Marriage and the Power of Divorce

Talking about things you're unhappy with in life with friends and family is human nature and everyone does it. That's normal and actually healthy and therapeutic. That isn't an issue. What I take issue with is when a woman (or man) starts to berate and belittle their significant other publicly and starts to show a complete lack of respect for their partner. That's drama, and that's intolerable.

Honestly I've come to find that talking about the problems I'm having about my husband WITH my husband makes me happier a lot quicker. Yeah sounds cliche, but makes things a lot smoother for me. Only problem is sometimes you can let it build too much so I try not to let it get there.

Also we're both total loners who much rather talk to one another than others.

Tell me more of these dozens of chicks you've dated! You must be a 90 year old Don Juan!

Having lived in Canada (32 years), Israel (2 months), Spain (4 months), France (1 year), and the US (7 years) I can definitely tell you that while female drama is pretty much universal, it is by FAR the worst in the USA. The differentiating reasons to me have been pretty easy to discern:

1) Hollywood's glorification of the likes of Paris Hilton that show young girls that being vapid, brain dead, and hot is all you really need to succeed in life. Then throw in shit like Real Housewives that basically say "look hot and marry rich" is what you need to do to succeed.

2) The conflict between normal sexual desires and North American culture that dictates if a chick sleeps around she's a slut. This causes all sorts of gossiping drama, backstabbing, and feelings of sexual guilt. Chicks in Montreal (French ones), France, and Spain will just openly state they want to fuck you, and doing so doesn't incur judgment from their friends/family. The girls in Israel weren't as forward as the other countries, but expected very little courtship and would cut right through all the BS if they liked you. P.S: Don't break up with an Israeli girl to her face unless you like getting your ass kicked. Seriously.

3) North American double standard feminism: Somehow in North America we've reached a point where women have emancipated themselves from stereotypical roles/functions (like cooking, cleaning, sewing, etc) while retaining the "beneficial" pre-feminism traditions such as "man paying, flowers, holding door open, letting women off/on elevator first, man takes out trash, man fixes shit around house, etc). This has created a whole generation of spoiled entitled chicks.

4) There seems to be a high preponderance for gender based child activities in the US. The thought of sending my hypothetical daughter to do cheerleading after school rather than say, swimming, is absolutely horrifying to me. However from what I can tell most mom's here would be giddy with pride that their daughter made the cheer team..

5) Probably the biggest doozy is there are a LOT more unstable, poor, broken families here than in countries that have socialized education and healthcare. Less broken families= less daddy issues = less drama

This is NOT to say that there aren't lots of perfectly normal chicks in the US, but what really differentiates them vs other countries is that in the US, the hotter the chick is the crazier she seems to be. Women here are just basically trained from a young age that if you're hot, that's all you need to thrive.

3) North American double standard feminism: Somehow in North America we've reached a point where women have emancipated themselves from stereotypical roles/functions (like cooking, cleaning, sewing, etc) while retaining the "beneficial" pre-feminism traditions such as "man paying, flowers, holding door open, letting women off/on elevator first, man takes out trash, man fixes shit around house, etc). This has created a whole generation of spoiled entitled chicks.

This one bugs me the most. Reminds me of that comic about a girl asking a man to move a couch and him asking her to suck his dick since we're going back to gender stereotypes.

There's also the fact that the US isn't as culturally homogenous as most other countries, and the problems associated with that spill over into everything. For example, the female favored family court system sure looks unfair from our perspective, but that's looking at it from a culture where the man is actually expected to help raise the kid. The fact is, three-fourths of black kids and one-half of Hispanic kids are raised in single-parent households, because the man is simply not expected to help. He just fucks off and nobody cares, and the courts are the only thing around that are going to make him contribute.

#3 rustles the shit out of my jimmies.

Rhuobhe_sl said:

I think some of you are out of touch with the drama issue. It's unavoidable and there needs to be some tolerance on both sides. You really think your wife doesn't talk shit about you to her BFF - you talk like that is totally unacceptable and grounds for not being in a relationship. That type of mentality creates those old guys you know, the ones who were married 5 times and boast about how they have never conformed to anything.

Click to expand...

If this is in response to me, I may have poorly worded a point. When I say "slanders you to friends/family", I don't mean the one-on-one chat she has with a trusted friend or family member to get her head straight after an argument, or her occasionally telling her friends how frustrated she is with you not taking out the garbage. That's normal.

I mean when someone goes out of their way to start bad-mouthing their partner to any friend/family member that will listen and gets into some personal shit that is between the two of you. THAT is a big problem.

Breaching trust and physical violence are the Pandora's Box issues in a relationship.

Tarrant_sl said:

As a father who who has proven to the court not once, but twice that my childrens mother is unfit to raise them and being told children belong with the mother unless in physical danger from her I can fully attest to the system being unfairly geared to favor women.

Click to expand...

male or female judges?

Jesus Tarrant that's fucking depressing =/