Star Wars: The Force Awakens (2015)
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Guest, it's time once again for the massively important and exciting FoH Asshat Tournament!
Go here and give us your nominations!Who's been the biggest Asshat in the last year? Give us your worst ones!
Lithose
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It was retarded to have clones for the Republic anyway...I love how the Jedi believed the other side was bad, meanwhile they are using a living sentient army, that even unlike droids can feel pain and fear. Fuck me, there are so many ways to easily say the Jedi were the evil ones.
Stories would have been better, IMO, if the Jedi used droid armies, combined with their own skill to keep the peace. A new faction shows up with clones, and a super weapon that disables droids (Any advanced AI, but leaves lower end computers functional). New faction is small, but thanks to super effective/fearless clones that are indoctrinated and can blend in and even blow themselves up when needed (Obvious correlation), the new faction is able to destabilize some systems, gets them to leave the Republic because the Republic is gridlocked and can't aid them (Make it a corollary to the U.S. senate, with the Emperor's faction shitting on every form of governance hoping to kill the system.).....Eventually to respond to threat, the Jedi begin raising an old fashioned army (Storm Troopers).
Anakin's fall should have been about him caring about his men, seeing his men constantly butchered or maimed because of political incompetence, which he blames on how the republic works (Even if it was the the Emperor.) Make it a strong parallel to a lot of modern wars where one army feels hamstrung by politics and half measures...You know, have a scene where they want to bombard a base because it's teeming with clones, but they can't get approval because the commanders believe it might have civilians, and the Senate has ordered no use of X or Y...Have Anakins friends forced to go door to door on foot and get maimed/killed. Then finally, after years of this, have Anakin snap and start using his force powers in violently destructive but highly effective ways....Then have him start going rogue and using the measures the Senate forbids. Always have a back drop of him saving lives AND being effective, make the story a logical, compelling one about how he'll save more lives if he can make it a shorter war and the injustice of being forced to fight a war in ways that are politically motivated.
Darth Vader's rise shouldn't have been concern over a vision, or petulance due to his "skills" not being recognized. It should have been motivated by the need to bring effective order to the Galaxy, that wasn't trapped in the concerns of popularity and bureaucracy. And they could have used normal soldiers to put a personal face on that, showed how it twisted him up having the power to win, and save his men, and yet having a hand tied behind his back and forced to watch as they suffered....In any case, the Jedi having clones was not just dumb on the surface, for a lot of reasons, but it was also a huge missed opportunity.
Stories would have been better, IMO, if the Jedi used droid armies, combined with their own skill to keep the peace. A new faction shows up with clones, and a super weapon that disables droids (Any advanced AI, but leaves lower end computers functional). New faction is small, but thanks to super effective/fearless clones that are indoctrinated and can blend in and even blow themselves up when needed (Obvious correlation), the new faction is able to destabilize some systems, gets them to leave the Republic because the Republic is gridlocked and can't aid them (Make it a corollary to the U.S. senate, with the Emperor's faction shitting on every form of governance hoping to kill the system.).....Eventually to respond to threat, the Jedi begin raising an old fashioned army (Storm Troopers).
Anakin's fall should have been about him caring about his men, seeing his men constantly butchered or maimed because of political incompetence, which he blames on how the republic works (Even if it was the the Emperor.) Make it a strong parallel to a lot of modern wars where one army feels hamstrung by politics and half measures...You know, have a scene where they want to bombard a base because it's teeming with clones, but they can't get approval because the commanders believe it might have civilians, and the Senate has ordered no use of X or Y...Have Anakins friends forced to go door to door on foot and get maimed/killed. Then finally, after years of this, have Anakin snap and start using his force powers in violently destructive but highly effective ways....Then have him start going rogue and using the measures the Senate forbids. Always have a back drop of him saving lives AND being effective, make the story a logical, compelling one about how he'll save more lives if he can make it a shorter war and the injustice of being forced to fight a war in ways that are politically motivated.
Darth Vader's rise shouldn't have been concern over a vision, or petulance due to his "skills" not being recognized. It should have been motivated by the need to bring effective order to the Galaxy, that wasn't trapped in the concerns of popularity and bureaucracy. And they could have used normal soldiers to put a personal face on that, showed how it twisted him up having the power to win, and save his men, and yet having a hand tied behind his back and forced to watch as they suffered....In any case, the Jedi having clones was not just dumb on the surface, for a lot of reasons, but it was also a huge missed opportunity.
So Vader is basically Hitler, and the clone wars should have been WWI.
Oh and the dark side of the force is the syphilis that made him crazy.
Its not bad.
Royal
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It wasn't the dark side that did it. It was pining away for that Portman pussy for years on end without any satisfaction that made him mental.
Xevy
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The Edge
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No, it definitely should not. Light side teaching is essentially Buddhist philosophy. Anakin's downfall, which he was warned about throughout the prequels, always had to do with attachment. Non-attachment is a major doctrine of Buddhist belief, so this made perfect sense. He was attached to his mother and her fate, he was attached to Padme and her fate, and he was attached to his ego. With attachment, comes fear of losing whatever you are attached to. And as we know, fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate, etc. This is always how it had to be. Anakin's story is one of fear. The people he cared about, end up dying, and this frightens him. Qui-Gon, Shmi, Padme. All dead. Yoda tried teaching not to be afraid of death, but to "rejoice for those that transform into the Force." Ironically, Padme tried telling him in Attack of the Clones that she was not afraid to die. His inability to let go ultimately did him in, as he set forth to stop people from dying instead of recognizing it as a natural part of life. It made perfect sense for this to be the catalyst.
Seananigans
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Famm
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Someone shoulda just chopped off this kid's head, Yoda sensed grave danger in his training, fuck that. OVERRULED, Qui-Gon. Go settle some trade disputes in the outer rim for a while, we'll call if we need your dumb ass. And don't bring any more "chosen ones" back here newb.
Lithose
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Oh I was talking about making a good movie, Edge. Not your useless Eastern Philosophy degree.
Sterling
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rhinohelix
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You can make that into a good movie, you just have to have a good movie maker write/direct it. That is something that Lucas was on his way to being before Star Wars ruined him. He should sold the movies a long time, after he ewok-sold out.
Note: In both Trilogies, Lucas is writing autobiographically. In the OT he sees, (consciously or unconsciously) is Luke, taking on the Hollywood Empire and emerging with his soul. In the PT, he unwittingly is Anakin who falls completely to the dark side. I wonder if he ever searches his feelings and knows it to be true.
Azrayne
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I dunno. I think the prequels sucked as much as anyone, and whether they're inline with Buddhist philosophy or not doesn't change that, but I'm not sure I'd want a Star Wars which is all "heh, get it, it's a reference to modern political events, get it, this, this here is a parallel to that thing that happened last year, see all the connections to real life, how the stuff happening in the movie correlates to the stuff you see on the news?" either. Just doesn't fit the vibe of the series - that's not what people like about SW. Let an escapist space opera just be an escapist space opera. If you want a commentary on the political and military reaction to Middle Eastern terrorism, go watch BSG.
khorum
Murder Apologist
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That would've been a waaaaay better turn for Anakin than the shit Lucas wrote for sure. Granted that's not saying much. But it would've laid the groundwork better than some dumb shit about Darth Plageuis having some sith juju that would've saved Padme.
It could've been a more organic arc where Anakin never thought he was "turning" at all and felt he was doing the "right thing". He just grows more and more convinced that the Jedis were the most oppressive influences in the galaxy, kinda like that semi-joke article about9 reasons why the Jedi were actually the bad guys. Basically Anakin goes from thinking he's working for a shitty UN as a spacecop, then he realizes he's working for a cultish galactic gestapo that kidnaps gifted kids to raise into unquestioning spacecops, then Palpatine convinces him to become a whistleblower and help him stop the corrupt spacecop jedi force before it destroys the republic.
Ah well, we're stuck with midi-chlorians and jarjar.
DickTrickle
Definitely NOT Furor Planedefiler
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Kind of sad and somewhat racist, but at least you have some awareness it didn't seem right. Also validates complaints from minorities and sjws about not feeling represented. It's okay to not include certain types of people until a white dude can't "relate". Every group in power and dominance fights against giving up some of it even if that step actually does create more equality and representation.
khorum
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Not feeling represented?
I suppose since the major POC figure of the original trilogy was a self-made man who pulled himself up by his bootstraps to start his own gas-mining enterprise and grow it into a multicultural trading hub by determined hard work, then yeah, worthless narcissistic do-nothing SJWs __WOULD__ feel underrepresented.
Didn't matter that Lando also few the falcon and blew up the death star... nope, he was a shitlord who didn't drown the whole fucking universe with intimations of his tenderness and vulnerability so he doesn't count.
I suppose since the major POC figure of the original trilogy was a self-made man who pulled himself up by his bootstraps to start his own gas-mining enterprise and grow it into a multicultural trading hub by determined hard work, then yeah, worthless narcissistic do-nothing SJWs __WOULD__ feel underrepresented.
Didn't matter that Lando also few the falcon and blew up the death star... nope, he was a shitlord who didn't drown the whole fucking universe with intimations of his tenderness and vulnerability so he doesn't count.
Hoss
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DickTrickle
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He was still a side character and also initially betrayed the heroes (even if somewhat forced). But if you think they should have no problem with the original series then white men shouldn't have issues with this one. Still plenty of white and/or male heroes.
However, once a black dude becomes a main heroic character, oh no, white dudes can't relate. It is so ridiculous. It's not like this is a story about inner city life. This is all fiction not substantially grounded in any real life culture or experience. Frenzied, maul, and whoever else are basically saying he can't relate because of skin color (well, and their own racist projections). It makes no rational sense.
However, once a black dude becomes a main heroic character, oh no, white dudes can't relate. It is so ridiculous. It's not like this is a story about inner city life. This is all fiction not substantially grounded in any real life culture or experience. Frenzied, maul, and whoever else are basically saying he can't relate because of skin color (well, and their own racist projections). It makes no rational sense.