Parent Thread

  • Guest, it's time once again for the massively important and exciting FoH Asshat Tournament!



    Go here and give us your nominations!
    Who's been the biggest Asshat in the last year? Give us your worst ones!
lurkingdirk

lurkingdirk

AssHat Taint
<Medals Crew>
48,268
226,595
G4YGBmA.png
 
  • 1Solidarity
Reactions: 1 user
Noodleface

Noodleface

A Mod Real Quick
38,382
16,303
Lanx said:
i'm moving out and put full strength bleach in a spray bottle, the pressure + bleach power practically knocks out black stuff and i just keep squirting to clean behind the toilet, everything gets knocked loose and easy to just mop quickly, don't know if that helps with a scene outta Doom!
Click to expand...
Yeah man that's what I have but I'm finding blood everywhere. I found some on the goddamn ceiling. Also it coagulated in the drain and that was fun
 
  • 1Solidarity
Reactions: 1 user
Lanx

Lanx

<Prior Amod>
66,165
150,782
Noodleface said:
Yeah man that's what I have but I'm finding blood everywhere. I found some on the goddamn ceiling. Also it coagulated in the drain and that was fun
Click to expand...
if you got organic drain issues, try pure lye
EXTREME WARNING:
1. DO USE GLOVES
2. DO USE EYE PROTECTION

Shit is dangerous, but it unclogged the holy hell when snaking, draino, bakingpower/vinegar didn't do shit, pure lye ate through it.
 
Alkorin

Chancellor Alkorin

Part-Time Sith
<Granularity Engineer>
6,051
6,036
I am suddenly struck by how incredibly normal and boring the birth of our two kids was.
 
  • 1Solidarity
Reactions: 1 user
lurkingdirk

lurkingdirk

AssHat Taint
<Medals Crew>
48,268
226,595
Noodleface said:
Yeah man that's what I have but I'm finding blood everywhere. I found some on the goddamn ceiling. Also it coagulated in the drain and that was fun
Click to expand...

You might want to report this to your local police and have them document it so if any shit goes down in your house later, you can explain the blood splatters.
 
ToeMissile

ToeMissile

Pronouns: zie/zhem/zer
<Gold Donor>
3,327
2,181
What my daughter sounds like when she's really tired but doesn't want to go to sleep

 
  • 1Solidarity
  • 1Like
Reactions: 1 users
Noodleface

Noodleface

A Mod Real Quick
38,382
16,303
They've been home a couple days now so getting into the rhythm.

Our first son NEVER SLEPT unless someone cradled him and often it was an hour at a time. It wasn't until a couple months in we realized he wasn't getting enough milk. My wife developed mastitis twice or three times during this time period. Eventually when we went formula the dude was golden.

With the new baby she tried again and already has plugged ducts and mastitis. We're doing a formula and milk mix and the dude is sleeping.

Having a newborn that sleeps is insane.
 
  • 2Like
Reactions: 1 users
iannis

iannis

Musty Nester
31,351
17,657
Mothers milk is good, but it mostly kickstarts his immune system and gut flora.

So what i'm saying is roll him in some dirt like a little cigar and it should be about the same.
 
  • 2Like
Reactions: 1 users
Noodleface

Noodleface

A Mod Real Quick
38,382
16,303
iannis said:
Mothers milk is good, but it mostly kickstarts his immune system and gut flora.

So what i'm saying is roll him in some dirt like a little cigar and it should be about the same.
Click to expand...
Yeah I mean I'm not one of those weirdos that says formula fed babies have a lower iq later on or some shit. The wife is feeling better so he's getting more of that sweet titty milk.

Btw. The titties are huge. DD titties on a 5'0" woman is amazing looking.
 
  • 1Solidarity
  • 1Like
Reactions: 1 users
ZyyzYzzy

ZyyzYzzy

RIP USA
<Banned>
25,295
48,789
Noodleface said:
Yeah I mean I'm not one of those weirdos that says formula fed babies have a lower iq later on or some shit. The wife is feeling better so he's getting more of that sweet titty milk.

Btw. The titties are huge. DD titties on a 5'0" woman is amazing looking.
Click to expand...
Pictures. Don't pull a @trex on us!
 
Woefully Inept

Woefully Inept

Karazhan Raider
9,328
37,115
Noodleface said:
Yeah I mean I'm not one of those weirdos that says formula fed babies have a lower iq later on or some shit. The wife is feeling better so he's getting more of that sweet titty milk.

Btw. The titties are huge. DD titties on a 5'0" woman is amazing looking.
Click to expand...
Oh yes pregnant wife boobs and giant nips. HOT AF. I couldn't help myself. lol
 
  • 1Solidarity
Reactions: 1 user
Ritley

Ritley

Bronze Baron of the Realm
16,034
35,130
Noodleface said:
Ok man I'll break it down.

She had contractions early on but when she called the obgyn told her they're far enough apart that she should wait a few hours and call back. In 2 hours the pain was unbeatable but they were 2 minutes apart. She said "I think we need to go now, but let me go to the bathroom first". I said ok and started preparing our stuff.

Her water broke on the toilet.

At this point 911 was immediately called. The firehouse is 5 minutes from my house. The guy on the call told me to have her lay down but she was paralyzed standing up and he said that's ok just comfort her. He instructed me to drop the call, unlock the door, and comfort my wife. At this point 3 minutes had past from water breaking.

30 seconds after getting off the call my wife had a blood curdling scream and said "HES COMING!!!"

I told her to lie down and she couldn't. Her body pushed again involuntarily and she put her arms down and I had my hands down there too and the baby completely slid out and into her hands. It took 2 pushes for the entire baby to shoot out.

At this point I called 911 and told him to get those guys to hurry the fuck up. I flagged them down within 30 seconds of birth.

This entire ordeal took 5 minutes or less. It was surreal.

It wasn't a long drawn out thing and certainly no one thought the baby would just shoot out like that.

Also want to add this. My wife almost bled out in my tub. Additionally, my child almost died. His temp was 93 degrees when they got to the hospital and they couldn't raise it for a long time.

I cleaned up the murder scene in my house and I've never been hit with such a raw power of almost losing something like that.
Click to expand...

Was just catching up with this thread from the last week. Got damn dude.
 
Noodleface

Noodleface

A Mod Real Quick
38,382
16,303
Wife and I are taking turns on nights handling the baby. Unfortunately for me, my wife always has some issue and wakes me up around 4am to help her and by the time she's square my two year old wakes up and there goes sleep. I let her sleep in every time it's her turn.

I can't complain because she did spawn the demon, but damn I feel like I am not getting a fair shake here.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.