Marriage and the Power of Divorce

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Commander Vimeseh_sl

shitlord
2,122
3
It will go to the judges. Don't budge an inch on the custody split, because as soon as you start backpedaling it won't stop. Also, try not to have conversations with any of her family members that doesn't pertain to anything outside of coordinating kids transportation. Anything you say will be used against you during the divorce proceedings.
 
Frenzied Wombat

Frenzied Wombat

Potato del Grande
14,730
31,803
Selix_sl said:
So.. update. Spouse moved out into her own apartment and is starting to have a hard time with the custody arrangement we worked out till the divorce hearing. She moved about half an hour away and is stressing about how she has to drive all the way to work then home after work then back to the kids private school then back home every day because it is up here and not near her. So she went to her parents who called me saying it's not fair and maybe I should give up my equal custody and instead give her the kids 5 days a week and let her pull the kids out of private school and put them into a daycare near her.

Because according to her parents it's theright thingto do and that's what the court would decide anyway.

She could have waited till she saved up money and could afford an apartment up here. Or moved in with her parents and saved up money. Or moved in with a friend from work up here. Or her boyfriend (which no one is supposed to know about). Instead she wanted out so bad SHE moved out of the house our kids spent the last 5.5 years in. All over a single verbal (non-physical, I've never laid hands on her) argument.

Yea.. I'm not giving up 50/50 for any reason. The kids private school is expensive but everyone who has interacted with our oldest daughter over the time since she started private school has remarked on just how beneficial it has been for her (including the spouse AND her parents). My youngest is set to start their in the fall. It's expensive but we researched a LOT of places and performed a LOT of interviews before settling on it and the area she is in now is statically ranked about 50% lower overall. Besides I haven't interviewed any places in that area nor am I interested in taking my kids out of a place which I already know works from the improvement in my oldest daughter.


Anyway needed to vent. This may go to the judges.
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Tell her to go fuck herself. Her contriving a custody grab based on where she chose to live, in tandem with a decision to reduce the quality of her children's education, reeks of childish entitlement. Hopefully the judge will see it the same way.
 
Selix

Selix

Lord Nagafen Raider
2,149
4
Commander Vimeseh_sl said:
It will go to the judges. Don't budge an inch on the custody split, because as soon as you start backpedaling it won't stop. Also, try not to have conversations with any of her family members that doesn't pertain to anything outside of coordinating kids transportation. Anything you say will be used against you during the divorce proceedings.
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Yea my father said the same thing. If she calls again I am to say "Thank you for calling but anything I have to discuss should occur between me and spouse. Goodbye."
 
A

a_skeleton_03

<Banned>
29,948
29,763
Selix_sl said:
Yea my father said the same thing. If she calls again I am to say "Thank you for calling but anything I have to discuss should occur between me and spouse. Goodbye."
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Yeah that is more patience than I have. My wife and I are happily married and if her parents even suggested to me that I wear pants to the next family event I would hang up on them and never speak to them again and show up without pants, drunk, just to be a dick. For the court case I suggest you not take my route but yeah don't talk to them more than enough to hang up without a total fight.
 
Mures

Mures

Blackwing Lair Raider
4,014
511
Selix_sl said:
So.. update. Spouse moved out into her own apartment and is starting to have a hard time with the custody arrangement we worked out till the divorce hearing. She moved about half an hour away and is stressing about how she has to drive all the way to work then home after work then back to the kids private school then back home every day because it is up here and not near her. So she went to her parents who called me saying it's not fair and maybe I should give up my equal custody and instead give her the kids 5 days a week and let her pull the kids out of private school and put them into a daycare near her.

Because according to her parents it's theright thingto do and that's what the court would decide anyway.

She could have waited till she saved up money and could afford an apartment up here. Or started receiving child support and found a place up here. Or moved in with her parents and saved up money. Or moved in with a friend from work up here. Or her boyfriend (which no one is supposed to know about). Instead she wanted out so bad SHE moved out of the house our kids spent the last 5.5 years in. All over a single verbal (non-physical, I've never laid hands on her) argument.

Yea.. I'm not giving up 50/50 for any reason. The kids private school is expensive but everyone who has interacted with our oldest daughter over the time since she started private school has remarked on just how beneficial it has been for her (including the spouse AND her parents). And it is accredited with licensed teachers and progress tests to focus on each child's weakest areas. Oh and it's safe. My youngest is set to start their in the fall. It's expensive but we researched a LOT of places and performed a LOT of interviews before settling on it and the area my spouse is in now is statically ranked about 50% lower overall. Besides I haven't interviewed any places in that area nor am I interested in taking my kids out of a place which I already know works from the improvement in my oldest daughter. Nevermind that the school system is an automatic never going to happen when the area I live in is significantly better for education.


Anyway needed to vent. This may go to the judges.
Click to expand...
I'm guessing her parents never divorced and she was in a stable home all her life because what kind of a fucking bitch do you have to be to yank your kids out of school because you have to drive 30 fucking minutes and not realize how much that'll fuck them up.
 
Cud

Cud

Lord Nagafen Raider
60
5
Selix_sl said:
So.. update. Spouse moved out into her own apartment and is starting to have a hard time with the custody arrangement we worked out till the divorce hearing. She moved about half an hour away and is stressing about how she has to drive all the way to work then home after work then back to the kids private school then back home every day because it is up here and not near her. So she went to her parents who called me saying it's not fair and maybe I should give up my equal custody and instead give her the kids 5 days a week and let her pull the kids out of private school and put them into a daycare near her.

Because according to her parents it's theright thingto do and that's what the court would decide anyway.

She could have waited till she saved up money and could afford an apartment up here. Or started receiving child support and found a place up here. Or moved in with her parents and saved up money. Or moved in with a friend from work up here. Or her boyfriend (which no one is supposed to know about). Instead she wanted out so bad SHE moved out of the house our kids spent the last 5.5 years in. All over a single verbal (non-physical, I've never laid hands on her) argument.

Yea.. I'm not giving up 50/50 for any reason. The kids private school is expensive but everyone who has interacted with our oldest daughter over the time since she started private school has remarked on just how beneficial it has been for her (including the spouse AND her parents). And it is accredited with licensed teachers and progress tests to focus on each child's weakest areas. Oh and it's safe. My youngest is set to start their in the fall. It's expensive but we researched a LOT of places and performed a LOT of interviews before settling on it and the area my spouse is in now is statically ranked about 50% lower overall. Besides I haven't interviewed any places in that area nor am I interested in taking my kids out of a place which I already know works from the improvement in my oldest daughter. Nevermind that the school system is an automatic never going to happen when the area I live in is significantly better for education.


Anyway needed to vent. This may go to the judges.
Click to expand...
I am not a lawyer. In my case the courts are very specific as to want to keep the children s environment as stable as possible. So she moved away, the right thing to do is to give you full custody and let her have visitation. You are in the house that the kids call home.
 
Nester

Nester

Vyemm Raider
4,978
3,183
Crimsonsin

Your not giving us enough to work to give you valuable internet stranger advice. I asked you about 5 questions, you provided a single sentence in return. Is this your standard level of communication, if so you should know it causes a bit of frustration.

When the other poster said the link was fake and you said it was not and posted another reddit link, are you insinuating the 2nd link (your link) is your wife? IIRC the first one (autism) was just a random link and a joke.

If so, it seems to me like she did not want you to leave, and honestly based on what you have posted here, I have no idea why you left? You then said you had to ?do me? but bro, sounds like you have been ?doing me? this whole time already (IE RP)

If she does not want you to leave and you are not sure that leaving is the right move, why did you leave in the first place?. IMO its irresponsible to just leave when you have kids involved and your not sure it?s the end. Its different if it is 100% over and your moving on, but I am not getting that vibe here.

You may notice Selix got a larger response than you did, this is because he provided more details on the situation.
 
Nester

Nester

Vyemm Raider
4,978
3,183
a_skeleton_03_sl said:
Yeah that is more patience than I have. My wife and I are happily married and if her parents even suggested to me that I wear pants to the next family event I would hang up on them and never speak to them again and show up without pants, drunk, just to be a dick. For the court case I suggest you not take my route but yeah don't talk to them more than enough to hang up without a total fight.
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How Christian of you. Why would you be a dick and in the process hurt you wife in response to a reasonable request?
 
Nester

Nester

Vyemm Raider
4,978
3,183
Selix_sl said:
So.. update. Spouse moved out into her own apartment and is starting to have a hard time with the custody arrangement we worked out till the divorce hearing. She moved about half an hour away and is stressing about how she has to drive all the way to work then home after work then back to the kids private school then back home every day because it is up here and not near her. So she went to her parents who called me saying it's not fair and maybe I should give up my equal custody and instead give her the kids 5 days a week and let her pull the kids out of private school and put them into a daycare near her.

Because according to her parents it's theright thingto do and that's what the court would decide anyway.

She could have waited till she saved up money and could afford an apartment up here. Or started receiving child support and found a place up here. Or moved in with her parents and saved up money. Or moved in with a friend from work up here. Or her boyfriend (which no one is supposed to know about). Instead she wanted out so bad SHE moved out of the house our kids spent the last 5.5 years in. All over a single verbal (non-physical, I've never laid hands on her) argument.

Yea.. I'm not giving up 50/50 for any reason. The kids private school is expensive but everyone who has interacted with our oldest daughter over the time since she started private school has remarked on just how beneficial it has been for her (including the spouse AND her parents). And it is accredited with licensed teachers and progress tests to focus on each child's weakest areas. Oh and it's safe. My youngest is set to start their in the fall. It's expensive but we researched a LOT of places and performed a LOT of interviews before settling on it and the area my spouse is in now is statically ranked about 50% lower overall. Besides I haven't interviewed any places in that area nor am I interested in taking my kids out of a place which I already know works from the improvement in my oldest daughter. Nevermind that the school system is an automatic never going to happen when the area I live in is significantly better for education.


Anyway needed to vent. This may go to the judges.
Click to expand...
Selix, sorry bro that sucks. You may want to ask her why she feels entitled to put her personal comfort over the well being and stability, education of your children. I would flip that so fast saying that 5 days with you is better for the children, it is their family home near their friends and school. That truly is the right thing to do (assuming you want that)

I doubt she left over a single argument (unless it was about cheating) normally that shit builds up for years.

It sounds like you have a good head on your shoulders, stand tall and stick to your guns. If the parents call you again, be as nice as possible while informing them this is between you and her and while you respect their position as grandparents of the children, they need to let the two of you sort this out.

Why are you not dropping the BF bomb?
 
A

a_skeleton_03

<Banned>
29,948
29,763
Nester_sl said:
How Christian of you. Why would you be a dick and in the process hurt you wife in response to a reasonable request?
Click to expand...
Because she hates them more than I do? Because we sat them down shortly after being married when they were over every other night and trying to give us advice on every single thing and couldn't detach the apron strings, we sat them down and said enough is enough. They need to realize we are adults and going to do what we want and make the mistakes we want and we will come to them if we feel like we need advice. It has been a nice truce ever since.

You need boundaries. It is very "Christian" of anyone to have well established boundaries.
 
Tuco

Tuco

I got Tuco'd!
<Gold Donor>
47,404
80,894
Bibilical justification for a_skeleton_03's idea: For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.
 
Sutekh

Sutekh

Blackwing Lair Raider
7,489
106
So bros, I've been thinking of flying to Switzerland to visit my ex, her and I still really close and good friends. Do you think her husband would be weirded out by that? He knows we still talk every day.
 
Noodleface

Noodleface

A Mod Real Quick
38,275
15,106
He's cool with you talking because there's half a world between you. He might not be so cool if youre landing in his pussy zone
 
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