Lets talk about our dads

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Ossoi

Ossoi

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my parents got divorced when I was 5-6 and my mum remarried pretty quickly and we moved four hours away. So I never really saw my dad much after that, occasionally birthdays of me or my sister but I really don't remember many visits from him.

Looking back, 4 hours isn't really that far to travel to see your kids but whatever.

After my mum died when I was 25, that could have been his opportunity to build a relationship but within 3 months I'd broke off contact with him.

I'd told him something in confidence and basically he approached my University and said I needed an intervention. I didn't, I was fine. He knew that by doing so I'd probably feel betrayed and break contact but he did it anyway.

Ten years ago my sister was pregnant and he asked to meet up, so we went for dinner. For some reason our main course was massively delayed, I was waiting for an apology and not putting any effort into small talk. In the end he asked for the food to be put into boxes so he could take it back to his hotel for his ex gf and my half sister.

I left and text him, that was a waste of time, and haven't spoke to him since

A few weeks ago he WhatsApp me a link to a Guardian article he was in, speaking about my grandfather.

Kinda weird to see the journalist responsible talking about him on Twitter as a "character"
 
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joz123

joz123

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My dad was a POS junkie that cheated on my mom and was stealing computers from his work to support his drug/alcohol habit.

My parents got divorced when I was little and my dad's side of the family disowned us. His family was rich and cut us off completely, even taking away our college fund and everything.

Just found out recently my dad died and I'm in hell trying to sort out any kind of money or belongings that me and my brother should be getting. Probate is delayed indefinitely "due to covid".
 
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Big Phoenix

Big Phoenix

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joz123 said:
My dad was a POS junkie that cheated on my mom and was stealing computers from his work to support his drug/alcohol habit.

My parents got divorced when I was little and my dad's side of the family disowned us. His family was rich and cut us off completely, even taking away our college fund and everything.

Just found out recently my dad died and I'm in hell trying to sort out any kind of money or belongings that me and my brother should be getting. Probate is delayed indefinitely "due to covid".
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Fun times. My father royally fucked over my grandfather and basically stole tens of thousands from him as grandfather was basically an invalid and my father had control over his finances.
 
Slaanesh69

Slaanesh69

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Big Phoenix said:
Fun times. My father royally fucked over my grandfather and basically stole tens of thousands from him as grandfather was basically an invalid and my father had control over his finances.
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I am currently unemployed in a flagging industry more and more taken over by young, know-nothing idjits. I was lucky that I saved a bunch of money over the last 5 years predicting an industry lag may happen.

And I learned my frugal nature straight from my Dad (he was, realistically, a cheap cunt - lol - but I took the frugal out of that). My Dad was the kind of guy that would say "Man, my favorite meat is lamb, but it is so expensive I only eat it once every couple of years". After semi-retirement he also insisted in getting paid under-the-table and hid money in coffee cans in a locked beer fridge in his basement. When my sister got married he opened a can of coffee and gave her several thousand in fragrant bills bahahahaha.

True story - my Dad's house got broken into by a couple of crackheads who took some miscellaneous shit but never thought to pry into the beer fridge.

Anyway, when Dad died at the end of 2020, my sister (bless her heart) managed the bulk of the estate and we ended up with a modest inheritance. I had expected the Old Man to give it all to my sister (and, frankly, deservedly so) due to our rocky relationship and the fact that I moved across the country and my sister was always there, but goddamn if the man didn't split it all evenly.

So I am a little more comfortable in my current state of temporary unemployment, thanks in part to generosity from my Dad.

Happy Father's Day everyone!!!!!
 
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Hosix

Hosix

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Happy Father’s Day gentlemen.

My dad is 70 and is a retired carpenter out of Chicago. He was drafted into Vietnam and was a airborne ranger. I never believed his war stories until I met some guys from his unit. Yup they were true.

My dad taught me to fish, start a fire, hit a nail straight, measure twice, swear words are helping verbs, hard work, fuck what other people think, how to change oil/tire and how to cut grass that doesn’t look like dog shit.

But growing up my father was a raging alcoholic. In the 80’s he had a mountain of DUI’s cause then it was just a traffic ticket. He managed to get cleaned up around when I started college.
 
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Gankak

Gankak

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My father was a good man. Served 25ish in the Air Force retiring an E-7. He died in 2015. His wife woke up and found him dead on the floor. They were supposed to go to the doctors that day to get a lump in his lung checked out(hi to you 2 pack a day smoker all his life).

We weren't close when I was a child but it improved significantly when I turned 16 and got my first job. We were close after that. There isn't a day that goes by I don't miss him and days like today make it worse.
 
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Guurn

Guurn

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Chukzombi said:
just feel blessed that your kids have some kind of grandparents. i came from a very old family. all my grandparents and most of my aunts and uncles were all dead by the time i reached 19. most of them were born in the late 1800s/early 1900s
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This is similar to my family.

My dad was born in 1920 in a town of 50. There were 7 kids in his family and his dad was a classic drinker. He would start something, like a farm or a grocery store, and start drinking once it was going and it would slowly fail. My dad was the classic child of an alcoholic as were most of his siblings. I could go on and on about his siblings. He lost one brother in WWII. My dad was in intelligence, interviewing many big name guys during and after the war.

After the war he got a degree in bacteriology, worked for McKesson and when he hit 36 he started law school. He also got married that year.

To this day he it's the least bigoted, least racist person I've ever met. He had gifts. For instance, he taught himself to speed read and he had a photographic memory. His one failing was assuming everyone was like him. I remember my sister coming home from college and as a present for him she had memorized 17 stanzas of a Chaucer poem. After she finished he did the next 10 from memory. He had read it once in college.

When people talk about the greatest generation I always think of the circumstances of his life. Born in a house without electricity or running water, seeing cars become increasingly common, getting and jumping at a chance for college and watching the growth of this country. Last but not least, having true old timers around as he grew up.

He was kind and hard working to a fault and I miss him every day. He died 18 years ago.
 
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lurkingdirk

lurkingdirk

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My father was an absolute bastard to his children. It was miserable, and often painful. He was an angry, hurtful man. I don't know what happened, but once he hit about 55 he must have had some breakthrough in therapy or something. He turned into the most gentle, caring, loving person. My mom got sick with cancer when my dad was about 65, and he turned into the kind of spouse I hope to someday be. He dropped everything, managed finances, did things he had never done before (cook, clean, all the house stuff), and he did it joyfully until my mother was healthy. And then kept doing it. He was amazing with his grandkids, and I would trust him now completely with my kids.

It's amazing how much change can happen in a person. There was a period of nearly 5 years where I didn't speak to my father. He came to me with an apology, not an explanation or a request for forgiveness, just a genuine apology for who he was when I was young. That was the start that brought about a very good relationship.

Today it is painful for me to be without him, and to know my kids never got to know him well enough.
 
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Izo

Izo

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I read all your posts in Winters voice. Thank you for the feels.
 
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Fogel

Fogel

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My parents split when I was 15. That's when I found out my father was cheating off and on for lord knows how long. My opinion of him then instantly soured knowing how much time and money he spent on his side pieces instead of his family. He even had an apartment in the next town over. We weren't poor, but it pisses me off because I saw how much my mother struggled to make ends meet, clipping coupons and chasing sales all day to keep us clothed and decently fed while he had holes in all his pockets for booze and women. We also never got to go on any cool trips, parks, movies, etc. After that I never really reached out to him and he never reached out to me and thats fine by me as far as I'm concerned.
 
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Cutlery

Cutlery

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My dad is one of the hardest working motherfuckers I've ever known in my life. He worked 60 hours a week growing up as an airplane mechanic, then came home and built 2 airplanes in the garage while I was a kid. Master tradesman, he did absolutely everything. At no point was there ever a repairman in my house, for anything. He did tile, plumbing, laid carpet, hung sheetrock, welded, pulled the engine out of his car and rebuilt it, and was a master woodworker. He's also one of the best marksmen I've ever met, and there were about 2 deer hunting seasons growing up where he didn't have all our tags filled by noon on the first Saturday. Funny thing is, he never practiced either. Pulled the rifle out 2 weeks before hunting season, checked to make sure it was sighted in, and cleaned it and put it away on closing day, never to be touched again for 11 months.

The problem is...he is an absolutely insufferable, abusive prick. Kicked me out on father's day when I was 17 because I wouldn't cut my hair. Cops brought me back home a few days later. I moved out the day I turned 18, and worked full time while finishing my senior year of high school. The rest of my extended family kept telling me that time heals all wounds and I should give him a chance and he'd probably be happy to see me. I stopped over to drop off my graduation tickets and his only words to me were "How dare you show your face around here." His mother chewed his ass hard for not going to my graduation, but he didn't give a shit.

Things mellowed out for a little while and settled into Christmas and Easter type of relationship, being halfway civil for a few years. Then one day my youngest sister (still living at home, but 19) called them up and said "Hey, I'm spending the night at Mike's house."

"Uhh, no you're not."
"yeah, I am. I am letting you know so you don't worry about me."
"well if you're gonna do that, then you can just stay out."

She showed up at my door, and ended up living with me for almost 2 years while she finished college. I haven't talked to either of my parents since. That was 10 years ago, my youngest daughter turns 10 in a couple months here, and has never seen her grandparents. Well, i take that back - she met my mom the day my grandmother died last year, although I'm not sure she knew who it was. The last interaction I heard about between my sister and parents was my mom calling up my sister and saying "How much do you have left on your student loans?" She told her, and then got a "Okay, well, we're redoing our will, so we'll leave you that much, your brother is out, and the rest goes to your sister." I don't even know what kind of parents have nothing better to do than sit around all day thinking of ways to fuck with their kids, but that's where we're at. My sister got married a couple years ago, and my parents weren't invited. "Dad shits on my house, shits on my job, shits on my dog, he's not shitting on my husband." He's never met my brother-in-law either.

I turn 42 this year, my dad turns 64. There's so much knowledge I would love to be able to tap from my dad, but it's just not worth the fucking effort and all the bullshit that comes from it. I'm now older than my father was when I moved out. So many lessons I've had to learn myself, so many things I could be so much better at if my dad wasn't a gigantic, self serving fucking asshole.

I get 3 days off of work if a parent dies, but I have to go to the funeral. I've often wondered if I would bother taking the time off.
 
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Fucker

Fucker

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Cutlery said:
I get 3 days off of work if a parent dies, but I have to go to the funeral. I've often wondered if I would bother taking the time off.
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Nope. People never change. People who are forgotten are best left that way. Dying alone is something a lot of people deserve.
 
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Izo

Izo

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Gavinmad said:
Funerals are about the living, not the dead.
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Furry

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Fucker said:
Nope. People never change. People who are forgotten are best left that way. Dying alone is something a lot of people deserve.
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I've known people who never changed a lick in their life, and those who have completely turned from one creature into another. If you don't see that, it might be that you're the one that doesn't change.
 
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Voyce

Voyce

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My Father's Dad died in the Summer of 2019, my Father died in October of 2019.

He was sacrificial to the core, and cared more for his family than himself, and suffered greatly for it. He allowed a boomer era wife raised on female empowerment trash to suck the life out of him, and created a sociopathic elder son that sucked the life out of the both of them as a result. Ultimately he let himself go, and he allowed his wife to work which she was miserable doing, and Simped out hard when she tried to leave, instead of kicking her out on her ass. They both worked too much, earned plenty, and pissed most of it away on trivial garbage. They allowed the convenience of the modern age to turn them into potatoes, and the talking heads on the TV to dictate their opinion.

My Dad died by himself probably 2-4 days before we found him, because despite being married his wife bought a Condo that she lived in separately. It was his concerned coworker that contacted me because he hadn't come into work, and the worthless cunt hadn't seen him since Sunday, but didn't fucking do an ounce to check in on him, or ask any of her sons, to check on him, which we'd last done at the end of the Week before. I don't blame her for not loving him, I blame her for not divorcing him 40 years ago and giving him his freedom. I blame the so called Greatest Generation too, how could they call themselves that if they created such weak children?
 
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Furry

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My grandpa went in for a surgery, so I had to call him up on father's day to check in on him. He's pushing 90 and has been a raging alcoholic/womanizer most of his life, so god only know how he's alive and functional.

Me: Hey grandpa, how did the surgery go.
GP: Oh, I think good. You should see the nurse they have. She's got a nice rack.

Me, while obviously hearing what is probably a nurse in the bg: Oh that's great grandpa, did your surgery go well? Did you speak to the doctor?
GP: If I were twenty years younger I think I'd have a chance. There's this other nurse earlier in the day that was really cute.

Me, desperately: Was the doctor female?
GP: Female doctor?

.....
.....

I didn't get one word out of him about how he felt or was doing past the I think good, but I feel like I can visualize the nurses now. Plane ticket scheduled.
 
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