Sisters of the Spires - by me!

Ukerric

Ukerric

Bearded Ape
<Silver Donator>
7,911
9,549
Void said:
I'm assuming you haven't written these somewhere else like Royal Road, so you might want to see if you can get into Kindle Unlimited. From what I understand (although I have no direct experience, just anecdotal evidence from an author friend) it can be more lucrative than selling digital copies, much less physical ones. I know that sounds counterintuitive, but that's how I had it explained to me at least. Worth checking out anyway.

Also, while I have no idea what it takes to get into KU, people that pay a fixed amount per month for any book they want are FAR more likely to take a chance on random books than if they have to spend the admittedly small sum you have them listed at, so it is easier to get views I would imagine.

Good luck, and perhaps I will pick the first one up soon. I always try to support upcoming authors out of the misguided hope that someday I might be one too.
Click to expand...
Independent authors live (and die) by Kindle Unlimited these days.

There was a big discussion recently (actually two, one starting with arguments "for" and one with arguments "against") on reddit's progression fantasy subreddit about that. When it comes to litrpg/progfan, the majority of the readers are young, with a relatively small amount of disposable income, and KU is their priority source for reading, since usually all it takes is read 2 books a month to get ahead. Everyone hates it for the authors, but they all use it, since the 'zon has a near monopoly on this.
(and everyone dreads the day they're going to flex those monopoly muscles to extract "more value" from KU)

Almost everyone reports that they get close to half their revenue from the KU way. Some authors have tried both. Selkie Myth started with the books on Amazon but not KU, then switched to KU for 90 days (minimum period), then back, before going again to KU. He noted that the difference was not that big, but when he was on KU, the number of people who followed the series on Royal Road increased a bit faster, and he also got a visible increase in Patreons. So KU is definitively a way to get people to discover and try your books and hook them to the series.

KU can be a good thing if you have chonkers of book. Phil Tucker (of Bastion fame, and more recently Dawn of the Void) noted in those threads that he actually gets more money when someone reads Bastion in Kindle Unlimited than if someone purchases his book outright (with the cut from Amazon on standard ebooks, he's below the cumulative amount from all 800 pages read on KU). Of course that's not the case with the books there, but just something to keep in mind.
 
J

JP-Andrews

9
16
Void said:
I'm assuming you haven't written these somewhere else like Royal Road, so you might want to see if you can get into Kindle Unlimited. From what I understand (although I have no direct experience, just anecdotal evidence from an author friend) it can be more lucrative than selling digital copies, much less physical ones. I know that sounds counterintuitive, but that's how I had it explained to me at least. Worth checking out anyway.

Also, while I have no idea what it takes to get into KU, people that pay a fixed amount per month for any book they want are FAR more likely to take a chance on random books than if they have to spend the admittedly small sum you have them listed at, so it is easier to get views I would imagine.

Good luck, and perhaps I will pick the first one up soon. I always try to support upcoming authors out of the misguided hope that someday I might be one too.
Click to expand...

No I have not put them anywhere else - I am putting them on KDP Select, that puts them on Kindle unlimited - so they should show up as available for that soon, if not already. Thanks for the idea on that.

Gave the editor the new blurbs last night so I look forward to seeing those and redesigning the back covers to something more polished.

KU seems fine to me, but you agree to not digitally release your book anywhere else- so its an obvious market domination setup. You get paid per page- they have some long thing that explains their methodology etc. in determining your page count.

So - if you have Kindle Unlimited, have at thee!

Thanks again!
 
  • 1Like
Reactions: 1 user
J

JP-Andrews

9
16
The new blurbs are up and should be represented on all item descriptions on Amazon, and I updated the Paperback and Hard Cover backs and I changed the font and alignment to something I think that looks better overall.

Thanks for the suggestions!

faille said:
Congrats on the release!

How do we get signed copies? 😉
Click to expand...

If you really want signed copies - message me and I'll get ya some.

I was thinking of attending a local ComicCon in August and buying a table to sell and stuff, guess that may be fun...or at least interesting!
 
Intrinsic

Intrinsic

Person of Whiteness
<Gold Donor>
14,238
11,670
Read about half of Book 1 last night. Really excited for you and glad you were able to get everything out and listed. No doubt it was a huge undertaking and something that is well beyond my capability to craft. Without getting in to specific story content and criticisms (which I'll hold until finishing the 1st book at the least), there are some immediate things that jumped out:

- Possibly there was some formatting error when it was translated to eBook? Almost every sentence is a new paragraph. I've seen some strange stuff happen in other books with bad line breaks, page breaks, etc. Wasn't sure if that was the case here. It makes reading odd though since I naturally want full thoughts or concepts organized by paragraph. When each sentence starts a new paragraph my mind keeps shifting as if expecting a new concept or idea.

- There may be more commas in the first 5 pages than in entire other books. Like, seriously, man. I felt like the world's worst user of commas posting on FoH and writing emails for work, but you definitely take that award. :p

- There are quite a few cases where you use the same descriptor at the start of a sentence and again at the end. "Gargle" comes to mind in one of the early book scenes. Something like "the blood gargled in her throat, etc etc etc, which ended in a gargle." I definitely don't want to comb through everything and act like a huge dick trying to point out all these little things, so apologies if it comes off like that. It just really stood out as it continued to happen.

- Along the same lines you do a lot of repeating the start of sentences, sometimes back-to-back. The paragraph breaks really highlight this because one paragraph start with "And then, Aubrey [did action.]" which is a single sentence. New paragraph "And then, Aubrey [did action.]" If that makes sense...

I also think you used the word "cast" instead of "caste" at one point? But then I got to thinking maybe you really did mean "cast" as in a play and were being clever about something.

Not sure if these were written from start to finish or if you jumped around and wrote chapters out of order. Mainly because I'm interested to see if the quality and style changes the more you hit your stride and started learning the characters better and how to write for them. I really think the paragraph thing stands out the most for me as a reader and impacts the overall content and quality of the story. It feels like there's more to flesh out with some of those actions and ideas but you're already writing the next [action] or [movement] and starting a new paragraph before finishing the previous.

It is an easy read though and I'll keep going!
 
J

JP-Andrews

9
16
Intrinsic said:
Read about half of Book 1 last night. Really excited for you and glad you were able to get everything out and listed. No doubt it was a huge undertaking and something that is well beyond my capability to craft. Without getting in to specific story content and criticisms (which I'll hold until finishing the 1st book at the least), there are some immediate things that jumped out:

- Possibly there was some formatting error when it was translated to eBook? Almost every sentence is a new paragraph. I've seen some strange stuff happen in other books with bad line breaks, page breaks, etc. Wasn't sure if that was the case here. It makes reading odd though since I naturally want full thoughts or concepts organized by paragraph. When each sentence starts a new paragraph my mind keeps shifting as if expecting a new concept or idea.

- There may be more commas in the first 5 pages than in entire other books. Like, seriously, man. I felt like the world's worst user of commas posting on FoH and writing emails for work, but you definitely take that award. :p

- There are quite a few cases where you use the same descriptor at the start of a sentence and again at the end. "Gargle" comes to mind in one of the early book scenes. Something like "the blood gargled in her throat, etc etc etc, which ended in a gargle." I definitely don't want to comb through everything and act like a huge dick trying to point out all these little things, so apologies if it comes off like that. It just really stood out as it continued to happen.

- Along the same lines you do a lot of repeating the start of sentences, sometimes back-to-back. The paragraph breaks really highlight this because one paragraph start with "And then, Aubrey [did action.]" which is a single sentence. New paragraph "And then, Aubrey [did action.]" If that makes sense...

I also think you used the word "cast" instead of "caste" at one point? But then I got to thinking maybe you really did mean "cast" as in a play and were being clever about something.

Not sure if these were written from start to finish or if you jumped around and wrote chapters out of order. Mainly because I'm interested to see if the quality and style changes the more you hit your stride and started learning the characters better and how to write for them. I really think the paragraph thing stands out the most for me as a reader and impacts the overall content and quality of the story. It feels like there's more to flesh out with some of those actions and ideas but you're already writing the next [action] or [movement] and starting a new paragraph before finishing the previous.

It is an easy read though and I'll keep going!
Click to expand...

Thanks for the update and feedback. I tried to catch many of the repeated descriptors - and even duplication in starting phraseology.

How KDP makes ebooks is very annoying as I cannot just use a PDF - and it likes to do its own thing with formatting- I will check it out and see if I can modify some things.

I am sure I just mis-used cast vs caste- ill search it.

I will also see if my editor can do a rehash of the first book... it took her a bit to get used to my (horrific) umm... /style/ of writing. So it could be good to give it another complete haul. This was her first fantasy book series to edit, her typical stuff is not this wheel house I am sure.

Usually I just do not use commas so I guess its over compensation ;-)

Yet, I am glad you did find it an easy read- that was one objective I got at least!
 
  • 1Like
Reactions: 1 user
Gavinmad

Gavinmad

Mr. Poopybutthole
42,356
50,384
They make punctuation checkers just like spellcheckers if you don't want to shell out for a professional proofreader, that would likely cut down on the redundant commas by at least 50%.
 
J

JP-Andrews

9
16
As for the paragraphing...

spoiler for size.


You are saying this current...

Aubrey pushed a silver-white strand of hair from her brow as she wiped away beads of sweat that poured over her face.

Five months, three days, and…, Aubrey calculated in her mind, Seven hours. Searching and digging. All to find, perhaps, some heretics, maybe.

She shook her head, expelling the moment of doubt in her mind. No, all heretical ideals must be destroyed, lest they fester and grow. Whatever the work, whatever the effort, push forward, for preservation of The Wills.

Aubrey let out a small grunt as she raised her pickaxe and struck at the wall of dirt in front of her. Then, as her body ached in protest, she chuckled. Yet, she reminded herself, This whole thing was my idea.

And so, in the faint flicker of torchlight Aubrey dug on, searching for those who would threaten to destroy her home, her protector, and her life’s guidance, The Sanctarium.



Aubrey paused and raised a questioning silver eyebrow that glistened in the dull light. She turned to a faint rustling sound drawing her attention away from the steady cadence of silence and crack of pick to stone that had enveloped her for unknown hours.

As she looked down the dark passageway behind her, the shadow of an approaching soldier grew and shrank along the damp dirt walls as it passed torch after torch. After a long moment, the skittering shadow resolved itself before her with a salute, faintly seen in the flickering orange flames.

“Sir,” the soldier smiled, “We found them.”

"We found them," she whispered to herself, relief flowing through her body and mind as she knew these efforts were now not in vain.

Them, she then asked herself, A group? This is not good, blasphemy is spreading within our world, and we shall…. she stopped and nodded to herself, and to the soldier as he stood in wait, … No, I shall end it.

“Outstanding news Johnathan,” Aubrey nodded again and returned the salute as she dropped her pickaxe to the ground, “Where?”

Should look more like this...

Aubrey pushed a silver-white strand of hair from her brow as she wiped away beads of sweat that poured over her face. Five months, three days, and…, Aubrey calculated in her mind, Seven hours. Searching and digging. All to find, perhaps, some heretics, maybe. She shook her head, expelling the moment of doubt in her mind. No, all heretical ideals must be destroyed, lest they fester and grow. Whatever the work, whatever the effort, push forward, for preservation of The Wills.

Aubrey let out a small grunt as she raised her pickaxe and struck at the wall of dirt in front of her. Then, as her body ached in protest, she chuckled. Yet, she reminded herself, This whole thing was my idea. And so, in the faint flicker of torchlight Aubrey dug on, searching for those who would threaten to destroy her home, her protector, and her life’s guidance, The Sanctarium.

Aubrey paused and raised a questioning silver eyebrow that glistened in the dull light. She turned to a faint rustling sound drawing her attention away from the steady cadence of silence and crack of pick to stone that had enveloped her for unknown hours. As she looked down the dark passageway behind her, the shadow of an approaching soldier grew and shrank along the damp dirt walls as it passed torch after torch. After a long moment, the skittering shadow resolved itself before her with a salute, faintly seen in the flickering orange flames.

“Sir,” the soldier smiled, “We found them.”

"We found them," she whispered to herself, relief flowing through her body and mind as she knew these efforts were now not in vain. Them, she then asked herself, A group? This is not good, blasphemy is spreading within our world, and we shall…. she stopped and nodded to herself, and to the soldier as he stood in wait, … No, I shall end it. “Outstanding news Johnathan,” Aubrey nodded again and returned the salute as she dropped her pickaxe to the ground, “Where?”

The way it displays here is a bit different, but you get the general idea.

And Gavinmad Gavinmad believe it or not, it was fully Grammarly etc. checked before I had the editor look it over.

I will see if she has time, as she has gotten other projects and jobs etc. since she did these, and as I said the first one was while ago. But I will see if she is willing to give them all another go. I do not mind paying her as I would rather pay a human than a program - but I may.

And if I change all the paragraphing it would be worth it to have her look things over again - even I rereading it I see things and its been so long since I have just "read" them- its interesting.
 
  • 1Like
Reactions: 1 user
Intrinsic

Intrinsic

Person of Whiteness
<Gold Donor>
14,238
11,670
JP-Andrews said:
As for the paragraphing...

spoiler for size.


You are saying this current...

Aubrey pushed a silver-white strand of hair from her brow as she wiped away beads of sweat that poured over her face.

Five months, three days, and…, Aubrey calculated in her mind, Seven hours. Searching and digging. All to find, perhaps, some heretics, maybe.

She shook her head, expelling the moment of doubt in her mind. No, all heretical ideals must be destroyed, lest they fester and grow. Whatever the work, whatever the effort, push forward, for preservation of The Wills.

Aubrey let out a small grunt as she raised her pickaxe and struck at the wall of dirt in front of her. Then, as her body ached in protest, she chuckled. Yet, she reminded herself, This whole thing was my idea.

And so, in the faint flicker of torchlight Aubrey dug on, searching for those who would threaten to destroy her home, her protector, and her life’s guidance, The Sanctarium.



Aubrey paused and raised a questioning silver eyebrow that glistened in the dull light. She turned to a faint rustling sound drawing her attention away from the steady cadence of silence and crack of pick to stone that had enveloped her for unknown hours.

As she looked down the dark passageway behind her, the shadow of an approaching soldier grew and shrank along the damp dirt walls as it passed torch after torch. After a long moment, the skittering shadow resolved itself before her with a salute, faintly seen in the flickering orange flames.

“Sir,” the soldier smiled, “We found them.”

"We found them," she whispered to herself, relief flowing through her body and mind as she knew these efforts were now not in vain.

Them, she then asked herself, A group? This is not good, blasphemy is spreading within our world, and we shall…. she stopped and nodded to herself, and to the soldier as he stood in wait, … No, I shall end it.

“Outstanding news Johnathan,” Aubrey nodded again and returned the salute as she dropped her pickaxe to the ground, “Where?”

Should look more like this...

Aubrey pushed a silver-white strand of hair from her brow as she wiped away beads of sweat that poured over her face. Five months, three days, and…, Aubrey calculated in her mind, Seven hours. Searching and digging. All to find, perhaps, some heretics, maybe. She shook her head, expelling the moment of doubt in her mind. No, all heretical ideals must be destroyed, lest they fester and grow. Whatever the work, whatever the effort, push forward, for preservation of The Wills.

Aubrey let out a small grunt as she raised her pickaxe and struck at the wall of dirt in front of her. Then, as her body ached in protest, she chuckled. Yet, she reminded herself, This whole thing was my idea. And so, in the faint flicker of torchlight Aubrey dug on, searching for those who would threaten to destroy her home, her protector, and her life’s guidance, The Sanctarium.

Aubrey paused and raised a questioning silver eyebrow that glistened in the dull light. She turned to a faint rustling sound drawing her attention away from the steady cadence of silence and crack of pick to stone that had enveloped her for unknown hours. As she looked down the dark passageway behind her, the shadow of an approaching soldier grew and shrank along the damp dirt walls as it passed torch after torch. After a long moment, the skittering shadow resolved itself before her with a salute, faintly seen in the flickering orange flames.

“Sir,” the soldier smiled, “We found them.”

"We found them," she whispered to herself, relief flowing through her body and mind as she knew these efforts were now not in vain. Them, she then asked herself, A group? This is not good, blasphemy is spreading within our world, and we shall…. she stopped and nodded to herself, and to the soldier as he stood in wait, … No, I shall end it. “Outstanding news Johnathan,” Aubrey nodded again and returned the salute as she dropped her pickaxe to the ground, “Where?”

The way it displays here is a bit different, but you get the general idea.

And Gavinmad Gavinmad believe it or not, it was fully Grammarly etc. checked before I had the editor look it over.

I will see if she has time, as she has gotten other projects and jobs etc. since she did these, and as I said the first one was while ago. But I will see if she is willing to give them all another go. I do not mind paying her as I would rather pay a human than a program - but I may.

And if I change all the paragraphing it would be worth it to have her look things over again - even I rereading it I see things and its been so long since I have just "read" them- its interesting.
Click to expand...

Yeah, exactly. And to reiterate this is just my perspective on how it goes together in my head. It may not be your style or anything! So not suggesting it is wrong. I think I had a similar complaint about Gideon The Ninth by Tamsyn Muir and it being difficult to get a good rhythm going. So hey, what do I know. Those books are mad popular and I have been wanting to read Nona The Ninth since last September, just been backlogged.
 
  • 1Like
Reactions: 1 user
J

JP-Andrews

9
16
Intrinsic said:
Yeah, exactly. And to reiterate this is just my perspective on how it goes together in my head. It may not be your style or anything! So not suggesting it is wrong. I think I had a similar complaint about Gideon The Ninth by Tamsyn Muir and it being difficult to get a good rhythm going. So hey, what do I know. Those books are mad popular and I have been wanting to read Nona The Ninth since last September, just been backlogged.
Click to expand...

I think it does have to do with some of the formatting difference between how it looks printed and on the e-reader. However formatting is no real reason for proper formatting. But as you said I think its a style thing rather than not, Fantasy novels do not always follow the main rules or even their same rules it seems. Some of it stems from whenever there is a dialogue between multiple characters they each are their own "paragraph". I separated out internal discussion / monologue and external.. so if she thought to herself something, then said something outlet - it would be separate- just as if it was two different people in terms of formatting - rather than one continuing paragraph. Because of this, big paragraph "breaks" usually are, as you said are "bigger" hence why in how I formatted them, they are "double" spaced.

I will go through book 1 and revise it as such - in doing so, it will also force me to reexamines the opening description phrases as you mentioned - generally I re-named the character (i.e. Aubery said vs, She said) anytime the preceding statement was not that person - but I will be the first to admit that may not always be the case, this process even if just an exercise will I think help show those situations and give me a chance to fix them.
 
Conefed

Conefed

Blackwing Lair Raider
2,809
1,650
JP-Andrews said:
Hello most awesome FOH forum friends. I was a long time member but have gone lurker mode for the past while.

I wanted to share with you that I have published a series for four fantasy books, The Sisters of the Spires: Wind, Earth, Fire and Ice.

They are on Amazon here:
They are available on paperback, hardcover and Kindle eBook.

I wrote them in hopes of them one day helping my daughters discover reading fantasy novels and the fun, joy and excitement I had when doing so "back in the day".

They follow the adventures of four women throughout the long history of the world of The Sanctarium.

They were written in their series order Wind, Earth, Fire, Ice - however chronologically they are Fire, Earth, Ice then Wind - but I generally feel the narrative is best in written order.

The process was long over a good few years - I finally had to just pay an editor I used to go to school with, that helped so much.

The plots are, as I am sure you have figured from the titles, a basic type of fantasy tropes, such as the four elements etc. etc. but I feel there is some uniqueness and an interesting world to explore and learn about.

Please feel free to ask any questions! And one last little bit of a tip- the chapters flip from "Present" to "Flashback" - while I started and had the first book "written" before both of these examples- its like The Witcher TV series and TOGO movie about the sled dog- the flashbacks are as much of a complete story that meet up with the present, I made them each their own chapters and moved back and forth... there are cues in the start of each to show what "timeline" you are in... I have gotten some feedback that I should notate this in the books, table of contents and or chapters somehow - but once you get into it, it works from everyone that has done a test reading for me.

I am sure there will be criticisms and such, but I hope if you choose to check it out, you are able to sit down with a warm cup of cinnamilk and find them an entertaining read at the least :)

Thanks FOH, stay... FOH-y?
Click to expand...
Server, character, guild?
 
J

JP-Andrews

9
16
Conefed said:
Server, character, guild?
Click to expand...
Veeshan, I made this account so it wouldn't be linked to my main in game name(s), Whispers of Fate and Primus Exodus would most likely be the only two that anyone would recall, at our prime we were solid b-tier, we rarely encounter FoH, CoE, PD etc. except when they took steps back to gear new recruits/alts.
 
  • 2Like
Reactions: 1 users
faille

faille

Molten Core Raider
1,832
422
JP-Andrews said:
Veeshan, I made this account so it wouldn't be linked to my main in game name(s), Whispers of Fate and Primus Exodus would most likely be the only two that anyone would recall, at our prime we were solid b-tier, we rarely encounter FoH, CoE, PD etc. except when they took steps back to gear new recruits/alts.
Click to expand...
all but one of those were solid B-tiers ;)
 
  • 1Worf
Reactions: 1 user
J

JP-Andrews

9
16
faille said:
all but one of those were solid B-tiers ;)
Click to expand...

Touche ;-)

Looking back all those years, reading other servers and their turmoil with their "Uber Guilds" - life with FoH was peachy in retrospect.

I remember when Furor posted about killing Seru, and said something about super secret leet stratz... I actually sent him a tell a few days after the post asking, and he was like "Just a kinda joke about corner tanking and how that is every strat to every fight lol" and he then explained some stuff about how it helps with this that and the other mechanics type things. And this was to a random me lol. He could have ignored, what I expected, or just randomly cursed me out for funs.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.