Marriage and the Power of Divorce

My first wife hated video games and hated my playing them. It didn't matter if I was playing them even while she was at work, she hated anything and everything to do with World of Warcraft. She also hated D&D. About a year ago when my kids were visiting I took my son with me to a game and got him into D&D as well and she got super pissed off about it. I told her I didn't care, he loved it and as long as he did I would encourage him to play if he wanted.

Anyways, back to the first marriage...I didn't even play WoW much, I raided only after she was in bed but it didn't matter. I never understood it.

When I play games now I can go all day with her doing her own thing and me doing my own thing but as soon as I load a game up she senses it and wants me to do something, so I usually just play after she's in bed as well, which she's fine with. I still play D&D twice a month, which she sometimes doesn't like (most the time) but it's mainly because shes so introverted that she wants me to be too and she gets upset at times that I'm not. (which sounds weird to me, but whatever.)

So I still game quite a bit, just the hours altered to fit the life I have now.

Here's a question though, which I found weird when a friend was telling me about it. Does your wife expect you to go to bed at the same time she does? Mine thankfully doesn't but I have a friend who can be in the middle of something and his wife will be like "well, I'm going to bed" and she will expect him to do the same. Doesn't matter when it is, what he was doing and it doesn't even have anything to do with sex...he just has to go to bed too. That shit blew my mind.

My wife goes to bed at like 8 or 9pm so it's not an option with me, plus I enjoy the time to myself.

Cad_sl said:

Yea thats pretty unreasonable unless you get up at 3am...

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She gets up at 5/530, I get up at 630. My wife doesn't care if we go at the same time or not, my friends wife does. Like she will get all depressed about it and think he doesn't want to be around her so as a compromise he will go in the bedroom and lay down with her until she falls asleep, which can be upwards of 60-90 minutes. When he told me about it I was like "wtf?"

As for the dinner thing, I'm the one that cooks. I try to cook things we both like but shes so damn picky that sometimes I will just make whatever. If she doesn't like it she can make a frozen whatever or learn how to cook herself. (which we've discussed.)

HAve you asked her why she expects it? I mean, can't we pull the same card and say she should go to bed when we do? Or maybe I'll go to bed at 7pm, should I expect her to as well?

Call them out on it then, if they want to be treated as equals then they have to expect to actually get the same crap they give us. Like I said before, the wife and I don't go to bed at the same time, but the reasoning I hear for why other wives expect it to happen and it does blows my mind. I get if you are on he same schedule or whatever but if you're in themiddle of something and she comes in like your mother did as a child and tells you it's bedtime then...wtf, I just don't get it.

Khane_sl said:

I agree with you but it shouldn't really blow your mind. It's the mindset our culture enforces in women. Have you ever watched your kids' shows or movies with them? That shit gets hammered home from a very early age.

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Hmmm, I guess that makes sense in a way, I never thought about that. Still seems crazy to me to allow someone else dictate our bedtimes though when you're an adult.

I gotcha. I have a buddy whos wife will literally guilt trip him if he is busy with something and won't go to bed with her and he will then take 2 hours of his time to go lay down with her until she falls asleep and then be up till 1am finishing whatever project he was working on and then bitch about being tired the next day.

I told him what he does sounds like what I do with my kids when they can't fall asleep and he didn't appreciate the comparison. lol