IT/Software career thread: Invert binary trees for dollars.

Noodleface

Noodleface

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We've got a younger dev who is up my ass all day messaging me nonstop, stopping at my cube nonstop, updating me on their code, their home, their entire life story. I mean... Nonstop barrage.

How do you guys deal with energy vampires like this?

Also... He farts nonstop and it smells BAD. Like clear the office bad. He's definitely autistic too, so as a parent of an autistic child I understand the social stuff is hard.
 
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Kithani

Kithani

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Noodleface said:
We've got a younger dev who is up my ass all day messaging me nonstop, stopping at my cube nonstop, updating me on their code, their home, their entire life story. I mean... Nonstop barrage.

How do you guys deal with energy vampires like this?

Also... He farts nonstop and it smells BAD. Like clear the office bad. He's definitely autistic too, so as a parent of an autistic child I understand the social stuff is hard.
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Shart in his cubicle
 
alavaz

alavaz

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I'd fire him or conspire to have him fired. I can't stand unabashed farters. That's just embarrassing for everyone. You know everyone that walks by and smells that rank shit is looking around and postulating whos rancid asshole that came out of.
 
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Noodleface

Noodleface

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alavaz said:
I'd fire him or conspire to have him fired. I can't stand unabashed farters. That's just embarrassing for everyone. You know everyone that walks by and smells that rank shit is looking around and postulating whos rancid asshole that came out of.
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Honestly I am fairly sure everyone knows it's him. It always smells the same and he ALWAYS smells. He's an office chatterbox so he's constantly crop dusting people.
 
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Identikit

Identikit

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Noodleface said:
We've got a younger dev who is up my ass all day messaging me nonstop, stopping at my cube nonstop, updating me on their code, their home, their entire life story. I mean... Nonstop barrage.

How do you guys deal with energy vampires like this?

Also... He farts nonstop and it smells BAD. Like clear the office bad. He's definitely autistic too, so as a parent of an autistic child I understand the social stuff is hard.
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"I dont care"

"dude was that you?"

this is literally all it should take.
 
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Gutterflesh

Gutterflesh

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Years back I worked with a CTO that was very serious when it came to the business and razor sharp, so I had to get my game face on whenever I walked into his office.

One day we were having a heated discussion and out of nowhere he lets out of a little toot while standing at the white board.

I instinctively snapped a furrowed look at him like WTF did you just fart?

He sheepishly smiled and said "Sorry that was me".

Needless to say I won the argument that day.
 
Gutterflesh

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moonarchia said:
Tell him not to talk to you directly. Be very specific that you do not give two fucks about his personal life, and any work conversations need to be done through appropriate channels, ie his manager.
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1745479276876.png
 
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alavaz

alavaz

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There used to be this smoking hot German project manager that worked in the dev office and I used to like to go in there just for some boner fuel later on. I think she liked talking to anyone that wasn't an autist. Anyway, there was a neckbeard dev who worked in there that used to fart it up and I felt so bad for this lady that she had to be caged in a dark room that smelled like a diaper full of Indian food. She seemed surprisingly nonchalant about it, just kind of rolled her eyes and be like "Oh Rob's stinking it up again, hehe."

No point to that story other than dudes who openly fart in public are the worst.
 
Noodleface

Noodleface

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alavaz said:
There used to be this smoking hot German project manager that worked in the dev office and I used to like to go in there just for some boner fuel later on. I think she liked talking to anyone that wasn't an autist. Anyway, there was a neckbeard dev who worked in there that used to fart it up and I felt so bad for this lady that she had to be caged in a dark room that smelled like a diaper full of Indian food. She seemed surprisingly nonchalant about it, just kind of rolled her eyes and be like "Oh Rob's stinking it up again, hehe."

No point to that story other than dudes who openly fart in public are the worst.
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He makes me want to kill people.

Also he's my mentee
 
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moonarchia

moonarchia

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Noodleface said:
He makes me want to kill people.

Also he's my mentee
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Are you his direct supervisor? If so, draw some personal boundaries now not later. Start documenting his unacceptable behaviors, and get him on a PIP ASAP so you can get rid of him. Someone like that needs to either get his issues under control, or not be employed there. It's not just your productivity he is cratering.
 
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Noodleface

Noodleface

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moonarchia said:
Are you his direct supervisor? If so, draw some personal boundaries now not later. Start documenting his unacceptable behaviors, and get him on a PIP ASAP so you can get rid of him. Someone like that needs to either get his issues under control, or not be employed there. It's not just your productivity he is cratering.
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No I'm not a supervisor or manager
 
Cad

Cad

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Noodleface said:
We've got a younger dev who is up my ass all day messaging me nonstop, stopping at my cube nonstop, updating me on their code, their home, their entire life story. I mean... Nonstop barrage.

How do you guys deal with energy vampires like this?

Also... He farts nonstop and it smells BAD. Like clear the office bad. He's definitely autistic too, so as a parent of an autistic child I understand the social stuff is hard.
Click to expand...
Whenever he comes to talk to you, just get up and act like you have to go somewhere. Go to the bathroom, go outside, go do something else for a minute until he leaves. When he messages you, take an hour to respond. Or two hours. Be subtly unfriendly and steadily ramp it up until he gets it.

Also if you do end up talking to him, answer his questions with questions. Be unhelpful. Say you don't know. Etc etc.

He's acting this way to you because he's getting what he wants out of it. Make it so that he's not.
 
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moonarchia

moonarchia

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Noodleface said:
No I'm not a supervisor or manager
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Final sentence still applies. You are doing everyone else a disservice by not shutting his shit down hard. Get your supervisor and his supervisor informed and involved. They will work with HR with a quickness. Uncontrolled flatulence is never OK in an office. Doesn't matter if it's dietary or health issues, and they will get it sorted.

The jabbering about personal stuff will end when you tell him to keep your conversations work related. Get code questions in email, and loop in his/your supervisor so there is always a paper trail.
 
ShakyJake

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moonarchia said:
Final sentence still applies. You are doing everyone else a disservice by not shutting his shit down hard. Get your supervisor and his supervisor informed and involved. They will work with HR with a quickness. Uncontrolled flatulence is never OK in an office. Doesn't matter if it's dietary or health issues, and they will get it sorted.

The jabbering about personal stuff will end when you tell him to keep your conversations work related. Get code questions in email, and loop in his/your supervisor so there is always a paper trail.
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Yeah, we had this fat fuck that was so fat he couldn't properly wipe his ass. The smell was so horrendous we had to get HR involved.
 
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