FOH Shower Thoughts

pharmakos said:

You know how some people always sneeze twice? And if there are enough people in the room, more people chime in with "bless you" on the second sneeze?

Well, what if the second sneeze actually came about as a result of evolution? Receiving more blessings means you are more likely to live on and pass on your DNA than people who only receive a single sneeze's worth of blessings.

It's the intersection between evolution and religion! The existence of the second sneeze proves the existence of the divine! I'll accept my Nobel Prize now please thanks.

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That might be the first FOH shower thought that actually made me worf IRL. But no, probably not. I try to wait till people are done before blessing them. Whether it's 1 sneeze or 15. Actually no, at 15 sneezes the blessing would be more like "Jesus fuck what the fuck is wrong with you? Get out of here with that shit! Go die somewhere else."

This barely counts as a shower thought, but I don't see a thread for random memories. The memes about Justin Trudeau sucking dick with his butthole reminded me of a time I was getting a massage years ago.

Asian lady. It was a nice massage, and towards the end she started saying "You rike?" Now, my rule is pretty much anytime an asian lady asks if I like, I say yes because 99% of the time, I will like and it's not worth the trouble to figure out what they're talking about. As long as I'm not at a restaurant. They eat some nasty shit. So she's all "You rike, you rike?" And I'm going "yeah sure" So she says "Ok you pay me won hunna dolla". That gives me pause. I mean, I may rike, but will I rike it $100 worth?

I don't understand what she's selling so I offer $20. She says "twenny dolla jerk you off wit han. forry dollar jerk you off wit mou" I can't remember the actual words she was using but she was makin the jerkoff motion and pointing so it was clear enough. "sixxy dolla jerk you off wit poosay. one hunna dolla jerk you off wit butt." Then i was thinking, Oh shit, OK. I mean I wasn't planning to pay $100 to fuck a phillipino in the ass today, but she's going to jerk me off with her ass, that's totally different! What a bargain! Anyway, turns out she was bluffing about the pussy because she didn't have one, so I got the butthole jerkoff for $80.

pharmakos said:

I mean, yeah that's what you do, but it's not what everyone does. When I had the thought, I was at physical therapy with about 8 people in the room between therapists and patients. Therapist Lacey sneezed, two people said "bless you," then she sneezed again, and then everyone said it. Then I was all "eureka!"

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I bet Lacey was cute. That changes a lot of things, including how quickly you get blessed.

Nirgon said:

Think my point is knowing you're heading for a disintegration like that.

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I am removing my helmet, fuck that long thought about death shit. Give me quick and painful.

Nirgon said:

Think my point is knowing you're heading for a disintegration like that.

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I don't mean to shit all over your shower thought, but I guess I am anyway. With the way orbits work, would you even know you were headed towards the sun unless you had a computer map out your trajectory for you. If you were smart enough, you might realize that you're in a decaying orbit, but you wouldn't know how many thousands of years it will take for your corpse to reach the sun or if it was going to slam into a planet first.

Indyocracy said:

I am removing my helmet, fuck that long thought about death shit. Give me quick and painful.

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I'm going to masturbate constantly. Either that or start trying to swim towards the sun and do a slingshot maneuver to go back in time. But probably jerk off.

Nirgon said:

That's real scientific and didn't consider passing by a few planets that'd reel you in or whatever. Never heard of a decaying orbit, I'll peep it out.

I guess that'd just be Venus and Mercury? No guarantee youd pass them?

If you're on a forward trajectory in space you just keep going at the same speed unless something stops you iirc.

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Yeah but you will have an orbital momentum to your trajectory when you get cut loose from your space station. Multiple in fact. The space station orbits earth, which orbits the sun, which orbits the center of the milky way, which orbits the center of the universe. All of those objects are moving and you were moving along with them. Plot a direct path to the sun right now and it will not be there when you arrive. Look at the path spacecraft take when we shoot them at a specific body. That's one of the things about time travel that people never consider. If you travel back in time 20 years, you're going to be adrift in space because the earth won't be in the same location. You won't even be in the solar system. Possibly not in the milky way.

The more I think about it, the more I think you would definitely wind up in some kind of orbit around the sun because you were already in one and won't have enough momentum to beat it's gravity. I don't know enough to know if it's more likely to be a decaying orbit or stable.

Nirgon said:

This bothered them enough that they built some really expensive probe to get super close to it

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I thought I remembered them doing this. Did you find a flight path for it? It's really hard to represent flight paths in space, but they're usually interesting.