starting new job -- should I lie to HR and say i'm a homo?

I just tell them I'm an upper-middle-class heterosexual white male, we all high five, and I get into middle management where I can hide my laziness and incompetence.

hodj_sl said:

Nah, most gay porn actors are straight in real life.

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Yeah. "Gay for pay".

I dunno about most though. The ones who do straight, gay, and bi porn sure. Most of them probably are or at least on the lower half of the Kinsey scale. The ones who are exclusively doing gay gigs though, I doubt it.

kegkilla_sl said:

i'm not a prospective employee -- i've accepted the job offer. i'm doing the HR paperwork.

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Oh it's probably one of those 'you dont have to answer this' questions.

I dunno, seems like lying could backfire on you down the road somehow.

You'll never pull it off Keg, you might be able to get away with banging a hot chick and pretending you were drunk and just experimenting but when your fat as shit pregnant girlfriend starts coming around they'll sniff out your true colors instantly.

Could maybe get away with claiming to be gender fluid, because nobody at HR will want to touch that with a 10 foot pole.

Sue them on the first day and then when you get fired you can claim it was over the lawsuit and get millions

LGBT is so vague who cares. They can't share it, if they get suspicious and you say you are bi what could they do? Ask for video proof? If you always out with women and/or bros how could they tell the difference.

As a guy it is nearly impossible to break into straight porn unless you also bring the girl(s). If you can prove you can keep a boner doing some gay shit you might have a chance of getting a straight gig.

As to the op, I'd totally put down gay, but you'd better be able to back it up. Much like dude porn stars having to go 'gay for pay' if you want to get that minority promotion you might end up having to back up your claims. Probably much in the same manner a girl gets the 'I'm a hot chick' promotion.

I put down black woman so I can get into IT project management.

Khane_sl said:

You'll never pull it off Keg, you might be able to get away with banging a hot chick and pretending you were drunk and just experimenting but when your fat as shit pregnant girlfriend starts coming around they'll sniff out your true colors instantly.

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Nah just tell them she's your sister. And tell her to stop launching herself at your dick when she's near your workplace.

tell them you're an animal enthusiast

Just tell them you listen to Nickelback that way they'll know you aren't lying.

Gavinmad_sl said:

Since it's almost certainly against federal law to ask a prospective employee their sexual orientation, yeah, you're trolling.

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Pretty sure it's not against any federal law. It's against some state laws, but not all

Oh, and just pull out the list of pronouns you identify with. Should do the trick

The pragmatic and Machiavellian Darwinian political answer is to put 'other' for everything.

Try to exist in the philosophical grey-area.

No one with a General Anthony level of homicidal ideations in their psyche can find you there. At least? I dunno. Shit.

Just keep sucking dick and be honest about it. We won't judge you.

Rachel Dolezal did it, why cant you? Tell them you identify with being a gay black man.