I like turtles

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McQueen

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Little kids shouldn't be playing with them in the first place. They're like paintings that move, basically.

The misconception about turtles spreading salmonella everywhere they go started back in the 50's with dime store turtles. They'd sell quarter sized turtles with a flowery plastic fish bowl, which turned into a cesspool of shit and piss in about two days. Retarded kids would put these tiny, disease ridden turtles in their mouth. Voila, salmonella outbreak and decades of fear born from ignorance of proper turtle husbandry. Keep them clean and healthy, practice good personal hygiene, and the risks are very small.
 

StoiCynic

Trakanon Raider
2,708
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Dude hates his fuckin turtle. Lifelong friends and this is the thanks he gets?
Your 2 for 2 with making me chuckle. You sir, win the PigBenis "should I get a turtle thread".

Now pat yourself on the back and reflect on your success in hilarity. Well done!
 

Aamry

Blackwing Lair Raider
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I have only one peice of advice. Name him A'tuin. If you don't know why then read Small Gods.
I hate to say it, but Om was the name of the turtle in Small Gods, A'tuin is the turtle who supports the elephants who support discworld.

That being said, I think something furry makes a better pet. Ferret, or rats or something if you don't want to maintain a dog or cat.
 

lurker

Vyemm Raider
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Get a Goldfish. Pet stores will run specials on 5 or 10 gallon tanks for $20-30. A 'feeder' fish (comet goldfish) can be had for less than fifty cents. You don't need to heat the tank; just use the simplest of filters that comes with the set-up. They're not cats or dogs, but they do respond when they see you enter the room and if you want, they will help you teach your kid some responsibility. You will need to do partial water changes and filter maintenance and of course feed him. The last one we had we had named "Sushi" and he lived for 12 years.
 

McQueen

Ahn'Qiraj Raider
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More interesting than a goldfish, but probably less so than a cat.

rrr_img_62081.jpg
 

joz123

Potato del Grande
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9,460
I picked up a stray turtle in the middle of my street one time when I was a kid and found out the hard way it was a snapping turtle.....
 

Pigbenis

Molten Core Raider
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God, this thread lol train-wreck.gif.

I don't want a fucking cat or dog! They both require a certain level of physical and emotional attention that I just don't have time for. There are multiple days a week where my place will be totally empty for 12 hours at a time. Sure I could get a cat, but they still want and need some attention. I'd feel bad leaving the thing. Turtles are emotionless so it seems like an easy pick. Also, I don't know how many of you are actually parents, but you must have bad kids or something. Any hands on time with the tortoise would be totally monitored. If I tell him don't put your hands in your mouth while playing with turtle he'll listen. Afterwards I'd be sure to bathe him in hand sanitizer. It's not rocket science. Also, this isn't really as much a responsibility lesson, but just something cool to have around the house. I think he's still a bit too young to start that.

Lifespan is definitely a concern though I get that. 50 fucking years is no joke. Are there any tortoises out there that die a little quicker? Like maybe 20 years? Lifespan could be a deal breaker. Worst case I could put him on Craigslist and give him away. Fish could be an option they just seem kind of boring. They seem more like a decoration piece to me. Maybe I could just get a couple geckos or something, but then I have to worry about crickets. This is turning into a pain in the dick.
 

Chanur

Shit Posting Professional
<Gold Donor>
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Get her a rat. Literally by far the best small furry pet you could own. They love people. Ours would chill on our shoulder like a pirates parrot. It would run back and forth in the cage mirroring you when you walked by. Plus if you end up getting tired of them they only live a couple years. All this and easy to care for.

I say this as someone that has had a guinea pig a hamster and like 10 rats over the years.
 

McQueen

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Tortoises are all pretty long-lived. Turtles are closer to 20-30ish, usually. Even a large (75-90 gallon) aquarium will take up less space than a tortoise table. They're definitely more lively and interactive than a tortoise.

Take a look at Pink Belly Sidenecks.
 

Aamry

Blackwing Lair Raider
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Just capture a Red-eared slider if you're so dead set on a turtle. When you're kid is done with it, just kill it, since it's an invasive species in most places.
 

McQueen

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RES's make terrible pets. The females top out at 13" or so, and they're aggressive as all hell. I do fully support the effort to eradicate them as an invasive species, though. They muscle out more interesting local species really fast.
 

Famm

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I don't want a fucking cat or dog! They both require a certain level of physical and emotional attention that I just don't have time for. There are multiple days a week where my place will be totally empty for 12 hours at a time.
If you have time for a turtle or any other caged/tanked animal you most certainly have time for a cat. They can handle 12 hours alone perfectly fine and won't get all depressed or something if you don't pay attention to them. Dog, no of course not, but cats are literally the perfect pet for your situation. Plus its an actual PET, a reptile is a hobby at best and an annoying science experiment at worst. There's a reason you see them more in classrooms than people's homes.
 

Gaige

Legal Ephebophile
1,912
116
Don't get a little kid a turtle. Little kids think they know what they want, but they don't. You know what I wanted when I was 8 years old? A turtle.
I'm 31 now, I still have that same fucking turtle. Really want to sign up your kid for seemingly a lifelong commitment at 3 years old? And don't count on the little bastard dying before your kid is middle aged and bald either, if you can keep a cactus alive, you can keep a turtle alive, which means they don't even have the decency to teach responsibility like a dog does.
Um, do you really have the same fucking turtle your parents bought you when you were 8 lol? You've had the same turtle for 23 years?
 

Izo

Tranny Chaser
19,579
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Um, do you really have the same fucking turtle your parents bought you when you were 8 lol? You've had the same turtle for 23 years?
It's like you date girls younger than his turtle. Hard to fathom, pedo.
 

Tarrant

<Prior Amod>
15,896
9,295
While I'm usually the first to jump on that bandwagon, lets chill on the pedo stuff unless it's relevant to the discussion, I'd like this section to remain as troll free as possible.

And Gaige, are you surprised someone had the same pet for that long or that the turtle has lived that long? Turtles live a really long time.