Make Up Your Own Movie Tie-Ins

Doing a lazy one before someone else does.





Great topic, going to ponder this one today.

Joe Turner, after giving classified information to news outlets, disappears. Many years later, he is discovered by NSA officers under the alias Martin Bishop.

Stanley Spadowski was just a regular abnormal janitor when he stumbled into hosting his own kids show on a local access TV station currently owned by the then unknown talent of George Newman, later to be known as Weird Al Yankovich. The show was a major success, but after years of non stop production, Stanley succumbed to the rigors of the lime light and began engaging in heavy recreational drug use. Soon after this began, Stanley went missing for four months.

During this time an unsuccessful string of guest hosts were used to try and keep the show going. Admittedly most of the guests were not obvious choices for kids programming and included hosts such as stand up comic Sam Kinison, punk rock musician GG Allin and probably the most questionable choice of all, Paul Reubens. Stanley was finally located, after reports of a large hairy creature that smelled like garbage and made bizarre clicking noises surfaced near a wooded rest area, located on the Taconic Parkway in New York State.

Stanely was incoherent and seemed to only be able speak with a near paralyzing stutter, rendering speech ineffective. Stanley appeared to be attempting to communicate with sign language, but non of the interpreters could understand what he was saying. After three weeks in the hospital with no sign of improvement, it was decided to commit Stanley to the care of the mental health professionals at the Breezewood Psychiatric Center. Here Stanely spent the next 9 years recovering from his ordeal, until one day he simply walked out of the front door wearing nothing but an examination gown. The staff failed to located Mr. Spadowski and no body was ever recovered matching his description.

No one knows exactly what happened to Stanley Spadowski, but it seems a very strange coincidence occurred. The same day Stanely went missing for the second time, a man, who shares a striking resemblance to the missing child entertainer, was taken in by a couple who lived in Manhattan. The couple had been incapable of having children, and this man had no recollection of his parents. So the couple unofficially adopted the man as their adult son who told them that his name was... Cosmo Kramer.

Natalie Portman dressed as a hooker goes up to a thug standing outside a building in Moscow and in Russian asks to bum a cigarette, the scene cuts away to Natalie Mixing different chemicals and soldering something, the scene cuts back to Natalie and the thug and he says in Russian " This is the third night in a row you bum from me" and grabs her ass she replies "tomorrow I will bring you a whole carton." The next night she gives the thug the carton of smokes he goes inside to his boss on the 7th floor then boom! Then her cell rings someone with a thick accent offers her a job and she says " no women no children, these are the rules."

Angelina Jolie jumps from a helicopter over the Potomac River, and is last seen running wet through the woods, next scene she is sitting with her husband John Smith in marriage counseling, after which the typical: I am an Assassin, your an Assassin, antics take place...eventually she leaves John Smith (Brad Pitt) to assume her true identity as Fox and joins Sloan ( Morgan Freeman ) her boss, to help train Wesley in the ways of "The Fraternity"

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Not Really a tie-in....but Alice Eve's character Molly in "Shes out of My League" is last seen flying of with "Kirk", only to show up again flying aboard the Enterprise with "Kirk"

Alice awakens at the Raccoon City Hospital strapped to an examination table, with no memory of what happened since her capture. After escaping, she goes outside to find Raccoon City abandoned. A newspaper clipping shows that the T-virus spread to the surface after Umbrella reopened the Hive, creating an army of undead that devastated the city. Alice arms herself with a shotgun from an abandoned police car.
T-VIRUS = HEMOPHAGES
Ultraviolet takes place in 2078, in the years following a global epidemic that causes vampire-like symptoms, including super-human strength and elongated canines.Having been infected a decade earlier, Violet Song Jat Shariff (Milla Jovovich) has become a member of an underground resistance fighting to protect the hemophages from the government