- 235
- 265
I feel your pain here pal, delusional bints will always be delusional. As soon as I got back what I was owed I blocked my ex's number and fb etc and it felt pretty good.
Marriage and the Power of Divorce
- Thread starter Grumpus
- Start date
-
Guest, it's time once again for the massively important and exciting FoH Asshat Tournament!
Go here and give us your nominations!Who's been the biggest Asshat in the last year? Give us your worst ones!
I feel your pain here pal, delusional bints will always be delusional. As soon as I got back what I was owed I blocked my ex's number and fb etc and it felt pretty good.
A5150Ylee
Ahn'Qiraj Raider
- 1,918
- 6,715
Dealing with the Ex or their family is always a pain in the ass. If there are no kids, you are better off severing those ties ASAP, and making it clear you are not doing favors. Favors are a benefit of being in a relationship, and not a burden of a previous relationship. Also, I would have all the requests come through the Ex and not the family. It makes it more painful for them to push those buttons if they have to do it themselves, so they are more likely to stop.
Just UPS her the laptop. It's worth the $10 not to have to take 30 minutes out of your day to have an interaction with her brother. Better yet, make sure she knows she gets 1 last package in the mail for anything else she thinks she left behind, so she needs to be sure to list everything, and then walk away from anything she 'forgot'. My Ex tried to make me meet her several times for bullshit reasons. First two times, she stood me up and I'm sure it was just some big joke to her wasting my time and making me jump through hoops. When I realized I was still behaving like her trained poodle, I grew a pair and started doing things my way.
The last box of her stuff she demanded from me was some old cassettes. I refused to meet her at the location she wanted, but told her I would leave the box outside my front door and she could pick it up herself. I also said that if the box was still there the next morning, I would assume she didn't want it and she would have to dig through the trash for it if she changed her mind.
At some point you need to tell them they can just fuck all the way off, and never respond to them again. Honestly her still treating me like shit after the divorce was the best thing to help me wake up, be a man, and move on.
- 3
Big Phoenix
Pronouns: zie/zhem/zer
- 47,250
- 101,455
Yeah these laptops are the last loose ends of our relationship. Once these are back to her Ill never have a reason to speak to her agian.
Her saying "I should be uspet not you" really did make me want to just go off on her. Just let her know how unbelievably fucked up and cruel she was and call her all the names Ive wanted to. But I bit my tongue.
- 3
- 1
Mrs. Gravy
Quite Saucy
- 1,699
- 2,240
Do any of you men (both single guys and married guys) have close non gay platonic female friends?
I have always enjoyed the friendship of men and women both. Some wives get it and are cool with it as I usually want to be friends with them too and most are confident enough in themselves and their marriage to understand I am not a threat... but there is one who is batshit crazy and accused her husband of dating me and then proceeded to threaten him and me.
Um, what? 1. I am dating, Steady almost 10 months now, 9 of those in exclusivity. 2. I have a pretty strong track record of fidelity. 3. He is married and my friend...not my lover, not now, not interested. 4. The last time I saw him was at a group event over a month ago BUT we do talk or text often. 5. I have encouraged them to get counseling about 100 times, and gave him a list of some very good and objective ones...they finally are.. I told him their situation may get worse before it gets better because counseling can force people to face uncomfortable things...it apparently has...she is much angrier and blaming him and everyone else for her unhappiness...btw I know this because he screenshot the rant to me. 6. I am sad because I am cutting off contact with him and he could use a sane woman's perspective at this time plus hr has offered good male advice to me... but I think the less contact he has with me the better for both of us. I told him to call the counselor.
Truly, it is likely she will just shift her animosity onto the next unsuspecting victim, he has a lot of friends who are women..and several single ones.. but it's his bed and at least he knows now what her crazy looks like.
TLDR...in some cases men and women can't be besties... This may effectively end a long term friendship and it just sucks.
I have always enjoyed the friendship of men and women both. Some wives get it and are cool with it as I usually want to be friends with them too and most are confident enough in themselves and their marriage to understand I am not a threat... but there is one who is batshit crazy and accused her husband of dating me and then proceeded to threaten him and me.
Um, what? 1. I am dating, Steady almost 10 months now, 9 of those in exclusivity. 2. I have a pretty strong track record of fidelity. 3. He is married and my friend...not my lover, not now, not interested. 4. The last time I saw him was at a group event over a month ago BUT we do talk or text often. 5. I have encouraged them to get counseling about 100 times, and gave him a list of some very good and objective ones...they finally are.. I told him their situation may get worse before it gets better because counseling can force people to face uncomfortable things...it apparently has...she is much angrier and blaming him and everyone else for her unhappiness...btw I know this because he screenshot the rant to me. 6. I am sad because I am cutting off contact with him and he could use a sane woman's perspective at this time plus hr has offered good male advice to me... but I think the less contact he has with me the better for both of us. I told him to call the counselor.
Truly, it is likely she will just shift her animosity onto the next unsuspecting victim, he has a lot of friends who are women..and several single ones.. but it's his bed and at least he knows now what her crazy looks like.
TLDR...in some cases men and women can't be besties... This may effectively end a long term friendship and it just sucks.
- 17,084
- 8,087
Heterosexual men are rarely friends with ugos. Now, that's not saying much because men want to fuck most women. But attractiveness IS a criteria when determining friendship, even if nothing will absolutely ever come of it.
You know this, your friend knows this, your friend's wife knows this. Tell her to stop projecting and solve their problems. Ending your friendship won't save their marriage.
You know this, your friend knows this, your friend's wife knows this. Tell her to stop projecting and solve their problems. Ending your friendship won't save their marriage.
- 1
Mrs. Gravy
Quite Saucy
- 1,699
- 2,240
I agree with you...except for telling her...did you miss the batshit crazy part? I don't state that lightly, seriously she exhibits major untreated mental illness...which she denies having...a combo of bi-polar and npd. She is all kind of fun.
I do appreciate the insight though and will place the friendship on simmer until they get a better handle on things...so glad I am just the outside target and not in either one of their pairs of shoes. Who wants to be that fekkin miserable?!
I am very good friends with many of my wife’s female friends to the point she is slightly jealous at times. I am very comfortable around them and my wife doesn’t understand it at all. I will openly tell them to bring a bikini over for hot tub time in our bath tub and they will just giggle about it. Their husbands just laugh along with me. I truly don’t know how I get away with it.
The one rule that I do have is that I try to avoid ever actually being alone with any woman not my wife. She knows all my email and social media passwords in case she has to use them to unlock something or log on to Spotify etc.
She doesn’t chat up any men that I know of but I would give her the same trust she has given me.
We are not like most couples though. Not in the slightest and I cherish that greatly.
- 17,084
- 8,087
Well, I meant tell him to tell her, and hopefully he's not stupid enough to say where the suggestion came from. Find some way to get them to focus on their own problems without it seeming like it was your idea. Much easier said than done. I don't blame you for backing off in the mean time.
- 1
Hoss
Make America's Team Great Again
- 27,962
- 16,616
lol no. Not unless you count. The only platonic female friends I have ever had were women I work with. Even that wasn't purely platonic because I would have tried to fuck pretty much any of them if not for my strict no-shitting-where-you-eat rule.
- 2
Khane
Got something right about marriage
- 20,764
- 14,534
What exactly are you "getting away with" here? This sounds like the type of thing a kid in high school might brag about. Not a man your age.
- 1
Big Phoenix
Pronouns: zie/zhem/zer
- 47,250
- 101,455
I am of the opinion that men and women simply cant be actual friends. Chit chat over text or plan group activities together? Sure. One on one evenings together? Not happening.
No non crazy woman would be okay with their man going out to get a bite to eat and a movie with just another woman.
- 2
- 1
I don’t know that I am getting away with anything. I am saying that I chat and text with other people’s wives as if they were one of the dudes and my wife doesn’t get jealous and the other husbands tell me that normally they would beat the shit out of another dude that did that. My only point is you can be friends with the opposite gender and them be married without tiptoeing.What exactly are you "getting away with" here? This sounds like the type of thing a kid in high school might brag about. Not a man your age.
I don’t know how to write the other sentence out in a way that you can understand it if you can’t already. I don’t hang out alone with any woman, it’s not a hard concept. Do you not know the definition of woman, alone, or wife in that sentence?
- 1
Noodleface
A Mod Real Quick
- 38,511
- 16,492
Xequecal
Trump's Staff
- 11,559
- -2,388
I don't know why wanting to fuck someone, hypothetically, completely bars you from being friends with that person. Can bisexual people not have friends at all?
Saying you can't be friends with a woman because you would fuck her if given the opportunity and that bitterness or jealousy over this will inevitably ruin the friendship is like saying you can't be friends with a rich guy because you would accept expensive gifts if offered and bitterness and jealousy over money will inevitably ruin the friendship.
- 1
- 49,644
- 237,784
I am close friends with many women and men. And how hot they are has no impact on the friendship or the likelihood to develop a friendship. And I'm always very open with my wife about all my relationships, and, like a_skeleton_03, she has all the access she wants to all my communication devices. She never looks, but just the fact that she could any time she wants to helps create trust and avoids petty arguments.
Additionally, I also understand what a_skeleton_03 means by not being alone with a woman other than your wife. There are situations where it can't be avoided - one of the offices I work in I work closely with a woman, and there are several hours every week where we are alone in the building. But I don't go get coffee with her, or any other woman, unless my wife is along. I'm not making social calls with women on my own. It's a good policy.
Additionally, I also understand what a_skeleton_03 means by not being alone with a woman other than your wife. There are situations where it can't be avoided - one of the offices I work in I work closely with a woman, and there are several hours every week where we are alone in the building. But I don't go get coffee with her, or any other woman, unless my wife is along. I'm not making social calls with women on my own. It's a good policy.
- 1
Khane
Got something right about marriage
- 20,764
- 14,534
I get it. You guys are afraid you might go all Louis C.K. if left alone with a woman. Yea, better to just avoid them at all costs then.
- 4
Denamian
Night Janitor
- 7,589
- 21,006
Single guy here, only one woman who I would consider a close friend. She's the wife of a friend I've known since high school and I've known her for almost 15 years now.
We hang out together from time to time since we both enjoy drinking good beer while watching bad movies that her husband would never watch. The biggest problem it ever causes is he's sometimes unhappy if she gets especially drunk.
We hang out together from time to time since we both enjoy drinking good beer while watching bad movies that her husband would never watch. The biggest problem it ever causes is he's sometimes unhappy if she gets especially drunk.
Springbok
Karen
- 9,626
- 14,315
This is true. I've never been friends with a woman I inherently didn't want to sleep with. My wife knows this, because I tried to be her "friend" before I tricked her into sex (then a relationship. then marriage. now kids. fuck what have I done). Well, I befriended her and another South African girl (her best friend) to see which one would cave first. Turns out both did so I chose my wife and the rest is history.
Women who don't date pussies know this. All of them know this, so the idea that a mans wife would allow him to have "platonic" female friends is hilarious to me. It's simply biology here - if you're attracted to a person of the opposite sex, and spend time alone with them away from their partners, something will happen and it will go queer anyways so no point in worrying about it.
However, if the girl/guy in question were ugly as fuck I guess there is no big deal there? I don't know, I wouldn't befriend an ugly chick
Mrs. Gravy
Quite Saucy
- 1,699
- 2,240
It is mostly text chat and phone calls. He also, with her knowledge has been to my home to give me a bid on some work. We have had lunch out about 4 times in the past year and a ton of people know him and his wife and many know me...small town...it is not a secret we are friends. My new man is aware of the friendships I have and what I do...because I tell him. He probably would prefer I didn't tell him so much!
I have no clue if she can access his texts or email, I would guess, not, but that is their business, not mine. I have told him again to talk to his wife and their counselor. I am not abandoning the friendship but may have to limit it more. As his friend, if the counselor advises him to only have casual contact with me such as in our mutual circles/group meetings. I will adhere to that.
I am really lucky to have so many friends of all walks, in this world...and I talk, text or email often, except on days when I would rather punch people in the throat. Those days I keep myself at home and don't answer my phone except for my family. There is usually baking, bacon and bourbon on those days. That way, I keep the world safe from an irritated and prone to be mean and potentially violent Mrs. G.
Have I told you recently how wonderful you are?!
I have no clue if she can access his texts or email, I would guess, not, but that is their business, not mine. I have told him again to talk to his wife and their counselor. I am not abandoning the friendship but may have to limit it more. As his friend, if the counselor advises him to only have casual contact with me such as in our mutual circles/group meetings. I will adhere to that.
I am really lucky to have so many friends of all walks, in this world...and I talk, text or email often, except on days when I would rather punch people in the throat. Those days I keep myself at home and don't answer my phone except for my family. There is usually baking, bacon and bourbon on those days. That way, I keep the world safe from an irritated and prone to be mean and potentially violent Mrs. G.
Have I told you recently how wonderful you are?!