Lanx
<Prior Amod>
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Gardening
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Guest, it's time once again for the massively important and exciting FoH Asshat Tournament!
Go here and give us your nominations!Who's been the biggest Asshat in the last year? Give us your worst ones!
Dandain
Trakanon Raider
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Consider turning some portion of your lawn into natural habitat for your area or just trees and plants that birds/bees/insects can use to spend time there. Bare lawn is pretty fucking useless for most people most of the time. You could build a Japanese Zen garden of some renown on as much space as you have. Pathways lined with rocks is another way to shrink your lawn but create a feature. You could have quite the nature trail in 3-4 years.
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Gas powered vibrators are a real thing. Possibly better than battery powered, I'm guessing more bulky, but you're the expert.
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Mrs. Gravy
Quite Saucy
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Hahahahahaahaha - can't fucking stop laughing...of course that may be the bottle of Cabernet I had with dinner, but still.
Srathor
Vyemm Raider
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Heh true story, one of my buddies was getting married some 25ish years ago and another buddy and I had to get the strippers for the bachelor party. We call up a third buddy who is a deacon at his local southern baptist church but is the type of guy who always knows a guy. Yep gives us a number straight away.
We end up getting two strippers to come to the thing, and one of the last questions my buddy was asked was if we wanted them to bring toys. I said how much? (We were on a budget, I was delivering pizzas back then.) The replied back 100 bucks. My exact quote was "What!, for 100 bucks those toys better be gas powered!"
Yeah stupid story. But it was a good memory. Hell I got to use one of the toys on the better looking of the two strippers, sadly it was not gas powered. We ended up booking that stripper 4 more times through the next few years for various parties. Ahhh Kelly I miss you!
We end up getting two strippers to come to the thing, and one of the last questions my buddy was asked was if we wanted them to bring toys. I said how much? (We were on a budget, I was delivering pizzas back then.) The replied back 100 bucks. My exact quote was "What!, for 100 bucks those toys better be gas powered!"
Yeah stupid story. But it was a good memory. Hell I got to use one of the toys on the better looking of the two strippers, sadly it was not gas powered. We ended up booking that stripper 4 more times through the next few years for various parties. Ahhh Kelly I miss you!
Lanx
<Prior Amod>
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I'm asian moving to a 99.9% white area, i'd prefer not to make "asian" things, any other suggestions tho?
Dandain
Trakanon Raider
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Well just use the bigger template of a garden as the idea. You're free to make an orderly or disorderly arrangement. If I had that much space, I would make a walking path (loop) through the space I'd want to create. Maybe a water feature, something simple, a pond with basic circulation you can toss some one dollar goldfish into etc. I'd plant fruit trees, and trees in general, and a shitload of wild flowers. Just make a place you'd go want to picnic with your wife, or walk around with kids or relatives. If you match some of the space to what natural local habitat is like you can add bird houses, or feeders. If all wild spaces is not your style, then think about raised beds, or just gardening in general. Grow some things you want to eat possibly. Fruit has been rewarding to grow for me personally. Don't necessarily think that every section needs to be meticulously manicured. I've got some pictures of some of my flower beds in general as well as some of my fruit. You could even plan to build some kind of sweet ass man-hut inside your personal grove once it matures so you can be a lunatic retired old man surrounded by flowers, fruit, and creatures.
Silly ideas I know, but there is no wrong way to make your own slice of nature. Main thing is to plan what it will grow up to be. Such as not planting your trees too close, patience to let things mature, and thinking about how much sun exposure / shade any given location will be. Its really rewarding to walk through my yard and just hear the latent hum of bees in everything this time of year.
Silly ideas I know, but there is no wrong way to make your own slice of nature. Main thing is to plan what it will grow up to be. Such as not planting your trees too close, patience to let things mature, and thinking about how much sun exposure / shade any given location will be. Its really rewarding to walk through my yard and just hear the latent hum of bees in everything this time of year.
Lanx
<Prior Amod>
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The thing is, all the houses 100% of em that i've seen do not have a garden or a path(that sounds cool), they all just have mowed lawns and some kind of child activity playset. i was thinking about gardening for veggies and stuff, but if all my neighbors don't do it, should i?
I don't know about house and neighbor etiquette (i am a good neighbor, just yesterday i ran to my neighbor whose smoke alarm went off, with an extinguisher in tow, his GF was cooking for him and didn't see how sensitive our detectors were), and i don't want to stand out and give these white ppl more to talk about. I mean i doubt it, b/c i'm targeting mid 30s upper middle class white ppl, but i don't know how rednecky white ppl can be.
BrutulTM
Good, bad, I'm the guy with the gun.
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I think you're worrying too much about what your neighbors think of you. Nobody's going to judge you for having a vegetable garden in your backyard. One of the doctors in my town decided that he didn't like lawn at all so he turned 100% of his yard into a garden, front and back. It looked like his house was in a jungle. That was a little weird but if you want a garden in your backyard there is no plausible reason why your neighbors would give a fuck and you can take them tomatoes and sweet corn in the summer and make friends. White yuppies love the idea of gardening, they just don't do it because it's too much work.
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Dandain
Trakanon Raider
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So if there is some kind of home owner's association they will have likely a list of expectations and rules. As long as whatever you chose to do with your property isn't pushing any of those limits, I'm not sure what else would stand in the way. Neighbors tend to only bitch if what you're doing is ruining the value of their home, I can't imagine some kind of nature path / garden combination doing such a thing.
What about a 7-8 foot tall wood fence around the portion of your yard you want to change from strictly lawn. Its clearly going to take more work and attention to create a healthy grove vs a giant patch of green 2 inch tall grass. A project like we're discussing is definitely a place that will require time, but if you see the creation as a hobby and fulfilling the hard work won't seem near a chore. Even better if you find it an activity to do with a spouse/kids/friends and they aren't roped in to their dismay. Do think about maintenance, whatever the water access situation is, and other such details.
I get a lot of joy every year of handing out fruit to family, friends and neighbors. They all have junky boring backyards while mine makes a 100 pounds of fruits, in this context who's space is more wasted?
What about a 7-8 foot tall wood fence around the portion of your yard you want to change from strictly lawn. Its clearly going to take more work and attention to create a healthy grove vs a giant patch of green 2 inch tall grass. A project like we're discussing is definitely a place that will require time, but if you see the creation as a hobby and fulfilling the hard work won't seem near a chore. Even better if you find it an activity to do with a spouse/kids/friends and they aren't roped in to their dismay. Do think about maintenance, whatever the water access situation is, and other such details.
I get a lot of joy every year of handing out fruit to family, friends and neighbors. They all have junky boring backyards while mine makes a 100 pounds of fruits, in this context who's space is more wasted?
Mrs. Gravy
Quite Saucy
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Mist
REEEEeyore
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I need a new machete.
Are Gerbers good?
EDIT:
I also need a good lopper.
Elaeagnus umbellata - Wikipedia
This shit is the bane of my existence.
Are Gerbers good?
EDIT:
I also need a good lopper.
Elaeagnus umbellata - Wikipedia
This shit is the bane of my existence.
Last edited:
Oldbased
> Than U
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I like my Zombie Tac Extreme.
It has this handle
Frost Cutlery - BOWIE GRN/BLK 20" (TX-071GR)
but this blade.
Frost Cutlery Tac Xtreme D-Guard Machete with Black Composition Handles and Black Coated Stainelss Steel Clip Point Plain Edge Blades Model TX-068GR
I picked it up in Gatlinburg few years back before heading out on the trail from a knife store. That is probably going to be your best bet although you can save online if you trust buying something without feeling it.
The one I have would be fine for up to 3/8 branches but best 1/4 and below as it is pretty light for a machete. Obviously good for defense as well against bears, boars, angry white men and whatever else you need to use it for.
Would not use it as a yard machete. It is fairly easy to sharpen but nicks on rocks pretty easy.
Overall I was happy with it for the $30 I paid. It sits on my desk beside my 9mm because you just never know.
It has this handle
Frost Cutlery - BOWIE GRN/BLK 20" (TX-071GR)
but this blade.
Frost Cutlery Tac Xtreme D-Guard Machete with Black Composition Handles and Black Coated Stainelss Steel Clip Point Plain Edge Blades Model TX-068GR
I picked it up in Gatlinburg few years back before heading out on the trail from a knife store. That is probably going to be your best bet although you can save online if you trust buying something without feeling it.
The one I have would be fine for up to 3/8 branches but best 1/4 and below as it is pretty light for a machete. Obviously good for defense as well against bears, boars, angry white men and whatever else you need to use it for.
Would not use it as a yard machete. It is fairly easy to sharpen but nicks on rocks pretty easy.
Overall I was happy with it for the $30 I paid. It sits on my desk beside my 9mm because you just never know.
Lanx
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No idea on Machetes, but i bought a few WorkSharps for friends to sharpen their own kitchen knivevs, the husbands just end up taking it for their gardening tools instead, and the wives never touch it again. (cuz it has a flexible head it's good to sharpen most of those unwieldly blades.
Oldbased
> Than U
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We really need to know what the exact purpose of such is.
Hiking, yard whacking, self defense, muslim ceremonies, root digging.
In each of those events I would suggest something different based on grade, weight, material and prices.
Regardless just be careful. I have seen what a whack of a machete( accidental ) does to someone's leg. It is not pretty.
Hiking, yard whacking, self defense, muslim ceremonies, root digging.
In each of those events I would suggest something different based on grade, weight, material and prices.
Regardless just be careful. I have seen what a whack of a machete( accidental ) does to someone's leg. It is not pretty.
Mist
REEEEeyore
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Small limbs and thick vines. Some Japanese knotweed too but you can cut that shit with a dull butter knife so irrelevant to topic.
I've been using the cheap shitty machete I found in my shed for the past 4 years, I'm pretty good with it. Cleared enough brush to make a pile almost the size of my house with it so far. (Need to burn this, somehow.)
Almost gashed my leg with axes a few times though, trying to stay away from anything bigger than small hatchets as far as axe-type things go.
I've been using the cheap shitty machete I found in my shed for the past 4 years, I'm pretty good with it. Cleared enough brush to make a pile almost the size of my house with it so far. (Need to burn this, somehow.)
Almost gashed my leg with axes a few times though, trying to stay away from anything bigger than small hatchets as far as axe-type things go.
Oldbased
> Than U
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I'm a firm believer that the sharper something is the less likely you are to hurt yourself if you practice common sense. Most of all if you are tired, winded or exhausted do not swing sharp things. Have good footing and swing away when possible.
Sounds like you just need a standard 20-22" machete. Ace Hardware has them, or you can order one online. Shouldn't be over $20 picked up +_shipping.
If you need something a bit sharper but not as tough use a corn knife. Same long blade but thinner to whack through tough stalks better.
Sounds like you just need a standard 20-22" machete. Ace Hardware has them, or you can order one online. Shouldn't be over $20 picked up +_shipping.
If you need something a bit sharper but not as tough use a corn knife. Same long blade but thinner to whack through tough stalks better.
Mrs. Gravy
Quite Saucy
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So, I know that we sometimes play the "what is this plant" game. I really like this database for wildflowers etc. I hope that you do too. Forgive me if it has been shared already.
U.S. Wildflowers
U.S. Wildflowers
Mrs. Gravy
Quite Saucy
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I should be harvesting tomatoes ad peppers by 4th of July, if I can keep the critters out of the garden!