Parent Thread

Crone · Apr 17, 2020

Hateyou said:
My five year old son went through different stages. We just didn’t tell him about it and he went a couple weeks at home just thinking it was awesome he was getting stay home from daycare days.

At some point he picked up the word Coronavirus from before daycare let out, then he started hearing it on the news or from us talking about it and asked what it was. So we told him it’s a virus like the flu or cold, makes you sick, etc.

Then the warm weather came and the whole neighborhood wanted to congregate outside, kids playing etc. we pulled him away from it early and he had a fucking meltdown screaming closed fist at the ceiling he hated the Coronavirus and he just wants to go play.

Now that the weather is back to cold he doesn’t really care as much but he says he’s ready to go see his friends again, he’s tired of being home all day with us (we’re both working at home this entire time).

We do FaceTime with one or two family members a day so he stays in contact, try to do a wide variety of activities to keep him busy but we’re basically out of new stuff and it’s tough working from home when he wants attention. We’ve never been ones to plop him in front of a TV or iPad but he’s getting a few hours of that a day now. We print out worksheets from ABC mouse and those are pretty helpful for about an hour. He’s getting close to doing the second grade level stuff and he’s still in preschool, so some of it doesn’t work as well cause we have to keep stopping work to explain the directions for each worksheet.

Anyways. Variety of activities like worksheets, sidewalk chalk, painting windows, Perler beads, coloring book, TV. Honestly he’s probably dealing with it better than we are. We’re both stressed and snapping at each other, short tempered. I’m ready to go back to work and gtfo out of the house.

Oh also, physical activity every day has seemed to help all of us. Walks, playing with the dogs, riding bikes, kickball in the back yard. We also do these exercises with him every day. You spell your name, or words, whatever. Then do the exercises for each letter. He likes picking his friends names and stuff.

View attachment 263447

Fuck the kid named Moses. Shit.

Noodleface · Apr 17, 2020

Fire Dept rolled out 6 trucks, two SUVs, and two ambulances today for my son's birthday. Just blasted the everloving fuck out of the neighborhood and stopped traffic. Family members were behind the parade too. He was ecstatic but also confused. Hopefully one day he realizes how incredible it was with the strings I pulled.

Larnix · Apr 17, 2020

I got lucky and we had our daughters birthday party right before they really started encouraging social distancing here. Next birthday isn't until December.

Crone · Apr 17, 2020

Noodleface said:
Fire Dept rolled out 6 trucks, two SUVs, and two ambulances today for my son's birthday. Just blasted the everloving fuck out of the neighborhood and stopped traffic. Family members were behind the parade too. He was ecstatic but also confused. Hopefully one day he realizes how incredible it was with the strings I pulled.

Now I'm curious. What strings did you pull?

On a worse note... found out this afternoon that nearly the entire house including all the kids have lice. FML

Hosix · Apr 17, 2020

Crone said:
Now I'm curious. What strings did you pull?

On a worse note... found out this afternoon that nearly the entire house including all the kids have lice. FML

Shave everyone’s heads.

lurkingdirk · Apr 17, 2020

My youngest has a birthday Sunday. Trying to figure out what to do to make it special. He normally has friends over, I cook a special meal, or we rent an ice sheet for an hour, or something. That's typical birthday stuff around here. Now, no ice rink, no friends...I can still make his favourite meal (crab legs and cinnamon roll cake for dessert). But how are you folks making things special right now?

Ao- · Apr 18, 2020

Literally did the same thing as noodle above. The FD came by with sirens going, and my kids out front watching and waving. It was fucking great.
Tomorrow we will make him breakfast (pancakes) and then he wants fucking McDonald's for dinner.

Hateyou · Apr 18, 2020

Crone said:
Now I'm curious. What strings did you pull?

On a worse note... found out this afternoon that nearly the entire house including all the kids have lice. FML

I fucking hate that shit. We had it a couple times when we were kids and one of my sisters just had this massive mop of hair that they struggled to kill them all. Lice and ticks were traumatizing to me as a kid, that shit still creeps me out. Just thinking about it makes me itch my head.

Noodleface · Apr 18, 2020

If it makes you feel better I've heard lice are attracted to people with clean heads

I just meant in general I had to call the police chief, schedule a time, organize our entire families to go by in a parade, etc. Wasn't like crazy strings haha

Haus · Apr 18, 2020

I think I have a situation which might be the reverse of this threads apparent intention, but what the hell. It does have to do with a parent.

I'm in my 50's. My mother and my aging uncle live in the house I was raised in. Thanks to the VA misdiagnosing and then ignoring a situation going on he recently lost his left leg (just below the hip) so he's wheelchair bound now. The problem is this compounds on a life of bad choices in his regard. He's a pack and a half a day smoker over 70, only one of his four daughters will have anything to do with him, and personally I think he's just decided to smoke and watch TV until he dies at this point. He lacks arm strength because in the months after he lost his leg he was depressed and basically told the Physical Therapist at the rehab facility to F off.

I have no problem with him deciding to clock out. The problem is now multiple times I'm getting calls from my mother. Yesterday is was "get got on the toilet and can't get back into his wheelchair", this morning it was "he went to sleep in his wheelchair and woke up on the floor and can't get up". My mom suffers from a back injury she had back in her 40's that makes her helping him in those circumstances difficult at best, mostly impossible, because she just doesn't have that level of "bend over/squat and pick up a heavy ass object" available to her.

I'm about to have to go over and help him off the floor and I'm wondering if it's my place as the newphew who just happens to live closest to put him on full blast over this and start acting like his parent and telling him he can sit on the floor unless he can prove to me he's going the therapy stuff to build up his arms. (His arms at the bicep are around the size of most people wrist or ankle because, as mentioned, he gives zero fucks). Also wondering if I need to call my cousin about if he has to consider an assisted living facility.

Then I have to worry about my mom living in a semi-crap end of town in a house by herself.

Probably just venting this because I needed to get it out. Have any of you hit these issues in your lives yet?

Volto! · Apr 18, 2020

I have not had to deal with a situation like that personally, but imo you need to do what’s right by your mom and make sure she is going to be safe and not injure herself trying to help someone that doesn’t have much interest in helping himself. I get the feeling after reading that post that somehow, someway, he will only become a larger physical, and potentially mentally, burden on your mother as he continues to decline in age and health.

Hosix · Apr 18, 2020

Haus said:
I think I have a situation which might be the reverse of this threads apparent intention, but what the hell. It does have to do with a parent.

I'm in my 50's. My mother and my aging uncle live in the house I was raised in. Thanks to the VA misdiagnosing and then ignoring a situation going on he recently lost his left leg (just below the hip) so he's wheelchair bound now. The problem is this compounds on a life of bad choices in his regard. He's a pack and a half a day smoker over 70, only one of his four daughters will have anything to do with him, and personally I think he's just decided to smoke and watch TV until he dies at this point. He lacks arm strength because in the months after he lost his leg he was depressed and basically told the Physical Therapist at the rehab facility to F off.

I have no problem with him deciding to clock out. The problem is now multiple times I'm getting calls from my mother. Yesterday is was "get got on the toilet and can't get back into his wheelchair", this morning it was "he went to sleep in his wheelchair and woke up on the floor and can't get up". My mom suffers from a back injury she had back in her 40's that makes her helping him in those circumstances difficult at best, mostly impossible, because she just doesn't have that level of "bend over/squat and pick up a heavy ass object" available to her.

I'm about to have to go over and help him off the floor and I'm wondering if it's my place as the newphew who just happens to live closest to put him on full blast over this and start acting like his parent and telling him he can sit on the floor unless he can prove to me he's going the therapy stuff to build up his arms. (His arms at the bicep are around the size of most people wrist or ankle because, as mentioned, he gives zero fucks). Also wondering if I need to call my cousin about if he has to consider an assisted living facility.

Then I have to worry about my mom living in a semi-crap end of town in a house by herself.

Probably just venting this because I needed to get it out. Have any of you hit these issues in your lives yet?

Ugh....that’s rough. Hard on her and you. I had an uncle who wasn’t the best character. He spent more time in prison than free. I was always worried he would spend his life leaching off my mom.

Unfortunately he had a heart attack about a year ago. Problem solved.

Just be there for your mom. I think that’s the best you can do. Get his kids involved. Could always drop him off and leave him on their porch. Anchored in....

Gavinmad · Apr 18, 2020

Haus said:
I'm about to have to go over and help him off the floor and I'm wondering if it's my place as the newphew who just happens to live closest to put him on full blast over this and start acting like his parent and telling him he can sit on the floor unless he can prove to me he's going the therapy stuff to build up his arms. (His arms at the bicep are around the size of most people wrist or ankle because, as mentioned, he gives zero fucks). Also wondering if I need to call my cousin about if he has to consider an assisted living facility.

You aren't just the nephew, you're the son of a woman whose life he is making a lot more difficult. Light the motherfucker up, and stick his ass in a home if he won't change.

Haus · Apr 18, 2020

I went over there to help him up into his chair. He said around 15-20 words while I was there, and only around 5 made any sense. My mother told me more of the story. Apparently Friday he was up and around the house, in his chair. Even got up on one leg (they're still making his prosthetic) to get a plate, made himself food. But then got so exhausted he had the "couldn't get off the toilet" issue on Friday (O2 at 82, Pulse at almost 200). The slid out of his chair as mentioned above. The only things which were intelligible today were him thanking me, and when my mother mentioned calling me over him saying he didn't want her to call me.

Talked to my cousin, and my mom called me this evening. She's going to talk to his home health care nurse next time they're over about a rehab of assisted living facility since she openly admits she just can't take care of him at this point. And of course all this happens today, which was my cousin's bday, feel kinda bad for her.

Volto! · Apr 18, 2020

Haus said:
O2 at 82, Pulse at almost 200

This guy needs swift medical attention if this isn't a chronic condition, e.g. emphysema, COPD. And if it is some chronic condition, it needs to be managed better.

Noodleface · Apr 18, 2020

You might want to call social services if he's unable to care for himself

Haus · Apr 18, 2020

Volto! said:
This guy needs swift medical attention if this isn't a chronic condition, e.g. emphysema, COPD. And if it is some chronic condition, it needs to be managed better.

It's COPD... The VA misdiagnosed an infection in his leg last year, and he spent 2 months in the hospital almost dead, the infection about destroyed his immune system leading to a parade of illnesses. Combined with his pack+ a day smoking, his lungs are pretty completely jacked.

Kalaar kururuc · Apr 19, 2020

Bought a 4 pack of water pistols and super soakers, weather been mid 60's here for last 2 weeks. Great fun, no idea why box says 6+ as my 3 year old gets on with them just fine hes a dead eye with the super soakers. Really glad we have a decent sized garden and weather been decent, I'd have killed either me or the 3 year old by now if we were stuck in the house. 5 weeks now since I started working from home, and only a few days less since nursery ended

ver_21 · Apr 19, 2020

Haus said:
I think I have a situation which might be the reverse of this threads apparent intention, but what the hell. It does have to do with a parent.

I'm in my 50's. My mother and my aging uncle live in the house I was raised in. Thanks to the VA misdiagnosing and then ignoring a situation going on he recently lost his left leg (just below the hip) so he's wheelchair bound now. The problem is this compounds on a life of bad choices in his regard. He's a pack and a half a day smoker over 70, only one of his four daughters will have anything to do with him, and personally I think he's just decided to smoke and watch TV until he dies at this point. He lacks arm strength because in the months after he lost his leg he was depressed and basically told the Physical Therapist at the rehab facility to F off.

I have no problem with him deciding to clock out. The problem is now multiple times I'm getting calls from my mother. Yesterday is was "get got on the toilet and can't get back into his wheelchair", this morning it was "he went to sleep in his wheelchair and woke up on the floor and can't get up". My mom suffers from a back injury she had back in her 40's that makes her helping him in those circumstances difficult at best, mostly impossible, because she just doesn't have that level of "bend over/squat and pick up a heavy ass object" available to her.

I'm about to have to go over and help him off the floor and I'm wondering if it's my place as the newphew who just happens to live closest to put him on full blast over this and start acting like his parent and telling him he can sit on the floor unless he can prove to me he's going the therapy stuff to build up his arms. (His arms at the bicep are around the size of most people wrist or ankle because, as mentioned, he gives zero fucks). Also wondering if I need to call my cousin about if he has to consider an assisted living facility.

Then I have to worry about my mom living in a semi-crap end of town in a house by herself.

Probably just venting this because I needed to get it out. Have any of you hit these issues in your lives yet?

Who owns the house? You and/or your mom need PoA for him if you're gonna remain in proximity to/responsible for his care.

Haus · Apr 19, 2020

ver_21 said:
Who owns the house? You and/or your mom need PoA for him if you're gonna remain in proximity to/responsible for his care.

I was raised by my grandparents, in that house. I was also adopted by them. So legally this is actually my brother and sister living in the house. When my grandmother passed the house was put into a trust. My mother, uncle, other uncle (who lives in Louisiana), and myself are the trustees. Trust me, that's a whole other can of worms to unravel in terms of homesteading and taxation.

This is why I essentially now am the caretaker of the "Family Retirement Home". Right now I believe his daughter (my cousin) is the one with PoA at the moment. Which is why I'm talking to her about this.

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Hosix

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