Recommend a dating site

A few years back, buddy of mine got sick of not finding anything on the usual dating sites, so he decided to hit up Christianmingle.com. He is in no way religious whatsoever, I don't know that he's ever even been inside a church other than for a wedding or funeral. Anyways, finds this chick, they hit it off, they're going to church every sunday, bible class, etc. He ends up marrying her, they both seem happy even though he's pretty much faking the whole interest in religion just for her sake. Few months back she totally cheated on him and now they are getting divorced.

moral of the story: I have no idea

Somewhat covered but if you're writing a woman for the first time, don't put a ton of time and energy into it. Keep the message short but do tailor it to the specific profile works pretty well. No point in writing a huge letter for first contact if she takes one look at your profile and decides your not her type and doesn't even bother to write back. You need to find that middle ground between a total generic copy/paste first contact message and the 100 page biography and thesis on why the two of you are destined to be soul mates.

I've had luck with Match and OKCupid. I had no luck with eharmony.

I found match.com to be the best balance between all the sites. Eharmony's process was lame and you had to wait for them to send you profiles, most of which sucked. Matches would dry up, you'd cancel your membership, and then low and behold on the last day they would tease you with a slew of new matches. POF was just plain shit, attracting mostly broke fugly chicks that couldn't afford the $30 to use a real website. OKCupid was probably best from a technological aspect-- I really liked their 500+ questions you could answer that covered all sorts of topics. Unfortunately, since it is relatively free/cheap, it was just one category up from POF in terms of chick quality. At least in the Dallas area, most of the chicks were of the uneducated, tattoo'd, smoke a lot of pot demographic. Match.com I felt had mediocre matching technologies, but had the highest quantity/quality of women. There were a shit ton of "you must love Jesus" profile title chicks, but I attribute that more to living in fucking Texas than the site itself.

I love the chicks that claim up front that they're not having sex on the first date. Next thing you know that's exactly what happens. It always amuses me greatly.

Burnesto_sl said:

I love the chicks that claim up front that they're not having sex on the first date. Next thing you know that's exactly what happens. It always amuses me greatly.

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That's the same chick that fucks you on the first date and says "I swear I've never done this before" while making a barely token attempt to fend you off while simultaneously grabbing your dick. The next day she'll use the white wine spritzer she ordered at dinner as a pathetic excuse to make herself feel less slutty. These chicks are legion. It got to the point that it took real effort not to roll my eyes after the 5th time or so I heard that same line. If one of these chicks piss you off for some reason, I would highly recommend blowing your load into her ass crack and then say "I swear I've never done this before" while grinning as she looks back at you. She'll never call you again... But I guess that's the point.

Frenzied Wombat_sl said:

I found match.com to be the best balance between all the sites. Eharmony's process was lame and you had to wait for them to send you profiles, most of which sucked. Matches would dry up, you'd cancel your membership, and then low and behold on the last day they would tease you with a slew of new matches. POF was just plain shit, attracting mostly broke fugly chicks that couldn't afford the $30 to use a real website. OKCupid was probably best from a technological aspect-- I really liked their 500+ questions you could answer that covered all sorts of topics. Unfortunately, since it is relatively free/cheap, it was just one category up from POF in terms of chick quality. At least in the Dallas area, most of the chicks were of the uneducated, tattoo'd, smoke a lot of pot demographic. Match.com I felt had mediocre matching technologies, but had the highest quantity/quality of women. There were a shit ton of "you must love Jesus" profile title chicks, but I attribute that more to living in fucking Texas than the site itself.

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You've been fooled. On POF chicks are real, up front and have nothing to hide. On Match they're much more inclined to exaggerate to "put their best foot forward" to "get their money's worth". It's the same quality on the free sites, except the free sites have women who aren't trying to act like something they aren't (more so than Match anyway).

Never once on POF did I meet a dumb broad who was 100+ lbs heavier than her pictures. That happened at least 3 times on Match. I don't know what these girls are thinking when they post pics of themselves from 5 years ago before they started eating pizza for dessert but it's pretty impressive that they actually believe "if he just gets to know me he'll like me".

Also, Wombat... start looking for women who aren't potheads and willing to blow you on the first date and you'll find higher quality profiles. I specifically look for women with good careers and that alone usually weeds out 90% of the riff-raff. Though some of them are obvious liars, nothing you can do about that. It's par for the course on the internet.

Khane_sl said:

You've been fooled. On POF chicks are real, up front and have nothing to hide. On Match they're much more inclined to exaggerate to "put their best foot forward" to "get their money's worth". It's the same quality on the free sites, except the free sites have women who aren't trying to act like something they aren't (more so than Match anyway).

Never once on POF did I meet a dumb broad who was 100+ lbs heavier than her pictures. That happened at least 3 times on Match. I don't know what these girls are thinking when they post pics of themselves from 5 years ago before they started eating pizza for dessert but it's pretty impressive that they actually believe "if he just gets to know me he'll like me".

Also, Wombat... start looking for women who aren't potheads and willing to blow you on the first date and you'll find higher quality profiles. I specifically look for women with good careers and that alone usually weeds out 90% of the riff-raff. Though some of them are obvious liars, nothing you can do about that. It's par for the course on the internet.

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I never said that the chicks on POF weren't "Real" or "up front". I said they were mostly broke and fat. To elaborate more I'll also add "mostly illiterate" and "white trashy". Are there diamonds in the rough? Sure, but the fact of the matter is that the overall quality of women are better on a paid site vs a free one. The mechanics as to why really are a foregone conclusion. Also, its my experience that ALL chicks exaggerate body type and lifestyle, no matter what the site. It's like guys exaggerating job/income.

Also, where the fuck did I say that I actually seek out potheads and a 1st date blowjob? I'm fucking 40 years old, have a university degree, and a career that occasionally involves attending stuffy functions where I need a civilized, educated chick on my arm. There's a lot more of those on Match than POF. Did I mind the pothead blowjob chick when I was 25? Not at all-- in fact I sought it out lol, but it wasn't what I was looking for a year ago when I was actively dating.

Are there pothead, white trash, 1st date blowjob chicks on match? Sure, except unlike the 90% of the riff raff you have to filter through on POF, there are far less to deal with on Match.

PS: ALWAYS ask for a spontaneous cell phone pic before meeting the chick in question. Send her one of yourself first and she can't really say no. If her face is fatter than it is in her profile pic, then you just saved yourself a night and dinner $$$.

PPS: Almost every chick will bang you on the first date if she really likes you and knows she won't be held accountable by her judgmental girlfriends. Girls IMHO are actually hornier then guys, they just have to worry about being "judged" for being slutty.

I've been single for less than a month, and I have gone out with 3 women from OK Cupid, and slept with one of them. I have dates set up with 2 new girls in the next week and a 3rd date with one of the previous. I have yet to be catfished and the quality of women is pretty high.

As far as match.com, I heard if you're not a subscriber, you can't have conversations with people. Fuck that and fuck spending money.

Why don't you just message "DTF???" to as many people as possible and see what happens?

W4RH34D_sl said:

Mind walking us through it. How many messages before the subject of meeting comes up? Do you let them bring it up? Do you message right away or sit on it a while?

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The typical courting laws still apply to online dating for the most part. The girl wants to be asked out just like she does in every other venue, and she appreciates assertiveness. You should be asking for a phone number by the end of the 2nd email you send her, and assuming you like what you hear on the phone you should be asking her out on a date right then and there.

Keep in mind if she's attractive she gets a gazillion emails a day, so wasting time pussy-footing around sending email back and forth is a good way to fall off her radar.

Your 2nd email to her should end with something like "so, I think the best way to quickly get to know someone is talking on the phone, plus typing in this small box is such a pain. Shoot me your number and we can talk sometime"

Your phone conversation should NOT under any circumstances exceed 30 minutes or so no matter how much you hit it off. You need to leave her wanting more, plus have some quality topics to discuss when you meet her. Don't call her again until you meet. Your conversation should end along the lines of "Wow, I really had fun talking to you, you have time this week to meet up and grab a drink?". If she says yes, propose a day. If she says that day doesn't work, don't say any day will work for you, simply say "I'm busy on X and Y day, but Z day is fine" Try not to get sucked into an extensive txt message exchange leading up to the meeting date.

As for responding to an email do it the same day but outside of work hours. If you wait too long she can either be poached by someone else, or simply forget about you in the deluge of emails she receives.

Celebrindel: Yes, you can only communicate on Match if you pay. It's why you get an overall higher quality of chicks to select from. It weeds out those who are broke, as well as a gazillion people that just sign up to "check things out", or those that signed up on a whim because they were feeling unloved/insecure that day.

I'm usually pretty quick. Maybe 4 or 5 messages if I'm interested. I bring it up mostly.

Here are some messages for reference. Cropped from when I first said something to when I asked.

I've only browsed Match.com but is it just me or do a lot of these women's profiles make you feel totally inadequate? Makes me wonder how much of it is just bullshit.