You survived a merci vall lightning with only 25% resistance? Very very lucky. Lightning has a huge damage range and you got the super low end. That thing can hit for around 2500 damage vs 75% res, (so 7500 vs 25% res) on a high roll. And let's not get into crits and shock.
Well thinking about it I had more than 25%, 25% was my cold resist on merveil but I had even less lightning, 8% or something so I thought I wouldn't force it and equipped a 30%lightning I had in my stash, so must have had 38%. Still I got hit for only about 1500dmg or so, my full ES was 2300 and I lost slightly more than half hp. I didn't know it was supposed to do that high dmg, I know you don't want to get hit twice in a row because of the debuff but assumed base dmg was lower, so guess I was lucky.
Joeboo in general most of the successful builds I've seen have a good amount of defenses, however there's a few ways to go "defensive" for example warlord's mark+blood rage means you lifesteal a lot, add rings and weapons and maybe even a lifeleech support gem and you can increase your EHP by increasing your damage and lifeeleeching more. I see a lot of DW builds working like that. They still get a decent amount of defensive nodes though but I'd say it's like 40%defensive/60%offensive. Most other builds tend to be the contrary or even bigger. In general, you don't really need any damage nodes besides a few very strong ones that it'd be stupid to skip to do good damage, skills alone with the right supports and gear will take care of it.
As for the survability stat, evasion is the worst on its own because well it's random, so as long as you evade you're good and then splat. Armor works weird so apparently people have theorycrafted that you either want 5k(which is a fairly small amount, you need a bit of armor % nodes but not too many) or 50k for it to be worth it, but 50k can't be attained in a normal build I believe. Armor is further devalued due to Granite Flasks which give 10k armor for a couple of seconds so you have on demand armor. Energy Shield is arguably the best of the 3, however it tends to require a fair amount of points invested in energy nodes and work very well in combination with others(which is why templars body and soul nodes are very strong since they give both armor and ES, granting a large increase of EHP). Overall though the most important stat seems to be health, unless you do a CI build obviously. You want around 80-100% additional health from nodes.
In the end all of the defensive stats are useful but pure evasion is probably the shittiest even with all the major passives. In fact it's probably better without Acrobat which is designed as THE evasion passive, since it removes all your armor and ES, making you very squishy. There's probably a viable evasion/block/armor build to be done but it's stretched thin and that means less damage which means you have to tank longer which isn't good.
You can also balance your passive build out with active skills. Decoy Totem for example is a great tool to reduce incoming damage, Auras and Curses can also majorly reduce the damage taken(Enfeeble curse for example reduce dmg by 25% at rank1 and scales up to 35% along with crit and accuracy reductions), the Blind support gem can be very strong too once you have enough attackspeed and so on. While you can completely fuck your build over and make a char that becomes impossible to play at high level, there's many ways to make viable chars too.