Godzilla: King of the Monsters (2019)

Shin Godzilla fucking sucks except for the hot American liaison I linked earlier in this thread. Shin Godzilla looks like he's retarded. Seriously, like short-bus window-licking requires a helmet retarded. And he barely moves. When he does, he looks even more retarded.

I didn't remember most of Shin Godzilla but watched it again a few months ago, and I was blown away by how fucking shitty it was. I think that the first time I watched it, I must have blocked out all the stupid because I wanted Godzilla to be good finally.

This is one of his evolutions before he becomes mostly the Godzilla we are familiar with. I dare anyone to tell me this doesn't look like he's retarded.

Dude’s got chin balls for sure.

Miguex said:

A little slow in 2 spots but this Godzilla movie completely delivered on the brawling and destruction. See it in IMAX if you can, it looked amazing on the giant screen and the entire theater was shaking half the time

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I somewhat agree with this, but I was more disappointed. It was not 2 hours of fighting, which I knew it couldn't be of course. It was more like 30 mins, which would be ok, except the other 90 minutes was Stupid Human Drama Level 10. The stupid in Kong: Skull Island was literally just Samuel L. Jackson doing a Captain Ahab. The rest of it, for the most part, was fairly decent aside from Brie Larson being a cunt (I just rewatched it the other night, and it is amazing how cardboard and aloof she is in most of that movie too.) The "connective tissue" in Godzilla was just bad aside from Charles Dance. When the only character you really want to live is a nameless grunt or two, I feel like they fucked up somewhere.

I'm making it sound like I hated it, which I didn't, but it wasn't anywhere as good as I let myself hype up to. My theater clapped at the end though, so maybe it was just me. I'd give it a 6/10, because the fight scenes were definitely awesome. But if you took all the fights out of it and just watched the SHD, it would be like a 2. It was still much better than the last Godzilla though. I wish I had rewatched that one too, maybe this one would have looked even better in comparison.

Oh, one side note. Kong had better get a LOT fucking bigger and damage (and fire!) resistant if he's gonna compete with Godzilla. In Kong they did say that he's still growing, and it was 50 years ago movie time, so anything can happen, but Godzilla would have wrecked that Kong. Sure, Kong is probably a better fighter, and if he were savvy he might do stuff like go for the eyes (Boo!), but if he's going to be one of the "alphas" he needs to go through an intense Rocky-style training montage first AND learn to shrug off nuclear breath and shit. I feel like one random breath would ignite all that gorilla hair instantly, and even if all it did was piss Kong off, 3rd degree burns over his entire body can't help much. Godzilla and King Gidorah would have used 1970s Kong to wipe their ass. Who knows though, maybe they'll team up right from the start instead of fighting first. Ha, right, we all know they will fight first.