Most screwed up thing your parent/bro/sis/gf/bf has told you?

I don't know. I would probably go with yes. I would imagine that is how most of this shit happens, older sibling or friend or whatever does something to a younger kid, kid never tells, years later kid is grown and slips off the pole at work, lifetime of injury and suffering follows.

What different categories of molestation do you imagine exist? I am just curious.

Pasteton_sl said:

How many of these molester grandpa stories are from trolls? Cuz if not that freaky shit that leaks out into the news every so often must be way more common than is generally known.

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I was having this exact same thought. I'm not really aware of anyone around me that's been raped or molested, but my wife told me recently that 2 of her aunts were saying their brothers (there are 10 total, 5 sisters, 5 brothers) pulled some shit when they were kids and made it sound like they either tried to or did do sexual things with the sisters. Which weirded me the fuck out because I've known them all for years now. Really makes you wonder who it's safe to leave your kids with. I mean, they're certainly off the list, fuck.

Statistics vary pretty widely. 15 out of 100 is a pretty common. 1 in 4 girls, 1 in 6 boys experience sexual molestation by the time they are 18. The problem is in estimating precisely how under reported it is. At least 3 million by age 13 is a relatively safe bet.

The issue, as you'll see if you Google it for articles, is that children are generally taught to be obedient and are not taught about sex. So they actually have no idea that what the adult is asking them to do is wrong or unusual. Sometimes it isn't till years after the abuse has stopped that they'll realize what really happened.

I could really contribute some pretty awful stories to this thread... human sexuality fascinates me and throughout my life most of my friends have been women, so this is the kind of thing I talk about a lot.

Here is one. Girl was living with parents and her maternal Grandmother. Maternal Grandmother has dementia and is also insane. Kidnaps the little girl, takes her to a motel, and sodomizes her with a coke bottle for several hours. Glass coke bottle. She was 6. Her Grandmother wasn't left alone with the kids after that and her Mother started drugging her food with aspirin (I know this makes no sense) and would then sneak into her room at night and whisper that "Nothing had happened. You're a happy little girl, nothing happened." Stuff like that. This went on till she was 8. Then her two oldest brothers started molesting her, Grandmother died, and the Mom just... gave up and let it happen.

Turns out, the Mom had been molested by the Grandmother growing up and had been forced to "make herself available" to her brothers, so she just... accepted it as a way of life. That was "normal" for her and I guess dealing with it would have forced her to deal with her own childhood issues. No one is sure if the Grandmother was also molested in a like fashion or if it started with her.

I've only known one person who was, that I know of, molested. Girl I dated years back was raped (I think repeatedly) by her older brother when she was younger. It definitely had a massive effect on her life, she has all sorts of weird hang ups about sex/men/family that I've never seen in anyone else, as well as, I'm fairly sure, borderline personality disorder or something along those lines. Severely emotionally unbalanced. It's a shame because she was a cool chick and a decent person otherwise, we're still in touch and she seems to be doing a bit better as she grows up, but obviously it still affects her in a big way. While obviously I was always aware of the kind of damage people like that suffer in an abstract way, it was meeting her that really drove the point home and made me particularly loath child abusers.

Drajakur_sl said:

I'm now the only one in my entire family tree with a PhD. So fuck them.

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Were you a quiet kid? My little brother didn't talk a lot when he was really young, so I assumed he was slow. But when he started talking more, it was obvious he was the smart one. And has a better work ethic. And that's why I drink.

Only broad I ever seriously dated was molested/raped, don't know circumstances (I didn't want to know and figured she'd have told me if she wanted) and I can back up a lot of what Azrayne said, a lot of hang ups early on with sex and the like. Cool as you please one minute and the next just flipping out. I think only child syndrome didn't help either. I'll save the rest of the shit for GWBYHT.

I'm big into my family genealogy and asked around about my Great Grandpa, was getting some weird avoiding answers and finally just straight up asked my Mom what was up. Turns out ol great grandpa was "overly friendly with his grand kids" (Mother's words), great grandpa had 9 daughters and one son, that son was my grandpa and he had 3 daughters. I asked no further questions.

Edit: Also hooked up with a one night stand who informed me she was diddled by her dad...yeah, it got pretty weird.

Large chunks of my family are pretty normal. Other than the gay raping uncle, no moleststion happened. My grandmother said she had an uncle that tried on her and her sisters but this guy was dead before I was born and it was stopped right then. I think families cover a lot up to avoid the light shining on them. I know an ex gf from HS was molested by her brother and it tore that family apart because, according to her dad, she didn't go through proper channels. I think her brother did several years over it

Now violence? Fuck yeah my family loves some violence. Obviously my parents abused each other, but my grandfather on my dad's side loved to pick fights and get pissy when you weren't man enough to hit him. My brother and I were constantly accused of being on meth despite not having even tried weed. (How we managed that, who knows?! I had hydroponics in my house back when my dad was dealing weed, meth, and pills)

When my parents got divorced, the trigger was he got home from his real job and found the kids alone all day during the summer. After all her shitty friends hid where she was, he got lucky and guessed. She was at these druggies house and was beyond fucked up on meth or something. He went in with a gun (smart move dad!) and she jumped him. He backhanded her with the butt of the gun and knocked two teeth out then came out the door and shot off two shots in the air. My brother and I were in the truck. He came around and drove off with us and never said anything. Let us wonder if he killled her or not for 3-4 hours until my grandmother stepped in and sorted it out. If not for that woman, I'm scared to think where I'd be. Brightest spot in my life growing up.

The Master_sl said:

The issue, as you'll see if you Google it for articles, is that children are generally taught to be obedient and are not taught about sex. So they actually have no idea that what the adult is asking them to do is wrong or unusual. Sometimes it isn't till years after the abuse has stopped that they'll realize what really happened.

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Part of it is also an awareness of the issue type thing. I have to believe that statistics of abuse are trending downwards, but if there's one thing I've learned in my years is that there is simply no such thing as a "normal" family. I count my blessings to have ended up with just a shitty divorce and some genetic predisposition towards depression. Actually, that second one would have been really good to know when I was in undergrad. Turns out my dad and both uncles are prone to it, and no one bothered to tell me I might be also.

When I was very young, like pre-K, I was babysat by some friends of my parents who must have been up to something sneaky. These were two high school friends of my folks who had ended up married. Anyway, usually I was left with my grandparents but I would stay over there sometimes during the work days while my mom was at the bank because we couldn't afford daycare. They had two daughters, one of which was just a little older than me and we were childhood friends. The usual "play doctor" stuff happened, I mean hell we were 4 years old, but when I got just a little older and looked back on it, she seemed to know a lot more about the actual mechanics of sex than a young child should. I don't think she was actually assaulted, but the mother, who was around 22, was incredibly open about nudity and so forth. I remember walking into the kitchen as a kid from playing outside and she was just standing there naked on the phone. I was 4, so I just sorta froze trying to process it and walked out of the room. It was a strange household.

Just a year or two ago, I found out that the man who had been married to her (they were divorced years ago) had been told that his second daughter didn't belong to him. She waited until the girl was grown and had a life of her own to bother telling him because she wanted to make sure he had to continue paying child support. The real father was apparently some other guy they all knew from the same circle of high school friends. My guess is that the oldest daughter was probably in the house when the mother was having her trysts, and knowing the mom she probably didn't bother to close doors or hide it very well.

Haast_sl said:

Were you a quiet kid? My little brother didn't talk a lot when he was really young, so I assumed he was slow. But when he started talking more, it was obvious he was the smart one. And has a better work ethic. And that's why I drink.

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I wasn't quiet but I was "peculiar". By that I mean that I often had a different perspective or opinion compared to other people my own age. The way I like to put it is this: if 10 people in a room are asked to solve a complicated problem, and 9 of them come up with roughly the same solution/proposal/answer, I'll usually be the person with a different answer/suggestion/proposal. Growing up I was taught that this difference was due to me being stupid and lazy. Later on I learned that the difference was because I thought about stuff that people in general didn't give a shit about, or didn't notice, or assumed was irrelevant, etc.

So, growing up, thoughtful = dumber than everyone else; in real life after escaping my parents, thoughtful = useful guy to have on your team

I also read a lot but no one knew or noticed.

I was always the quieter, thoughtful kid as well. Unfortunately in my case it turned out that I really was just stupid, slow, and uncreative.

My grandmother has some kind of personality disorder and my grandfather scores a 40/40 on the Hare Psychopathy Checklist. He was hardly around though since he was always out (cheating) being abusive towards other women and their kids. My mom told me about the time he caught her and her best friend coming home late in junior high; he sent my mom to bed and without any hesitation began molesting her best friend on the front porch. They moved often and after the divorce he changed residences even more frequently. Sometimes there would be unexplained boxes of other people's stuff, some of it children's toys and bikes. Other than being cold, controlling, and self-centered he really never did anything directly to his own family but it's anyone's guess what he was doing to others. It's strange, he remarried many many times and beat every last one of them but he never hit my grandmother or her kids beyond what was socially acceptable for the time. He's still out there being crazy. Right now he's supplementing his retirement with welfare and child support that he receives for a step-grandchild that the courts gave him guardianship of after his stepdaughter conveniently got busted for drugs. He had lunch here a couple years before he got this kid. He asked my mom for cash after sharing an insane story about shooting dogs because they were loud, then him and his current wife hid with guns so they could ambush the neighbor or the cops but the man never showed up to complain and this wife got bored and started playing with her gun and she dropped it but it didn't go off.... I believe they live in Kentucky.

Otherwise our male family members are mostly tolerable while our women are carrying the crazy torch. My mother's side of the family is large, most everyone has 2-5 kids. Nearly all of the women are scumbags or just insane but I think it's inherited traits from grandma and grandpa rather than physical abuse. Recently a cousin tried to give away her baby on craigslist but her post was so incoherent that nobody understood what she was trying to get rid of before my aunt got her to delete it. This cousin had to use a fertility clinic to get pregnant and she treats it like an inconvenient object that belongs somewhere else. Last I heard she was trying to have another because surely the next child will make her have feelings. I'm guessing these clinics have no sincere screening process because you can tell this bitch is crazy just by looking at her.

Another family member gets her toddler dressed up nice like they are going to do something, posts pictures of it on facebook, then dumps her kid off where ever so that she can receive internet praise for her parenting from people who don't know she's out partying while her scared and confused kid is with strangers. This one in particular gets off on causing conflicts between others. She tried to trick her father into fighting with her then boyfriend(convicted felon) the day after she illegally purchased a handgun for him. When that failed she tried the same thing on a mutual friend of ours and if he hadn't called me before going it would have worked. Him and his girlfriend were packing to travel out of state so they could confront this guy on her behalf and I spent that morning explaining to them that the girl had bought the guy a gun before inventing a crisis to lure people in. She's been temporarily held in jail at least once for idk what but no prosecutions thus far.

I'd share more but it's weirder stuff that requires more backstory that isn't worth the effort to type or read. tldr

One time when I was 5 or 6 I heard my parents raise their voices when arguing about something and started crying my eyes out because up until that point I had never heard my parents raise their voices in anger to each other before. My grandparents had gotten a divorce around the same time and I thought this meant that they were going to get a divorce too.


My heart really goes out to you guys with terrible parents/ grandparents. I can't imagine what it was like to go through some of the shit you guys did as a child.