Kegkilla Exposed. A bro or a foe?

So six+ years ago we all meet this guy, we'll name him "loser", so loser works as the concierge of our building. He's nice enough but really skittish and just kind of strange. Sometimes the ebonics was so strong I really didn't know what he was talking about. Once when I was leaving the building he literally handed me "eight bills" and asked me to go get a money order for him to pay his rent. I did it because I knew him but it was really, really weird. Plus the whole thing cost me about a dollar, so that was kind of strange too. Just one of those cant-you-do-this-yourself situations. He hangs out with my exboyfriend/boyfriend at the time and my future husband/friend at the time and Req and a few other randos from our building. It's hard to explain the environment of Req and Tyens if you werent a part of it. It was all come and go, free for all. Doors unlocked. Beer? Drink it. Food? Eat it. Pot? Smoke it. Door was always open. Want to tell your one night stand this is your place and f her in the bathroom? Whatever floats your boat. No rules. Loser would come over often. Once I was telling him about Trader Joe's and how great and cheap it is. He had never heard of it and asked me if I would go with him to show him the ropes. I agreed. I love TJs. He drives his car. It was a BMW or Mercedes or something. Super old, but fine. I guess his dad gave it to him years ago. When we're on the way back from TJs, he told me he was really disappointed. He thought that I said it was going to be cheap...He paid over $100. At this point, as a person with a brain, I am flabbergasted. This man obviously knows nothing about money.

Fast forward a little bit, this guys money starts getting really tight. He has to sell the car his dad gave him to pay rent. Soon he has to move out of the building he gets a FAT discount on rent from because he can't afford it. Then he realizes he has to get a new job because he just wasn't making ends meet. Really sad situation seeing how stressed out this guy was. One of Reqs oldest friends got him in touch with a job. Nothing special, but in a computer something company that does well. I mean, he is in no way going to make big bucks at this job, but it gets him out of his current situation. This is one of the many times I want to scream YOURE FUCKING WELCOME at this asshat. Unfortunately, there is one problem. He doesn't have a car. Like a true genius, he sold his form of transportation to pay for a single months rent. Don't get me started.

Here comes Tyen and Reqs sense of generosity and community. They feel so bad for this guy that they tell him that he can use a car. This car is average, nothing special. It has a broken wheel or something and expired plates, but no one is using it so they said that if he fixes those two things he can use it UNTIL HE CAN AFFORD A CAR OF HIS OWN. He is so happy and accepts. Everyone keeps in touch, no big deal. I needed to pick up a christmas present for my brother and I asked him to drive me, hello, youre using my bf's car for free, you can drive me 20 minutes and he gets really shifty. Says he'll do it but doesn't answer the phone. Finally does it.

Fast forward a little bit. We see him and we joke with him, like, hey, you've been using that car for over a year, when are you giving it back? And he jokes and is like just let me know when you need it back and it's yours. We don't see him for a while and then run into him. He and Tyen hang out for a while and Tyen's getting increasingly more stern about needing the car back, they joke. Whatever.

Fast forward a little more. Boom. I'm prego. We have a car to use, but it's actually my moms. So my mom is like, "yo, get your car back Dan. you're adults now.". This is when I start trying to get in touch with this huge fucking loser. He sends me on huge loops, he'll call me back, he's getting a new car, he has a new car and he's not using our car, etc. So many lies I don't think he's even realized what he's told me.

Then nothing. His phone number is changed. We're so annoyed. We stalk his facebook page and it seems like he's been out of the country or some shit and Tyen realizes Loser has sold the car. Tyen has the title, but Loser found some schmuck like Onoes on CL and sold him a titileless car. I suggest we report the car stolen. Big Tyen doesn't want to.

We actually cut it off as a loss and move on. 2 weeks later, not kidding, we run into him outside of our apartment DRIVING THE CAR. We wave him in, he parks the wrong way on a one way street like a complete idiot and comes in. I thank him for bringing the car back and I'm already emailing the building about needing a second parking space. He corrects me and says he is not bringing the car back, he was just here and saw Dan. So incredibly annoyed and pregnant. He's lucky I didn't rip his head off. Dan confronts him about the number being turned off and Loser has some Loser reason why and gives Dan his new number. Dan calls the number to give Loser his number and Losers phone DOESN'T RING. Then oh, "ooops" that's not the right number. Tyen gets the real number. We told him we're calling him tomorrow about getting the car back and to make plans to not have the car anymore.

We call the next day and the phone number has been cancelled. So a couple months later we have the second baby, we actually had an apartment fire in between so focus was lost. Then we seriously need another car. We have two kids. I message his friend (a mutual FB friend) and tell him I need losers phone number because the games have been played, were done, we just need the car back. Losers friend messages back and says that loser told him not to give us his phone number and that he doesn't want to get in the middle.

TL;DR this is where it gets good:

I do some serious investigating and find his phone number for his second job where he works as a maid. I leave many voicemails all saying the same thing, give the car back or were reporting it as stolen. Never hear back. Message the friend and say, "Hey if he's your friend you should probably tell him that if we don't hear from him by the end of the week, were reporting the car as stolen and he'd be arrested. I've already talked to an officer". No response.

Call his current job that I've called before but the guy doesn't have a work line and the operators can't give me his phone number if I don't work there. I tell them to give this loser a message and say that it's an emergency, call me or tyen and either --- or --- number. FINALLY HEAR BACK. He calls me the next morning from some random number and talks to me. He says his "old boss" called him about the emergency but loser doesn't work at this job he was hooked up with years ago. Then he goes on and says the car was totaled months ago. 5 months ago (when baby 2 was born) he took it in because it was having troubles. He was told it was transmission issues, but no big deal and he could keep driving it. Then then a month later he was driving down the highway and it broke down. He had it towed to his apartment building and it's sitting there, but it's not driveable. I'm like, wow loser, that is really fucked up that you didn't tell us this. We have to come up with something that is fair for all of us. You can't do this and walk away. You stole the car and this is bullshit. He says we can come look at the car but it's going to cost $1500 more than the car is worth to fix it. I know nothing about cars. I say okay, I'll talk to tyen and we'll get back to you, but you need to pay for this. That's when loser freaks out and says that he was given the car (we both know this is bullshit), he offered to pay for the car (more bullshit) and that he could give us a "couple" hundred dollars but that he didn't have any money. I got his number and hung up the phone. This is when I realize we're fucked. Req offered to let this guy use Tyen's car, we have the title but legally it's going to go to shit. We let him use the car, he says we gave him the car, the car died. End of story.

I tell Tyen what's up and he says he thinks this guy is lying. I think that is absolutely ridiculous because this guy probably didn't take care of the car and he was probably just too big of a loser to call us and fess up. He tells me to call the loser back up and say we'll come "check out the car". Call him back, goes to voicemail. A voicemail from some obviously old asian woman. So pissed. A fake number AGAIN! Call the number he called from and it rang forever and didn't pick up.

Talk to 2 of my bffs husbands (lawyers) and they tell me to file small claim. Max we could get is $2,000 but he had unauthorized use of the vehicle and we could even press charges. At this point $2,000 is more than we're going to get otherwise so I'm like okay, whatevs. Start to file the papers when I think that I'll google the number he called me from. THE IDIOT CALLED ME FROM THE WORK HE "NO LONGER WORKS AT". Smoke is coming out of my ears. Tyen was right. So I pause the papers, call my mom, leave the kids at home and go to this loser ass bitches work. My mom and I cruise the (huge) parking lot and guess what-- find the car. We don't have a spare key. One of the 1.000 things I would fix of this situation in hindsight. While we were driving around the parking lot and when we found the car I was literally shaking. So much rage and adrenaline built up for years. Once we find it my mom, who had let us use a car of hers for years, was equally pissed the fuck off. The car wasn't totaled. This guy is totaled. A totaled fucking loser. We call 911 tell them we have the papers, etc. all we want is an officer to come in with us to his work while we ask for the keys back. He's starting to tell me that legally I have to ask for the keys back first then he can come if the guy refuses to-- OH BUT WAIT. Loser is getting into our car. OMG. My whole body is shaking, he backs up, and sees me. Then I wave at him and my stand in front of the car, my mom comes and stands where I am and I go to the window, "I have an officer on the phone. We need the key now or he is coming."

This guy acts like it's no big deal. He got the car fixed for me last night because he wanted to keep things cool between us. Like I'm some fucking idiot. The furry. His coworkers come over, he gets embarrassed. I still have the officer on the phone. He's getting all his crap out of the car. I have the keys and he asks my mom to drive him to his house. Omg. It was so funny. My mom is a bit of a hard ass b anyway, but she was like no fucking way. I am not letting you in my car. Afterwards I was like he probably thinks your a racist. We laughed. She said he could sue her. Ha.

He still had all his maid stuff in the trunk of the car and he wanted us to drop it off at his house, we were like, okay whats your address, he "wasn't comfortable" giving it to us. Just a complete idiot. We left him in the parking lot of his work twiddling his thumbs feeling sorry for himself. When we drive away he asks for my number so he can call me to pick up his stuff. I told him Ive given him my number 1000 times. He texts me the next day to get his stuff and told me to call him. I call him and thank him for finally giving me a real number. Tell him what a piece of shit he is. He comes and picks up his stuff.

Car goes in because the steering wheel fluid is obviously out. So are all of the other fluids. So we get it all fixed up, whatever. Talk to my gf's husband. He says to still sue him. This ass hat put 80,000 miles on the car and didn't take care of it. He's doing the work probono for us. He needs to hit a certain amount of hours/year for his firm anyway so he's happy to help. I'll update whoevers interested on what happens next. Basically he has 14 days to pay us or it goes to court. If he doesn't show we automatically win. We have the records of EVERYTHING and a corporate lawyer (fo free) so getting the 2,000 will be no problem. Then he has 14 days to pay it or we take him back to court and they garnish his wages.