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I have 13 year old twins. One boy and one girl. We had "the talk" around 11 and a half and was pretty up front about it all. We kind of monitored different conversations and web searches and school curriculum for that timing.
I wouldn't say 9 would be way too early but kind of a bit early as a boy myself.
Erronius
<WoW Guild Officer>
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chaos
Buzzfeed Editor
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My dad never had "the talk" with me. Not really. When I was a kid he bought me a copy of Gray's Anatomy, he was really open about everything as far as sex went. I don't feel like that was the wrong thing to do or anything.
Vandyn
Blackwing Lair Raider
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My wife has made it known that she's going to have the talk earlier than later with my daughter (granted it's still some time away, she's only 7 now). Mostly due to the fact that she remembers when she was a early teenager and what kind of stuff she did. I dunno, I think if you have a daughter it's a little different than a boy. You want to talk to them about it, especially these days where many girls seem to be hitting puberty earlier than usual.
Congrats Etoille.
lindz
#DDs
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Grade 5 was when we had the "changes" video at school, so that like, 10? I went to an all girls school at that age so it may be done differently in co-ed environments. My mom hadn't talked to me in depth before that, though she'd mentioned things.
I think it's just important to get to it before puberty starts to hit. I wouldn't want my kids to hear about it from teachers or friends, or start to experience stuff before we've talked about it. We're pretty open in my house so I expect we'll start to see that topic coming up in the next few years (my oldest is 7).
I think it's just important to get to it before puberty starts to hit. I wouldn't want my kids to hear about it from teachers or friends, or start to experience stuff before we've talked about it. We're pretty open in my house so I expect we'll start to see that topic coming up in the next few years (my oldest is 7).
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I don't think it need be a full blown reveal all in one talk. Teach your kids about their bodies, how to respect them, and add sexuality to your ongoing conversations as you go. To me, it's really important that the kids know they can talk about anything, and that they're at least introduced to the larger concepts in a controlled and safe way. Our 10 year old is asking some fairly advanced questions, largely, I think, because he hears his older sisters talking about things they hear at school or whatever.
Really, I think our kids are fairly sheltered, but they choose to be the way they are. We're very open and honest.
Really, I think our kids are fairly sheltered, but they choose to be the way they are. We're very open and honest.
Falstaff
Ahn'Qiraj Raider
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My parents never talked to me. We had HBO and Cinemax growing up and they knew what we were watching.
That plus the advent of the internet when porn was not necessary plentiful, but finding naked pictures of women was pretty easy.
I'll probably have the talk with my daughter as soon as she gets a cell phone because I plan on letting her know that guys she sends naked pics to WILL show all their friends and they probably will end up on tumblr... and the internet is forever.
That plus the advent of the internet when porn was not necessary plentiful, but finding naked pictures of women was pretty easy.
I'll probably have the talk with my daughter as soon as she gets a cell phone because I plan on letting her know that guys she sends naked pics to WILL show all their friends and they probably will end up on tumblr... and the internet is forever.
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Crone
Bronze Baronet of the Realm
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I find it really interesting these days with the perspective teenagers have about the internet and people in general.
Recently had an experience in a game, where I handed some dude some stuff, he made it better, and handed it back, and then he asked me why did I trust him with my good stuff?
I later learned, this dude was 16 years old, but I explained to him that trusting someone was more important than going around thinking everyone is going to screw me. Make a friend, not an enemy type stuff, whatevers.
It just really got me thinking about teenagers, and how un-trusting they are. I guess the by-product of growing up with stranger danger and the big bad evil internet. I don't go around in life, or on the internet, thinking everyone is out to screw me, and I was kind of sad that many young kids might be going around thinking exactly that.
Recently had an experience in a game, where I handed some dude some stuff, he made it better, and handed it back, and then he asked me why did I trust him with my good stuff?
I later learned, this dude was 16 years old, but I explained to him that trusting someone was more important than going around thinking everyone is going to screw me. Make a friend, not an enemy type stuff, whatevers.
It just really got me thinking about teenagers, and how un-trusting they are. I guess the by-product of growing up with stranger danger and the big bad evil internet. I don't go around in life, or on the internet, thinking everyone is out to screw me, and I was kind of sad that many young kids might be going around thinking exactly that.
Joeboo
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Kids on leashes, schools with armed security guards and metal detectors, daycares with multiple secured doors only accessable by being buzzed through via intercom, etc. Everything related to kids nowadays is like secret-service levels of security and distrust, and that's the norm for kids, it's all they know. It's a lot different than if you grew up in the 70s or 80s. I had to unexpectedly pick up my nephews from day care once due to a family emergency, and you would have thought that I was trying to pick up nuclear arms for transport across international borders.
Crone
Bronze Baronet of the Realm
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Ya, I guess it is all they know.
I think we grew up about the same time joeboo? Born in '83. At least I think you are around my age. lol. Both have a young son, but I'm sure I'll have plenty of moments where I'm of the same mind set that these teenagers are. Don't trust anyone around my kid. But still, to me, is just kind of sad that's where we are at.
I think we grew up about the same time joeboo? Born in '83. At least I think you are around my age. lol. Both have a young son, but I'm sure I'll have plenty of moments where I'm of the same mind set that these teenagers are. Don't trust anyone around my kid. But still, to me, is just kind of sad that's where we are at.
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Joeboo
Molten Core Raider
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Not too far off, I'm 5 years older than you. So like me, I'm sure you've seen plenty of examples of friends having kids for the past decade or so, and hopefully I've picked up a few good examples of do's and donts from the ones I felt like ended up being good parents with well adjusted kids, and also seeing the ones that are total trainwrecks.Ya, I guess it is all they know.
I think we grew up about the same time joeboo? Born in '83. At least I think you are around my age. lol. Both have a young son, but I'm sure I'll have plenty of moments where I'm of the same mind set that these teenagers are. Don't trust anyone around my kid. But still, to me, is just kind of sad that's where we are at.
Crone
Bronze Baronet of the Realm
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Oh hell yes. I suppose any parent is confident in their parenting ability, but I've picked up a lot of good stuff, and a lot of bad stuff I hope to never do. I hope I can instill in my child to be careful, but sometimes, it's ok to give someone a chance.
I say that now, until that one chance my kid gave ends up hurting them. Then I'm sure I'll be yelling about F everyone, and don't trust a soul. lol
Cad
scientia potentia est
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Kids are just different from each other too, though. Good parents with nutjob kids will seem like bad parents.
jeffvader
it's only castles burning
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long lurker here, jumping in because i feel like talking about sex will be nothing compared to talking about death but maybe i'm just dumb/inexperienced/crazy. i have one 2.5 y.o. daughter. she came back from her grandmother's last weekend and said two things that surprised me:
1: 'i don't love this hand (her left) because it doesn't do anything.' (i lol'd)
2:
her: 'i don't want to die.'
me: 'you don't want to what?'
her: 'die. like the dragon.'
i was like wtf. you're 2 dude. must be my genes...
1: 'i don't love this hand (her left) because it doesn't do anything.' (i lol'd)
2:
her: 'i don't want to die.'
me: 'you don't want to what?'
her: 'die. like the dragon.'
i was like wtf. you're 2 dude. must be my genes...
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Probably the most productive death discussion was had here after our cat died. I had had the cat 17 years, the kids were incredibly attached to the cat, and so was I. I cried like a kid when that cat died. And the thing that made me cry the most was watching my 5 year old (at the time) comprehend that the cat was gone. He kept trying to bargain and deal - "If I eat everything on my plate, can we go and get the cat?" Things of that nature.
It took several weeks of talking about it with him, and he still talks about that cat a year later, but he has some understanding of death.
Jebus on a stick. That was a rough week.
It took several weeks of talking about it with him, and he still talks about that cat a year later, but he has some understanding of death.
Jebus on a stick. That was a rough week.