Recommend a dating site

I just don't understand why you'd fix the crazy. Are you like "Everything about this girl is great. Except her personality. She's nuts. She is the girl of my dreams."

Tenks_sl said:

I just don't understand why you'd fix the crazy. Are you like "Everything about this girl is great. Except her personality. She's nuts. She is the girl of my dreams."

Click to expand...

Have you ever dated a crazy chick? Some of them are just batshit insane all-around, but there are plenty of "crazies" who are absolutely amazing in every way, except for one little area/situation/personality trait. In those cases it's very tempting to try and stick with her and fix the crazy because while the 5% of the time that she's going crazy sucks, the 95% of the time when she's awesome makes you want to keep her around.

McCheese_sl said:

Have you ever dated a crazy chick? Some of them are just batshit insane all-around, but there are plenty of "crazies" who are absolutely amazing in every way, except for one little area/situation/personality trait. In those cases it's very tempting to try and stick with her and fix the crazy because while the 5% of the time that she's going crazy sucks, the 95% of the time when she's awesome makes you want to keep her around.

Click to expand...

The other 5% she feeds you polonium.

McCheese_sl said:

The only way to deal with crazy is to run away. Far away. Working it out, therapy, understanding, whatever...it's all futile. Let the crazies find each other and the sane people enjoy their happy relationships without knives, poisons, and dead animals.

Click to expand...

Yeah I agree. It's not to say it doesn't work for some, but never in my life have I seen someone "fixed" through therapy, nor a couple "saved' via marriage counseling.

At this point she's entirely admitted that her behavior is crazy when she has a few drinks in her, and the agreement is now that she simply doesn't drink. If she does again or develops rages while sober, the game is over and she knows that.. A few weeks back after her last outburst I told her it wasn't just about me, but there was no fucking way on earth I could ever have a child with someone that exhibits that behavior. I'll be damned if my kid has to be exposed to that, or even worse develops the same type of behavior. That seriously seemed to strike home somewhere in her brain/heart, so she's been a good girl for the last bit (at least no rages). If it holds up great, if not she's gone. Of course there's also the duper defensiveness and infuriating ultra-sensitivity. Look at this gem from last night while we were sitting on the couch. To give you context "Brian" is some old, fat, alcoholic friend of hers that she's known for 10 years that I consider harmless.

Me: So what did you do with Brian last night?
GF: Oh it's so funny, we went to Mr. Sushi, he got drunk of course and told me he would always love me forever no matter what and that I'm the nicest, most beautiful person he's ever known.
Me: Sounds like he still wants to fuck you
GF: WHAT? That's really insulting, he's like a brother
Me: Why? It's not a reflection on you
GF: Yes it is, you're saying the only reason why he wants to be see me is so he can stick his dick in me.
Me: Huh, where did I say "only"?? You've known him for ten years, obviously there is more to it than that.
GF: Well, that's what you meant!
Me: How can you insist that's what I "meant" when the exact words I used don't imply that? Stop putting words in my mouth.
GF: Well, that's how I feel
Me: Well your feelings don't reflect the grammatical reality of what I said. However, even IF that's what I meant, I still don't see how "that's insulting"
GF: It's insulting because you're saying all I am to him is a possible fuck
ME: WTF, where do you come up with this stuff? You're hot, he's a dude that just fucking said he loves you. You'd have to be brain dead to not realize that he wants to fuck you. Even then, just because he wants to fuck you doesn't mean you don't have other qualities he values
GF: Well you definitely made it sound like all he wants to do is fuck me, and it's insulting
Me: Whatever sigh..
GF: goes upstairs and slams door.

Leave her. She was trying to bait you, you took the bait, fight ensued. That is not a healthy relationship. Get out ASAP.

Seriously Wombat. Aren't you like 40 or something? Stop dating 22 year olds.

Khane_sl said:

Seriously Wombat. Aren't you like 40 or something? Stop dating 22 year olds.

Click to expand...

She's 32

My dating cutoff is 29 years old, I'm not a complete pedo lol. Yeah I'm 40, but the thing is I would like a child one day. Dating 35-40 year old chicks would make that possibility far less likely.

Hoss_sl said:

I guess some of us want boring lives, and some of us don't. Honestly, if the exchange frenzied described is something you absolutely can't stomach, then you should consider going gay. For me, my crazy line in a girl is purposely destroying my stuff. As for the being a raging drunk ... meh. Happens to a lot of people. Happens to a lot of people I know and care for, and I just give it right back to them. They hit on a good solution, but you might want to get her to try some mary jane too. I've heard good things about mean drunks switching to the stuff.

Click to expand...

You can be too apathetic, and you can be too picky. Sounds to me like you're too apathetic. I might be too picky. That dumb broad was purposely trying to make wombat jealous, instead of ignoring it he instigated her. Actually, it sounds like they're perfect for each other. Wombat, if you like it put a ring on it bro.

Frenzied Wombat_sl said:

She's 32

My dating cutoff is 29 years old, I'm not a complete pedo lol. Yeah I'm 40, but the thing is I would like a child one day. Dating 35-40 year old chicks would make that possibility far less likely.

Click to expand...

I hear you on the kid thing. But that girl is 32 and still acting like that? Come on man...

McCheese_sl said:

Have you ever dated a crazy chick? Some of them are just batshit insane all-around, but there are plenty of "crazies" who are absolutely amazing in every way, except for one little area/situation/personality trait. In those cases it's very tempting to try and stick with her and fix the crazy because while the 5% of the time that she's going crazy sucks, the 95% of the time when she's awesome makes you want to keep her around.

Click to expand...

Exactly.. Out of a 100+ dates and numerous girlfriends since I moved here, she's the closest to checking all the compatibility boxes, which is why it's so frustrating to have to deal with the crazy.. Anyways, I know I'm fooling myself and clinging to false hope. If I were you guys I'd be telling me the same thing.

Khane_sl said:

You can be too apathetic, and you can be too picky. Sounds to me like you're too apathetic. I might be too picky. That dumb broad was purposely trying to make wombat jealous, instead of ignoring it he instigated her. Actually, it sounds like they're perfect for each other. Wombat, if you like it put a ring on it bro.

Click to expand...

Now now be nice.. I wasn't trying to instigate anything, at least not intentionally/consciously. I simply have a habit of stating fact which does consistently fuck me. However, ignoring her is a bad tactic-- then I get the "I'm shutting her out and don't communicate" lecture.

There 'aint no ring going on that finger bro. Not unless she can do a mental 180 and persist that way for a year straight (which I know isn't going to happen). There's a reason why I'm 40 and have never been married, and that's because I've seen countless friends married to crazies or women that raped them for all they're worth during a divorce battle. Even if I met 1/2supermodel and 1/2 mother Theresa, she's not getting a ring without a prenup. Don't confuse a relationship where one party reveals their true self after so many months with naivete, whether it be relationships or marriage. I probably rate 9/10 on the cynic scale when it comes to marriage.

Frenzied Wombat_sl said:

Now now be nice.. I wasn't trying to instigate anything, at least not intentionally/consciously. I simply have a habit of stating fact which does consistently fuck me. However, ignoring her is a bad tactic-- then I get the "I'm shutting her out and don't communicate" lecture.

There 'aint no ring going on that finger bro. Not unless she can do a mental 180 and persist that way for a year straight (which I know isn't going to happen). There's a reason why I'm 40 and have never been married, and that's because I've seen countless friends married to crazies or women that raped them for all they're worth during a divorce battle. Even if I met 1/2supermodel and 1/2 mother Theresa, she's not getting a ring without a prenup. Don't confuse a relationship where one party reveals their true self after so many months with naivete, whether it be relationships or marriage. I probably rate 9/10 on the cynic scale when it comes to marriage.

Click to expand...

Hey man I'm with ya, but that's why we're in this thread. To get some outsider perspective because we ain't as problem free as we like to think we are either.

So this is the new TGWBYHT.

Now that you guys mention it the "totally smart and hot sober girl" but becomes a shit show when she drinks was hands down the best lay I have ever had. She was so easy to get off it wasn't funny and she liked to experiment. I'm talking bondage, threesomes, you name it. If only she could have controlled how much she drinks and knew her limit I would have put a ring on her finger but if you can't trust your girlfriend when your out with family or friends, why even bother?

I must have an oddity where the girl I'm marrying is not even the least bit nuts. In the four years we've been dating she's gotten excessively drunk twice and she doesn't get violent she just starts randomly crying. When asked why she responds "I don't know." That is really about the worst of it. She is logical and approaches most situations more like a guy instead of emotionally. It isn't impossible to find a stable girl.

McCheese_sl said:

So this is the new TGWBYHT.

Click to expand...

No kidding. Can we consolidate these threads? It's the same content at this point.

Or better yet I could have someone else knock her up so I don't have to deal with the kid once its born. Genius!

Wuyley_sl said:

Or better yet I could have someone else knock her up so I don't have to deal with the kid once its born. Genius!

Click to expand...

As long as you don't sign the birth certificate.