What the fuck just happened.
This was the worst try-hard piece of no-humor garbage I've ever experienced. When within the first 60 seconds they felt the need to spell out and explain all the "jokes" up to that point, I knew I was in for a good time. Didn't laugh one time.
-edit-
Something that might have made me laugh: at some point, they're horrified to discover 7 wiping her mouth and licking her lips over the remains of a 9. No explanation, just reaction and let the audience put the pieces together. You know, like how witty humor is supposed to work.