Chanur
Shit Posting Professional
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Rate Movies You've Recently Watched.
- Thread starter Xeldar
- Start date
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Guest, it's time once again for the massively important and exciting FoH Asshat Tournament!
Go here and give us your nominations!Who's been the biggest Asshat in the last year? Give us your worst ones!
Void
BAU BAU
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- 11,730
A coworker of mine watches literally every zombie movie ever made, shit or not. He also has fairly shit taste himself. So when he recommended a severely low-budget movie on Amazon Prime called The Battery, I was skeptical to say the least. Amazon Prime will, I think anyway, put your high school media project up for viewing if you ask them to. That's how shit some of their shows/movies are.
They probably made this movie for a few thousand dollars, although I have no idea how much shit like cameras and editing and all that really costs, so who the fuck knows. But it can't have been very much at all. It is basically two guys roaming around the countryside after a zombie apocalypse. One guy sort of embraces the hand he has been dealt, the other guy is kind of in denial (listens to headphones instead of listening for motherfucking zombies, for example).
It was surprisingly good, all things considered. Not anything to blow you away, but this is what they mean when they talk about character driven movies. Aside from a few zombies and a couple of other humans, 95% of the movie is just the two of them coping with their situation and each other. A lot of stuff is off camera too, probably so they didn't have to spend money on special effects or paying actors/extras more, etc. And honestly, it works just fine, as your imagination supplies a better idea than actually showing it would have. There's a particularly tense scene at the end where all of the action is not only off camera, but we literally sit there and watch the other guy wait anxiously to find out what happened. It felt like a full 5 minutes, but probably wasn't, and it was some of the most tense 5 minutes I've ever watched.
There's also a pretty funny scene that raises the question of how hot a "fresh" female zombie actually is. I laughed my ass off, while also admitting I might have done the same thing.
Anyway, I don't want to make you think it is an amazing movie, but it is FAR better than I expected. I'm gonna give it 6/10 because of how well it did what it set out to do, but you need to realize it is slooooooow, on purpose. It held my interest, but it might not hold yours.
P.S. Jesus, I just looked it up. They made this fucking movie for $6000, and while I have no real desire to re-watch it, I'd rather see this 1000 times over hundreds of movies that had budgets in the millions.
They probably made this movie for a few thousand dollars, although I have no idea how much shit like cameras and editing and all that really costs, so who the fuck knows. But it can't have been very much at all. It is basically two guys roaming around the countryside after a zombie apocalypse. One guy sort of embraces the hand he has been dealt, the other guy is kind of in denial (listens to headphones instead of listening for motherfucking zombies, for example).
It was surprisingly good, all things considered. Not anything to blow you away, but this is what they mean when they talk about character driven movies. Aside from a few zombies and a couple of other humans, 95% of the movie is just the two of them coping with their situation and each other. A lot of stuff is off camera too, probably so they didn't have to spend money on special effects or paying actors/extras more, etc. And honestly, it works just fine, as your imagination supplies a better idea than actually showing it would have. There's a particularly tense scene at the end where all of the action is not only off camera, but we literally sit there and watch the other guy wait anxiously to find out what happened. It felt like a full 5 minutes, but probably wasn't, and it was some of the most tense 5 minutes I've ever watched.
There's also a pretty funny scene that raises the question of how hot a "fresh" female zombie actually is. I laughed my ass off, while also admitting I might have done the same thing.
Anyway, I don't want to make you think it is an amazing movie, but it is FAR better than I expected. I'm gonna give it 6/10 because of how well it did what it set out to do, but you need to realize it is slooooooow, on purpose. It held my interest, but it might not hold yours.
P.S. Jesus, I just looked it up. They made this fucking movie for $6000, and while I have no real desire to re-watch it, I'd rather see this 1000 times over hundreds of movies that had budgets in the millions.
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I would give this one a 7.5 based on just a fresh idea instead of the regurgitated bullshit the horror genre has turned into.
Still I did not like the ending that much, and also I would have liked this movie to explain WTF the stone was. (some backstory?)
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Chanur
Shit Posting Professional
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I have this movie and it is pretty solid for an indy flick. I wss going to tell you it cost 6k to make but i saw your edit down there at the bottom.
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Caliane
Avatar of War Slayer
- 15,327
- 11,625
Caliane
Avatar of War Slayer
- 15,327
- 11,625
6/10 Rattlesnake on Netflix.
This movie makes a catastrophic error in the very beginning.
A youngish mother moving out west, is traveling with her young daughter. Flat tire in the middle of the desert, pulls over to change it. and the daughter wanders off the road into the brush.
Gets bitten by a Rattlesnake. Flat tire, middle of the desert, no cell phone service, and a 5 yr old girl, bitten by a rattlesnake. The first 5 minutes of this movie is more terrifying then the rest of the movie combined.
she grabs the girl, and starts walking. 10s later finds an inexplicable trailer she apparently just didnt notice.. weird lady offers to help, and will discuss payment later. lady vanishes, and the girls wounds do to. Then the rest of the movie is the witch sending her stolen souls to demand payment of another soul, in exchange for the girls life. And none of this is remotely as terrifying, or heart wrenching as just getting bitten by a rattlesnake away from help.
This movie makes a catastrophic error in the very beginning.
A youngish mother moving out west, is traveling with her young daughter. Flat tire in the middle of the desert, pulls over to change it. and the daughter wanders off the road into the brush.
Gets bitten by a Rattlesnake. Flat tire, middle of the desert, no cell phone service, and a 5 yr old girl, bitten by a rattlesnake. The first 5 minutes of this movie is more terrifying then the rest of the movie combined.
she grabs the girl, and starts walking. 10s later finds an inexplicable trailer she apparently just didnt notice.. weird lady offers to help, and will discuss payment later. lady vanishes, and the girls wounds do to. Then the rest of the movie is the witch sending her stolen souls to demand payment of another soul, in exchange for the girls life. And none of this is remotely as terrifying, or heart wrenching as just getting bitten by a rattlesnake away from help.
Utnayan
F16 patrolling Rajaah until he plays DS3
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Gamma Rays
Large sized member
- 4,004
- 9,585
The 2nd Pacific Rim movie ( fuck I can't even give a shit enough to check what its called )
Anyways, it turned up on one of the streaming services. I knew it was supposed to be bad, but Jesus it was bad. At some stage in the writing process someone said "Hey, lets get one of the guys that was comedy relief in the first film, how about we make him the main bad guy in this one" the reaction to that should have been that 'get's thrown out the window meme. . . . no they actually went with it.
The only thing I liked was that Scott Eastwood, being like a clone of his father. I thought that was kinda cool.
Anyways, it turned up on one of the streaming services. I knew it was supposed to be bad, but Jesus it was bad. At some stage in the writing process someone said "Hey, lets get one of the guys that was comedy relief in the first film, how about we make him the main bad guy in this one" the reaction to that should have been that 'get's thrown out the window meme. . . . no they actually went with it.
The only thing I liked was that Scott Eastwood, being like a clone of his father. I thought that was kinda cool.
Rime
<Donor>
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It is. But the 'curb stomp' happens at 54 minutes into the film.
The prison rape scene is also present.
Both were 'removed' in various overseas versions at one point or another, but Netflix has the proper cut, as brutal as it may be.
Goatface
Avatar of War Slayer
- 9,883
- 15,659
3022 - A group of astronauts living in the haunting emptiness of deep space awake to find earth has suffered an extinction level event. Omar Epps, Kate Walsh
5/10 slow, dark (as in the budget didn't include for more than 1 light bulb per scene) , depressing
5/10 slow, dark (as in the budget didn't include for more than 1 light bulb per scene) , depressing
From Dusk till Dawn - 8/10. Still holds up after all these years. Unapologetic over-the-top action/horror fun.
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Crocodile Dundee - 7/10
It has some pacing issues and hasn't aged too well, but it's still a fun little movie with some memorable scenes. The ending scene in the subway is great.
It has some pacing issues and hasn't aged too well, but it's still a fun little movie with some memorable scenes. The ending scene in the subway is great.