Why didn't they just fly it where they needed it to go?
Not sure if serious, but the 2 747s that flew them around were retired in 2012, that is, if the destination even had a run way, and it was long enough.
Shuttle Carrier Aircraft - Wikipedia
en.wikipedia.org
How the fuck did he manage to stay on top and not get buried?
This is a tad more than oddly satisfying.