How are you doing?

Jozu · Oct 26, 2021

Im not so sure how honest posters can truly be here.

If I told my life story most of you would probably just nod in understanding as my poster profile links closely to my real one.

Anyway, lost job cuz of covid, collected 900$ a week from MA unemployment for a year, got a even better job, and just babysit machines during the day and slay pussy by night.

Deathwing · Oct 26, 2021

Voyce said:
When will it get to the point?

It's not enough that you have to inject a poison into your body to be able to continue to subsist in society?

Ok, will it be to much when you have to move out of your house and give it to the State?

How about when they take away your ability to have and purchase anything they don't want you to have?

your ability to choose your mate?

Your ability to choose your profession?

I'm fine by the way, there are things within my control, mainly myself, and things outside my control.

During the course of my life events transpire, and that control has and will continue to overlap, I will, as I have in the past act according to what makes the most sense to me when each moment of overlap comes to pass.

For the time being I control my bubble and make what I think are practical decisions.

I have found as man, mental health can be very tempered with physical activity, especially the kind that allows for controlled violence, I always encourage Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu or other combat sports.

I think your second sentence is misleading. Do you not have any other vaccines? Those have been implicitly required by society for quite a while. How this new one is being handled and enforced is definitely on my list of misgivings. I have not foreseen it escalating as you seem to, so no, it has not come to the point where it's worth risking my job.

Kirun · Oct 26, 2021

Deathwing said:
Those have been implicitly required by society for quite a while.

Oh, have they? How many employers have you had inquire about them?

LachiusTZ · Oct 26, 2021

Deathwing said:
I think your second sentence is misleading. Do you not have any other vaccines? Those have been implicitly required by society for quite a while. How this new one is being handled and enforced is definitely on my list of misgivings. I have not foreseen it escalating as you seem to, so no, it has not come to the point where it's worth risking my job.

I miss being naive

Voyce · Oct 26, 2021

Deathwing said:
I think your second sentence is misleading. Do you not have any other vaccines? Those have been implicitly required by society for quite a while. How this new one is being handled and enforced is definitely on my list of misgivings. I have not foreseen it escalating as you seem to, so no, it has not come to the point where it's worth risking my job.

And this goes back to your original post, you have to post it in the right forum to become educated.

First and foremost the current injections being offered do not fit any traditional definition of a vaccine.

The CDC has literally redefined the term vaccine to accommodate it.

I was never required to be vaccinated, nor where my medical history ever required as proof of vaccination for any of the positions I have worked at.

I have not foreseen it escalating as you seem to

We're literally talking about people being fired, and not being allowed into establishments for refusing to take an experimental injection.

Hasn't escalated?

We (the forum) predicted this event at the outset, but you can go back less than six months to our CCP Puppets telling us that they would never require vaccine mandates, we knew enough to follow the breadcrumbs because we started paying attention, where as you have chosen to remain unaware.

It doesn't make us ridiculous, that you haven't been paying attention to reality.

Deathwing · Oct 26, 2021

Voyce said:
And this goes back to your original post, you have to post it in the right forum to become educated.

First and foremost the current injections being offered do not fit any traditional definition of a vaccine.

The CDC has literally redefined the term vaccine to accommodate it.

I was never required to be vaccinated, nor where my medical history ever required as proof of vaccination for any of the positions I have worked at.

We're literally talking about people being fired, and not being allowed into establishments for refusing to take an experimental injection.

Hasn't escalated?

We (the forum) predicted this event at the outset, but you can go back less than six months to our CCP Puppets telling us that they would never require vaccine mandates, we knew enough to follow the breadcrumbs because we started paying attention where as you haven't.

You have chosen to remain oblivious, it doesn't make us ridiculous, that you haven't been paying attention to reality.

Thanks for the reminder for not opting in. You seem intent on arguing against your assumptions of me. You do make some points worth responding to, but about half of that are things I did not say.

TJT · Oct 26, 2021

Deathwing said:
I think your second sentence is misleading. Do you not have any other vaccines? Those have been implicitly required by society for quite a while. How this new one is being handled and enforced is definitely on my list of misgivings. I have not foreseen it escalating as you seem to, so no, it has not come to the point where it's worth risking my job.

Really not the thread for it but this is remarkably disingenuous. The only time in your life you were ever checked for "vaccine compliance" is when you attended public K12 at age 6 or whatever age kindergarten is. If you did go to pubic school.

At no other time in your life were you ever checked if you had them.

Deathwing · Oct 26, 2021

I seem to recall vaccinations being a requirement for college. Perhaps that was only if you're staying in a dorm.

You're arguing explicit conformance, which I agree with can be a problem. I said implicit. Even if most people are opting into a vaccination, doesn't mean that society doesn't require one to function. Thus, my point is that this isn't some brave new territory, requiring a vaccine to "subsist in society". In some degree or another, herd immunity has made that a requirement of society for a while.

Voyce · Oct 26, 2021

Deathwing said:
Thanks for the reminder for not opting in. You seem intent on arguing against your assumptions of me. You do make some points worth responding to, but about half of that are things I did not say.

Thank you for readily admitting you're arguing in bad faith upfront, as opposed to wasting our time later

wormie · Oct 26, 2021

Phazael said:
wormie Three statements/questions not judging:
1) Get out of New York. You said yourself you have no ties there and that whole urban area is a giant black hole of emotional entropy. Most cities are, honestly. If you do not want to leave the state, then move upstate or something. Doing so would put you out of your comfort zone and give you a completely clean slate.

2) Reading is fine, but I think psychology (such as it is) is a bad rabbit hole to go down for you at the moment. History is probably a better subject to tackle when your mind is in a dark place and it has lasting value.

3) Was this girlfriend the one you met when you were doing the college as an adult thing? It sort of sounds like you might be having a slow motion mid life crisis, drawing on other things you have talked about in the Grown Up forum. All I can say to that topic is don't let your self worth be defined by others or by relationships (tough advice for sure, but it is true). If it is the same person, this might be a blessing in disguise but it probably also means you will take a while to mentally recover from it. Thats also why getting the hell out of New York and someplace a little more rural would be good for you, I think.

1) Hard to do because what I do for work doesnt exist anywhere else and the skills dont transfer and starting the same business somewhere else with zero connection is nearly impossible in this particular field. I do have other skills though and if what I have planned doesnt work, I will be programming something somewhere midwest (Utah is nice).

2) Its stuff like Atomic Habits and other self help books.

3) Nah that one was 5 years ago and it lasted a bit more than a year and a half so its been over for more than 3 years. This was a different person but its not really about the relationship or her. Its about what I have avoided for years, decades even. And yeah, It may be a midlife crisis but i dont think so. The issues i mentioned are not new, this is just stuff I ignored and let fester.

Thank you.

Hateyou · Oct 27, 2021

I’d say bad. Constantly angry, frustrated, worried.

Like my job and the people I work with. Been there a long time and like what I do, although boring some days. Get a lot of appreciation from the people under me for what I provide for them so that’s nice. Hate the company with a passion though. Corporate is woke, constant barrage of lefty BS on our home page. Everyone I know at work hates it. Gave no raises this year for the first time because they expected this to be a bad year. Post record profits each quarter since. Eventually people got mad, attendance was poor, so they raised minimum wage up to $16, gave a lot of entry levels raises. Then they went through various groups and gave them raises. Then they went through mid levels, women, and diverse people and gave them raises. The high performing salary people get nothing unless you get a job offer somewhere else. So that’s been weighing on me.

Don’t really hang out with like minded people enough, that’s why I post and browse here. Met up with

Synj a couple weeks ago for a beer and realized I hadn’t done that with anyone in a few years. Used to have a regular group of guys I’d hang out with on sundays, drink and watch football. The political garbage that got injected plus their increasingly annoying interest in fantasy football killed that though. They were watching their phones more than the game and not really engaging during the games

Work at home now but can go in when I want. Go to work to get some people interaction but the office is all work at home so no one to really interact with while I’m there.

Have ongoing pain issues in shoulders, neck, back of the thighs. Been ongoing for like 10 years, no one can figure anything out. Tens of thousands of $ have gone to that over the years with no resolution. Really sick of the constant nagging pain, it’s draining and I don’t have any hope of fixing it anymore. Not going to list all the shit I’ve tried as it’s ridiculously long list.

Still have a lot to be happy about, kids smart, marriage mostly good, nice house with good neighbors, plenty of hobby stuff and house projects to keep busy with. Can just tell my mental state has declined bigly the last few years. I have to try to focus on the good shit so I get out of bed every day.

Borzak · Oct 30, 2021

Pretty bad, but nothing I can do about it. Last diagnosis was scleroderma. Affecing my skin obviously, my heart so my heart rate is 140 at rest unless I take medication. I'm so freaking so sore all the time. Getting into and out of a char is a major understaking. No work, no driving, no going for a walk.

Nothing to do with covid. I had it last February before it was making much news. Picked it up at a hospital waiting area most likely an hour from New Orleans where it first popped up.

Living with a really nice and cute girlfriend so I got that going for me. Met her on vacation for a week at age 14. Back when I had a facebook account she sent me a message and it went from there. She's a nurse but thankfully we're not doing home surgery so OR nurse is not a huge help lol.

moonarchia · Nov 1, 2021

Gavinmad said:
Who fights the war after you?

The White Knight of the Forum of course.

Rajaah · Nov 3, 2021

wormie said:
Two months ago my girlfriend decided to break up with me. This was a woman with whom I thought I was going to spend the rest of my life with, to have a family with. And from everything that was communicated to me by her, she felt the same way right up to the moment of dumping me. Worst part of it all was that she didnt talk to me leading up to it and that she didnt want to even attempt to fix whatever to her seemed like the correct reason for the break up. She assumed a bunch of shit, she took things out of context and unilaterally decided that things wont work and broke it off. This breakup blew open everything that is wrong with my life and I cant, and wont, sweep it under the rug again.

I dislike my job, its not challenging, its boring, its beneath me, it has no future, its not a career, its just income. Its a dream job for 90% of the people. I work for myself, I make my own hours, I make my own rules. I am solidly into upper middle class in New York City on a single income. I do what I want and I answer to no one. But it is a job that hasnt changed in 15 years. I have made no advances, I have made no changes, its the same thing and it has nowhere to go. I hate it.

I dislike where I live, both my condo and the city. I love the access to culture that living in NYC gives me but the people that I have to deal with do not align with my view of the world. Of course I cant say I looked that hard to find people that do so its just another thing that weighs me down mentally, another thing that is my fault. Also, I have lived in the same apartment for over a decade and its the same as it was when I bought it. I did nothing to it, havent changed anything, havent fixed anything. Its in the same static state that reminds me of the static place all of me has been in. And I hate it.

I had two best friends but now I have none. One I lost to the brain rot of progressivism, he is absolutely unbearable to be around and I feel nothing but contempt towards him. The other friend had a long history of perk abuse and one day, a few years ago, he decided heroine was a good idea. Luckily he made it through that alive (and somehow fatter than before) but now he has his own life, one that is very much removed from me, one where he is someone I do not know anymore.

And now I am alone. The relationship that I used to cover up the holes in my life is gone and all I have is this exposed wound that is constantly perturbed by everything that surrounds me, everything I cant avoid. And all the things that make me miserable today, are things of my own doing. I have lead a comfortable life, everything always came easy so I never tried anything hard. I cant say I challenged myself in any way in 40 years. Everything I hate about my life is a result of my choices and its quiet overwhelming.

Needless to say, I have been thinking a bit about where I am now and how I got here and how to get out. I have come to the conclusion that if I am to fix my life, I must change. I must have a goal and I must be find something that will challenge me.

So I have stopped reading for entertainment and started reading something more intellectually demanded, psychology primarily. I stopped wasting time with porn and twitch. I almost never watched TV before and that hasnt changed and I am certain "almost never" is now "never". I dont drink more than a glass of scotch once or twice a month and dont plan on changing this. I dont smoke. I started taking hour long daily walks and started lifting weights again. I have chosen a path for a career that I will pursue, at the exclusions of everything else, for the next year as that is how long it will take to know that I will make it along that path. I have decided that my hobby (collecting college degrees) has been just another form of escapism and I will no longer spend any time on it. And I have also begun slowly fixing and cleaning up where I live. In small chunks of time, here and there, but daily and without days off.

And (this gets its own paragraph because its important) I have begun writing daily in a journal. Just free form musings with no goal other than to work through my feelings and thoughts. This journaling has been a tremendous help, I highly recommend everyone who needs to arrange their thoughts to just sit down and write down what comes to mind. It has grounded me and my thoughts. My mind wanders around a lot less since I started and I can attribute a lot of my emotional recovery (thought I am nowhere near recovered, maybe 5%) to it.

So how am I doing? Thats relative. A year ago I was happy for what felt like the first time in my life. A month ago I was in what I can only refer to as hell. Today I am better than I was yesterday and tomorrow I will be better than I am today.

I will leave off this long...whatever the fuck...with a quote from Nietzsche, a quote that underlies what I have decided I must do with my life if I am to be happy and a quote that lays out what I believe to be important for a good, maybe even happy, life:

"When one has one’s wherefore of life, one gets along with almost every how."

If you made it this far, thanks for reading this long winded, disjointed and woefully incomplete mess.

I second what was already said about considering moving upstate. Cities are murder on the mental health, especially when by yourself. About 12 years ago my first GF broke up with me a month or two after we moved to a city together and it was weird being in this huge city where I didn't know anybody and had nothing to do. I played Bioshock a lot and slowly went crazy until I ended up going back to school, which helped a lot. However, after a while the soullessness of the city begins to grate on you and it's during those times when I found that going back to more wilderness-y suburban areas felt right. Also reconnected with people I hadn't seen lately and that also helped, to an extent. Time was the biggest cure though, the first few weeks were terrible and then it got better.

Tmac · Nov 4, 2021

Rajaah said:
I second what was already said about considering moving upstate. Cities are murder on the mental health, especially when by yourself. About 12 years ago my first GF broke up with me a month or two after we moved to a city together and it was weird being in this huge city where I didn't know anybody and had nothing to do. I played Bioshock a lot and slowly went crazy until I ended up going back to school, which helped a lot. However, after a while the soullessness of the city begins to grate on you and it's during those times when I found that going back to more wilderness-y suburban areas felt right. Also reconnected with people I hadn't seen lately and that also helped, to an extent. Time was the biggest cure though, the first few weeks were terrible and then it got better.

When’s the last time you did something social that kind of scared you?

Hateyou · Nov 4, 2021

Rajaah said:
I second what was already said about considering moving upstate. Cities are murder on the mental health, especially when by yourself. About 12 years ago my first GF broke up with me a month or two after we moved to a city together and it was weird being in this huge city where I didn't know anybody and had nothing to do. I played Bioshock a lot and slowly went crazy until I ended up going back to school, which helped a lot. However, after a while the soullessness of the city begins to grate on you and it's during those times when I found that going back to more wilderness-y suburban areas felt right. Also reconnected with people I hadn't seen lately and that also helped, to an extent. Time was the biggest cure though, the first few weeks were terrible and then it got better.

Don’t forget working with your hands. I could tell your mental health improved while you were trying to bleach / scrub / acid wash the spray painted BLM off of your sidewalk.

Rajaah · Nov 4, 2021

Tmac said:
When’s the last time you did something social that kind of scared you?

I honestly don't know. Maybe when I got invited out with a bunch of girls right before COVID happened? A pack of girls, just an absolute gaggle of 'em. All hot. I don't think that scared me per se but it's the last time I remember going outside my comfort zone a little bit because there was definitely pressure to be "the man of the group" and ward off predators etc. I was back to the normal comfort zone halfway through the evening when I had two of them sitting in my lap though (on either thigh, like Santa Claus).

Oh, the last time something scared me, I 'member now. 8 years ago, tried rock-climbing out in the wilderness with people I know and it started raining while I was halfway up. I had no idea how to quickly get down like they did, so they told me to just let go of the rock and "walk backwards" as they lowered the rope slack. I couldn't do that, so they said to just let go and dangle. For a first-time rock-climber being about 60 feet off the ground at the time, telling me to "just let go and dangle" DID NOT WORK. I tried to climb down myself until I slipped (due to trying to rush) and ended up dangling anyway. What the fuck. Friends got a chuckle out of me being pissed-off at the whole thing. Not rock climbing ever again, a-holes.

Hateyou said:
Don’t forget working with your hands. I could tell your mental health improved while you were trying to bleach / scrub / acid wash the spray painted BLM off of your sidewalk.

My mental health got worse when I couldn't get rid of the graffiti at first. But then when I eventually found something that worked, my mental health got better!

You can still vaguely see the remnants of some of the BLMs on the sidewalk with enough sunlight if you look directly at them and are looking for them specifically, but they're invisible to the average passerby. Yeah it took some work to scrub up but it was worth it. Fuuuuuck 'em

Tmac · Nov 4, 2021

Rajaah said:
I honestly don't know. Maybe when I got invited out with a bunch of girls right before COVID happened? A pack of girls, just an absolute gaggle of 'em. All hot. I don't think that scared me per se but it's the last time I remember going outside my comfort zone a little bit because there was definitely pressure to be "the man of the group" and ward off predators etc. I was back to the normal comfort zone halfway through the evening when I had two of them sitting in my lap though (on either thigh, like Santa Claus).

Do something social that’s outside your comfort zone in the next week.

Lanx · Nov 8, 2021

not good boss

Foler · Nov 15, 2021

Life couldn’t be better. Live in the woods. Wake up every morning to greet my wild turkeys. Have bears and deer walk by my home office window, etc.

Would recommend any of you city folk do the same - get out of cities. Nature being the best therapy isn’t some cliche.

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