up and I don't even know what to say or how to do it. I am going to talk to my sisters about it soon and maybe I am being a doomer or some shit. But I know my Mom. This is like a 50%+ chance already. The woman was only ever married to one man and only dated like 3 dudes before that ever in her life. She sets her sights and just commits to it full on.
And to comment on the other threads I am fully prepared to be there and support my MIL and Mom as much as I need. While I am not the closets geographically I am recognized as the sharpest with money and most pragmatic among my immediate family so my Mom does ask me about such topics a lot. Fuck people who toss their parents in nursing homes for convenience.
Last edited:
- 5
- 1