Because realistically speaking, I'd love to have that job, but I don't know if I am talented enough to get past HR departments. For one, I have very little work that I can put on resumes. I don't have a college degree in computer science. I have no real games industry experience beyond game emulation and the private server projects i've contributed to.
I mean most of the work, in example, for the EQMac emulator was already done for me. I just made a shoddy interface for handling packets from the EQMac client and bridged that to EQEmulator. The code largely uses 0.5.5 EQEmulator's netcode as a base. I already have immense guilt every time someone attempts to credit me for that, because it's not something I should be credited for. Let alone use it to try and get a job.
As for the private server projects... some of them are shady. I can't put them on a resume because I'm afraid to. Example; the GunZ: The Duel stuff I made is really cool. But the base code for that game was leaked from the original developers, and essentially what I do for that game is akin to 'modding' Quake or some other game that has the full source available. But again, the engine for the game isn't something I've wrote from scratch. It's something I expanded on.
Example; this.
http://forum.ragezone.com/f245/captu...e-mode-878670/
Spent a good week doing that with a couple of 3D artists. If I were to put that on a resume, other questions would come up. Sure, the entire game's source code is listed on that website by the way. But is it legal? Debatable. But if that got brought up during a hiring process and I was honest, would that effect my chances? Would they believe me when I said that I only have an interest in improving games instead of ripping them off? These are all things that go through my mind when I'm putting something on a resume.
No one wants to hire someone that worked on publicly leaked code due to how shady that is in the first place. So here I am, still plugging away at random projects like EQEmulator because of that very reason. I've tried to apply to places in the past. I'm pretty sure the reason I didn't get hired is one of the reasons I've listed in my post.
