Chris
Potato del Grande
- 19,656
- -10,600
Here is the Spectre problem:
1967 Blofeld Secret Lair:
*Inside a massive hollowed out volcano hidden amoungst other volcanos.
*Has retractable roof with a fake lake on it to hide from aerial surveilance.
*Has a fleet of defence helicopters if you go anywhere near it.
*Is hiding a ROCKET which EATS other rockets IN SPACE, creating a third faction in the Cold War.
*Staffed by his own private army in matching uniforms commanded from a control room.
*Has a pirahna pool with retractable bridge to kill traitors.
*Has a sexy redhead henchwomen who Bond bangs earlier in the movie and is killed by the piranhas.
*Blofeld escapes on the lair's monorail mass transit system.
*Lair is only destroyed after a massive ninja raid captures it, requiring use of the self destruct sequence which ERUPTS THE VOLCANO.
*Bond is rewarded with a sexy Japanese secret agent/ninja.
2015 Blofeld Secret Lair:
*Inside a shallow meteor crater in an otherwise flat desert.
*Not hidden from the air in the age of satellites.
*Free taxi from the train station.
*Is hiding a PC lab.
*Staffed by a creepy butler and brainwashed apple store employees.
*Has a small brain drill to erase memories which doesn't work.
*Employs nobody with any sex appeal whatsoever.
*Blofeld escapes off screen and I assume has to wait around in the desert to get picked up.
*Lair is destroyed after a single bullet hits a gas tank so poorly engineered that the entire base somehow explodes.
*Bond gets married to a traumatised woman who hates him and apparently betrays him next movie.
What happened in the 48 years between those movies?
1967 Blofeld Secret Lair:
*Inside a massive hollowed out volcano hidden amoungst other volcanos.
*Has retractable roof with a fake lake on it to hide from aerial surveilance.
*Has a fleet of defence helicopters if you go anywhere near it.
*Is hiding a ROCKET which EATS other rockets IN SPACE, creating a third faction in the Cold War.
*Staffed by his own private army in matching uniforms commanded from a control room.
*Has a pirahna pool with retractable bridge to kill traitors.
*Has a sexy redhead henchwomen who Bond bangs earlier in the movie and is killed by the piranhas.
*Blofeld escapes on the lair's monorail mass transit system.
*Lair is only destroyed after a massive ninja raid captures it, requiring use of the self destruct sequence which ERUPTS THE VOLCANO.
*Bond is rewarded with a sexy Japanese secret agent/ninja.
2015 Blofeld Secret Lair:
*Inside a shallow meteor crater in an otherwise flat desert.
*Not hidden from the air in the age of satellites.
*Free taxi from the train station.
*Is hiding a PC lab.
*Staffed by a creepy butler and brainwashed apple store employees.
*Has a small brain drill to erase memories which doesn't work.
*Employs nobody with any sex appeal whatsoever.
*Blofeld escapes off screen and I assume has to wait around in the desert to get picked up.
*Lair is destroyed after a single bullet hits a gas tank so poorly engineered that the entire base somehow explodes.
*Bond gets married to a traumatised woman who hates him and apparently betrays him next movie.
What happened in the 48 years between those movies?
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