I think I have become a shitty human being

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GoingBackToCali_sl

shitlord
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I work for a General Contractor. Last few months I had to supervise union workers for a project. One in particular really irritated me. Older guy. He was cordial, always answered me in "Yes sir", but he just didn't have the technical knowledge to even belong on a project of this magnitude. He always says "I'm here to work sir," only to fucking fail at whatever task I assign him, no matter how much personal supervision I give him. Welding skills were shit, installation skills were shit, had no idea how to work around other trades. His lack of any industry knowledge, combined with his eager beaver attitude just made me pissed for some reason. What's the point of having a can-do attitude if you can't be trained to do nothing.

I lost count of how many times I called him "retarded," or "fucking useless" to his face. This is construction, there is no HR to cry to if supervisors are mean. He always took my verbal berating, always answering with "sorry sir, I will try harder next time sir," which just pissed me off even more for some reason. He was like an Uncle Tom, a fucking nitwit but subservient. To be honest, he would probably get more respect from me if he tried to talk back and defend himself. I honestly thought he was a fucking moron and only got into the union because of some sort of affirmative action bullshit.

I relegated him to just be a laborer, but even then I catch him idling drifting off into space like he's in another world. Past couple of days my frustration blew over and I just chewed him out in the worst humanly way possible. Stopped short of calling him a American Inventor. Told him to fuck off go home and don't come back to my jobsite. Called office to rush deliver his final paycheck so I can be rid of this incompetent human being.

Today I found out he is a talented artist that does murals in Oakland and lives in Section 8 (low income) housing, who just recently joined the union to help him get by. There's even a old newspaper clipping of him doing an exhibit, with some of the proceeds going to help homeless shelters. Haven't felt this guilty about something in a long time.
 
Big Phoenix

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Why should you feel guilty? He was an enormous liability if everything you say is true.
 
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GoingBackToCali_sl

shitlord
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He was a liability, yes, but I probably just screwed him out of getting any more dispatches from the union (for a while at least) after I reported his abysmal performance. I got into the industry through college and not through the field, so I'm sort of green. Part of me is wanting to give him a second chance, and if this was any other industry I probably would. Construction just changes people man. I remember in college I was way more calm, chill, hey hey hey smoke weed er'day sort of person.

Since graduating two years ago, my patience with other human beings has taken a nosedive. I'm not sure if I need anger management or just need to get a desk job.
 
Joeboo

Joeboo

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No one deserves a job just because they need money. An employee better be able to do the job to at least some level of competence. Otherwise, GTFO. You aren't running a charity.

Think of it this way, how will the rest of your crew feel about someone who can't pull their weight collecting the same paycheck they do when they work hard and are productive all day? Its not fair to your other employees to have to pick up this guys slack.
 
Izo

Izo

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Get a desk job.
 
iannis

iannis

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Well, you should feel a little bit guilty. Not at getting rid of a bad worker. Not at having a hand in maintaining quality of work in the union... just at how angry you let it get you and how quickly you were willing to write him off as a bad worker+bad human being in your own mind.

Maybe if this ever happens again you can ask the guy "are you state certified donkey brained or what? What's the hold up? Are you just fucking lazy, or are you lost? What the fuck is happening that's making you such a pain in my balls? I want the work to get done. If you don't know HOW to do it that's different than just being human garbage"

It doesn't make you a terrible person. Running a crew of any type is stressful and dealing with this situation is always difficult.

You just made a mistake is all. But it's a mistake that most of us make at least once. Sometimes more than once. The red flag is that when someone at your work is making youfuriouswhen they're not even in the room... you just need to figgure out why that is and what you can do about it.

Sometimes that's getting rid of them. You still might have decided to do the same thing even knowing what you know now. He might have been that much of a hazard. It's the anger you're guilty about, not the action.
 
OneofOne

OneofOne

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Getting rid of an employee who can't or won't do the job for which he's hired shouldn't make you feel bad. Lots of us have been there /shrug It's the calling him a retard to his face and shit that makes you a dick. Plus it makes you look like a pussy berating someone like that when you have power over them (to have or not have a paycheck). I'm not saying you are - I don't know you - but it can lead other employees to lose respect for you, and can make your work life more difficult overall. Honestly just sounds like you need to find another line of work.
 
Swagdaddy

Swagdaddy

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As a supervisor in my own career field, my opinion is that you did nothing wrong by removing someone who was incapable of completing the required tasks in order to get your task or "mission" completed in an acceptable fashion.

That being said the way you berated and belittled him is extremely unprofessional, unnecessary, and does make you sound like a complete douche.

I'm not saying that you have any obligation to kiss this guys ass or anything, but all that you had to say was "I'm sorry but you just don't seem to have the skillset I need to accomplish this task." and let him go.

The absurd disrespect and childish tantrums you went on does make you seem like a shitty human being if I had to guess. Maybe take some lessons from this "Uncle Tom" and find some respect for your fellow man and get some fucking class.

Faggot.
 
Dyvim

Dyvim

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Yes you have become a shitty human being.
You are part of the paperpushing suits plague that haunts this Kotick-ridden gone to shit western world were all part of.
You said it yourself you did it the fast lane way via college which is not bad per se, but also lack the necessary skills in the hr-part of this job you work in, as you pointed out there is no real hr-person to answer to. The way you handled the situation is highly unprofessional and reeks of childish or at least -way too inexpirienced in this field- attitude.
In your position it would have been your damn job to find out what this guy was good at; im not sure how a highly talented artist would be of best use at a construction side (maybe conversing blueprints? dunno) but im sure there is a spot to excell in.
As my teacher always put it: The world cant consist of only chieftains, some have to be the ordinary warrior.
To stay in the picture your job as chieftain would have been to see this warrior sucks at bear hunting unlike his pals so have him stay with the women to cock the stew or sew some hides see how that works out, not throw him outta the settlement telling him good luck on your own.
 
Skanda

Skanda

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Haha, in the construction industry you're lucky the guy didn't beat the shit out of you after you gave him so much lip. Those guys don't tend to have the most stable dispositions in my experience.
 
Big Phoenix

Big Phoenix

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GoingBackToCali_sl said:
He was a liability, yes, but I probably just screwed him out of getting any more dispatches from the union (for a while at least) after I reported his abysmal performance. I got into the industry through college and not through the field, so I'm sort of green. Part of me is wanting to give him a second chance, and if this was any other industry I probably would. Construction just changes people man. I remember in college I was way more calm, chill, hey hey hey smoke weed er'day sort of person.

Since graduating two years ago, my patience with other human beings has taken a nosedive. I'm not sure if I need anger management or just need to get a desk job.
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You know, some people are truly down on their luck, or just not given the chance to succeed for whatever reason. Those some people are a very, very small fraction compared to the overall unwashed masses who are completely fucking stupid and more than happy to shoot themselves in the foot for no good reason at all. Give chances and feel bad for the people who actually deserve, not mouth breathers who cant follow the simplest of directions and perform at the most basic of whats expected of them.
That being said the way you berated and belittled him is extremely unprofessional, unnecessary, and does make you sound like a complete douche.

I'm not saying that you have any obligation to kiss this guys ass or anything, but all that you had to say was "I'm sorry but you just don't seem to have the skillset I need to accomplish this task." and let him go.
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This. Unless the guy was being a belligerent asshole, no need to be unprofessional and demean someone for simply not being cutout for the job. Next time just simply tell them how they are screwing up, how they should fix it or show them how and if the problem persists, just fire them and look for a replacement.
 
Tarrant

Tarrant

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All has been said that can be really. Firing someone who is incapable of doing the job is fine, that's the way the world works and that's why people earn paychecks, for doing a job. The moment they can't do that then you work with them and if they are still incapable then you have to let them go.

Much like was already said, berating him is not only very unprofessional, it's childish. You're onl ymaking a bad situation worse for not only him, but for everyone involved. Next time something like that comes up just let them know you think maybe this isn't the right job for them and leave it at that.
 
Gavinmad

Gavinmad

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You guys are all shitty human beings for berating the OP so much for berating that poor employee.
 
Tuco

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There's a few possibilities here:
1. The guy was an over-achiever who was motivated and worked really hard but just didn't have the experience, intelligence and/or talent to deliver at the level he was at.
2. The guy was a bullshitter who got the job because he knew all the right words to say or had connections. However he's lazy and isn't attempting to deliver. He just thinks he can take abuse, give the perfect responses and get a paycheck while being a liability until he moves on to his next job.
3. The guy was a normal dude but something devastating recently happened (death, divorce, drugs, lost all his bitcoins on mtgox, just watched the season finale of Lost etc).

From what you've said it's #2.

I've seen this before where as soon as someone thinks they have an opportunity coming soon (in this case whatever painting shit he has in the pipe) they get this incredible mental defense against abuse. If you're thinking, "Whatever you say doesn't matter, I'm quitting soon and this is just a paycheck to me." there's nothing they won't say 'sorry sir I'll do better next time.' because in their mind you're just a pawn in their game.

In addition, a good bullshitter sees the failure->abuse->recovery cycle as part of the game. If it's easier for a bullshitter to manipulate people around him to keep his job than it is to work hard and earn the respect of his peers then maybe he'll do that.


The worst thing you can do, for yourself, your team and the person in question is to let him fuck around and just mitigate the liability he presents.

The second worst thing you can do is to get rid of him without telling him exactly why you're getting rid of him. If you say shit like, "Oh you're not what we're looking for" there's no chance for introspection on his part to realize that he needs to step it up.

The best thing you can do is to fire him and give him constructive criticism as to why you're firing him. This accomplishes your job as supervisor while still helping him in the long run.

What you did is close to the best thing you can do, but depending on what you actually said it seems that you lacked the willpower to focus your anger into something constructive for him. That doesn't make you a shitty human being, it makes you a human who is still learning to manage shitty workers.


If it was actually #1 or #3 it's a totally different ballgame and your fault is making the wrong judgement rather than handling that judgement.
 
Izo

Izo

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Do you give yourself infractions for comical logical fallacies, Tubro? A trichotomy is all the stratification you thought possible? A fourth (5th, 6th) option could be this: OP is a sociopath, liar or degenerate
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