NFL 2014 Off-Season Thread
- Thread starter AngryGerbil
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Gravel
Mr. Poopybutthole
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Ambiturner
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Yeah my comment that Kaep is mediocre then following it up with stats was total sea of stupid.
Glad we've got shit posters like you back making shitty posts and giving each other shitty high fives. All that football talk was getting in the way
Gavinmad
Mr. Poopybutthole
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Ok Tad. You keep going on about people calling Kaeperbro elite, when I'm pretty sure the only person on the forums who has ever called Kaep elite is Jozu, and he's almost as fucking dumb as you are.
You calling other people shit posters is pretty funny though.
Ambiturner
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STFU and get this back to football.
Browns draft Manziel and sign Tebow. They'd get more coverage than Yankees and the Cowboys combined. They'd be absolutely atrocious, but they're the Browns so take what you can get.
Holy shit draft that gay player, too. 3 biggest storylines plus the potential for a Tebow/Sam locker room scandal. You'd actually hear people bitching that they're sick of always hearing about the Browns. ESPN would explode
Browns draft Manziel and sign Tebow. They'd get more coverage than Yankees and the Cowboys combined. They'd be absolutely atrocious, but they're the Browns so take what you can get.
Holy shit draft that gay player, too. 3 biggest storylines plus the potential for a Tebow/Sam locker room scandal. You'd actually hear people bitching that they're sick of always hearing about the Browns. ESPN would explode
Daezuel
Potato del Grande
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Kirun
Buzzfeed Editor
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BrutulTM
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If the guy is going to be a star in the NFL then teams will want him regardless of any drama that might come with him. This kid is projected as a 4th or 5th rounder though, which doesn't tip the scales as much as a guy like Big Ben or Ray Lewis.
Famm
Ahn'Qiraj Raider
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While I appreciate the sentiment, every single one of those guy's situations were after they were already in the league. If this shit had happened right before the combine it would absolutely have affected their draft stocks. When they say controversy, they mean the fucking crazy media circus. If they could quietly go about their business as a team it would probably matter much less.
Sebudai
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The effects of the "media circus" are overblown I think. Look at the Patriots this year with the whole Aaron Hernandez situation as an example. If your team is actually affected by the media circus in a significant way, than your team sucks and doesn't deserve success anyway.
It's funny to me how NFL locker rooms are talked about like they're these delicate little ecosystems that must be sheltered and preserved at all costs. This is professional football. The rest of us have to learn how to work with people we might not like, but NFL players can't be expected to do this? They're such delicate little snowflakes that we need to pwotect dem fwom the scawy gay peopoe? Aww, poor babies.
It's funny to me how NFL locker rooms are talked about like they're these delicate little ecosystems that must be sheltered and preserved at all costs. This is professional football. The rest of us have to learn how to work with people we might not like, but NFL players can't be expected to do this? They're such delicate little snowflakes that we need to pwotect dem fwom the scawy gay peopoe? Aww, poor babies.
Sutekh
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How exactly is he a 4th or 5th rounder? His play seems like he could have easily gone 2nd or 3rd. How does the best defensive player in the SEC fall to the 5th round.
I liked the part where the dipshit from the Giants was talking about how guys in the locker room can't walk around naked anymore if he's on their team. Like he's literally just going to go over and start sucking their dicks or hold them down and ass fuck them or something. The dude's been in a locker room before.
Famm
Ahn'Qiraj Raider
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Its understandable, no team has ever had to deal with something so uncomfortable before I'm sure....
Jeff Pearlman has a new book coming out in September called Boys Will Be Boys, which chronicles the Cowboys during the Aikman-Smith-Irvin glory years. Tucked inside the book is a chapter called "The Last Naked Warrior," which is a nickname defensive end Charles Haley used for himself. Haley, if you recall, was a goddamn beast of a pass rusher, and also a legendary asshole. But what you may not know about Haley is that he was:
A) Legitimately insane
B) Hung like Milton Berle
C) Liked jacking off in front of teammates and coaches
And not playful jerking off. We're talking the real, hardcore, I'm-home-and-my-wife-is-at-the-movies jerking off. I'll let Pearlman fill you in:
"Haley would stroll up to an unsuspecting (49er) teammate, whip out his phallus, and repeatedly stroke it in his face. Players initially laughed it off."
Hey look, it's Charles' huge erection! And he's pleasuring himself! Man, that is funny.
"But Haley refused to stop. He would jerk off in the locker room, in the trainer's room. He'd wrap his hand around his penis, turn toward a Joe Montana or John Taylor, and bellow, 'You know you wanna suck this!'"
Well, it was San Francisco. I, for one, am glad to see that Haley liked to go native. I'm assuming Montana replied, "Really? I know I wanna suck that? Well, it hadn't occurred to me before. But now that you're masturbating right in front of me in a completely unprofessional manner, I can see your point."
Pearlman also gets this quote from Michael Silver:
"Charles used to beat off in meetings while talking graphically about other players' wives. It got to the point of ejaculation."
Well, if you don't reach the point of ejaculation, there IS no point. Am I right? Think about this quote for just a moment. You go to work. You go sit in a meeting. Then Bob from Accounting decides to take out his Frankencock and starts talking about banging your wife, and then orgasms right in front of you.
That's. unusual. It won't surprise you to know that Haley was also a raging homophobe, saying to a new Cowboy teammate once:
"You're from California? You must be a fucking faggot."
And he would know! Because he was in California once, jerking off in front of large groups of other men. I haven't seen a homosexual this insecure since Vin Diesel. Brady Quinn would like him to sign with the Browns ASAP.
A) Legitimately insane
B) Hung like Milton Berle
C) Liked jacking off in front of teammates and coaches
And not playful jerking off. We're talking the real, hardcore, I'm-home-and-my-wife-is-at-the-movies jerking off. I'll let Pearlman fill you in:
"Haley would stroll up to an unsuspecting (49er) teammate, whip out his phallus, and repeatedly stroke it in his face. Players initially laughed it off."
Hey look, it's Charles' huge erection! And he's pleasuring himself! Man, that is funny.
"But Haley refused to stop. He would jerk off in the locker room, in the trainer's room. He'd wrap his hand around his penis, turn toward a Joe Montana or John Taylor, and bellow, 'You know you wanna suck this!'"
Well, it was San Francisco. I, for one, am glad to see that Haley liked to go native. I'm assuming Montana replied, "Really? I know I wanna suck that? Well, it hadn't occurred to me before. But now that you're masturbating right in front of me in a completely unprofessional manner, I can see your point."
Pearlman also gets this quote from Michael Silver:
"Charles used to beat off in meetings while talking graphically about other players' wives. It got to the point of ejaculation."
Well, if you don't reach the point of ejaculation, there IS no point. Am I right? Think about this quote for just a moment. You go to work. You go sit in a meeting. Then Bob from Accounting decides to take out his Frankencock and starts talking about banging your wife, and then orgasms right in front of you.
That's. unusual. It won't surprise you to know that Haley was also a raging homophobe, saying to a new Cowboy teammate once:
"You're from California? You must be a fucking faggot."
And he would know! Because he was in California once, jerking off in front of large groups of other men. I haven't seen a homosexual this insecure since Vin Diesel. Brady Quinn would like him to sign with the Browns ASAP.
BrutulTM
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Gravel
Mr. Poopybutthole
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That book has been out for years?
I should probably read it. I've read some excerpts from it and it sounds insane. Like Michael Irvin going on a cocaine bender and showing up to practice still out of his mind.