The Astronomy Thread

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Sadre Spinegnawer

Sadre Spinegnawer

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heh. it's 420. it's page 420. in an astronomy thread. get it? heh.
Sanrith Descartes said:
Didnt they use that to save the day in Armageddon? Or was it Deep Impact? Same fucking movie.
Click to expand...

I have watched both many times. There are some extremely clear differences. One movie is, from beginning to end, all about Liv Tyler's snatch. Who's gonna get it? Is it ok with Dad if Ben Affleck gets Liv's snatch? Wait, asteroid. Ok, so he can have your snatch. The end.

The other movie is about a Jody Foster in Contact/Jane Fonda in The China Syndrome type, discovering who ELE is, and then having a touching reunion in Montauk with some weird Saudi banker as they die, and meanwhile Colonel Kilgore in Space says "Not on my watch!" as he dies so it technically does not happen on his watch. The end.

The only thing is an asteroid is a-comin'. I say, it should be a yearly thing. Like every August, we celebrate "Goddamn it's heading straight for us!" Day, and Hollywood releases ALWAYS TWO blockbuster asteroid movies, and we all have watch parties and debate who should get the elven snatch, or if the grizzled veteran still did have some things to teach us right before he dies as a Saudi banker and his daughter get swept into the ocean. "Man, you down for the asteroid weekend?" "Does Mike Pence hold it in? Which one we watchin?" "Snatch baby, what else!"
 
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Sanrith Descartes

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Sadre Spinegnawer said:
heh. it's 420. it's page 420. in an astronomy thread. get it? heh.


I have watched both many times. There are some extremely clear differences. One movie is, from beginning to end, all about Liv Tyler's snatch. Who's gonna get it? Is it ok with Dad if Ben Affleck gets Liv's snatch? Wait, asteroid. Ok, so he can have your snatch. The end.

The other movie is about a Jody Foster in Contact/Jane Fonda in The China Syndrome type, discovering who ELE is, and then having a touching reunion in Montauk with some weird Saudi banker as they die, and meanwhile Colonel Kilgore in Space says "Not on my watch!" as he dies so it technically does not happen on his watch. The end.

The only thing is an asteroid is a-comin'. I say, it should be a yearly thing. Like every August, we celebrate "Goddamn it's heading straight for us!" Day, and Hollywood releases ALWAYS TWO blockbuster asteroid movies, and we all have watch parties and debate who should get the elven snatch, or if the grizzled veteran still did have some things to teach us right before he dies as a Saudi banker and his daughter get swept into the ocean. "Man, you down for the asteroid weekend?" "Does Mike Pence hold it in? Which one we watchin?" "Snatch baby, what else!"
Click to expand...
Both are based on Lucifer's Hammer. Armageddon has some decent chuckles and a less "heavyweight" class of actors.

They are both good for a rewatch for different reasons
 
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Brad2770

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Sanrith Descartes said:
Both are based on Lucifer's Hammer. Armageddon has some decent chuckles and a less "heavyweight" class of actors.

They are both good for a rewatch for different reasons
Click to expand...
Thanks for the book recommendation. Looks like something I would like.
 
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Oldbased

Oldbased

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Sadre Spinegnawer said:
heh. it's 420. it's page 420. in an astronomy thread. get it? heh.


I have watched both many times. There are some extremely clear differences. One movie is, from beginning to end, all about Liv Tyler's snatch. Who's gonna get it? Is it ok with Dad if Ben Affleck gets Liv's snatch? Wait, asteroid. Ok, so he can have your snatch. The end.

The other movie is about a Jody Foster in Contact/Jane Fonda in The China Syndrome type, discovering who ELE is, and then having a touching reunion in Montauk with some weird Saudi banker as they die, and meanwhile Colonel Kilgore in Space says "Not on my watch!" as he dies so it technically does not happen on his watch. The end.

The only thing is an asteroid is a-comin'. I say, it should be a yearly thing. Like every August, we celebrate "Goddamn it's heading straight for us!" Day, and Hollywood releases ALWAYS TWO blockbuster asteroid movies, and we all have watch parties and debate who should get the elven snatch, or if the grizzled veteran still did have some things to teach us right before he dies as a Saudi banker and his daughter get swept into the ocean. "Man, you down for the asteroid weekend?" "Does Mike Pence hold it in? Which one we watchin?" "Snatch baby, what else!"
Click to expand...
I don't see Harry Stamper on her pussy. AJ can have it. Not like he has a say in it after all cause he stayed behind to push the button on the malfunctioning nuke, which every single movie with a nuke has it malfunction timer wise in some way. You'd think they would fix that shit.
 
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Sadre Spinegnawer

Sadre Spinegnawer

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If I wrote Armageddon, I would have Harry Stamper be an incel frustrated at all the sex on board his oil rig. Liv Tyler is screwing everyone except the rig itself. First third of the movie is mostly softcore.

But she really falls for Ben Affleck, but then asteroid.

Oldbased said:
Not like he has a say in it after all cause he stayed behind to push the button on the malfunctioning nuke, which every single movie with a nuke has it malfunction timer wise in some way. You'd think they would fix that shit.
Click to expand...

Exactly. In my version, the whole asteroid thing happens, they get up in space, and then Harry reveals he is some sick Wrath of Khan type, and he starts quoting Milton back to Earth as he does this complicated manual override. He supposedly sends his crew back to Earth in an emergency shuttle, but then cuts to a grainy video feed of him laughing, Ben Affleck terrified and tied to the chair to him, as Harry reaches his finger toward the button. "This is what you get for being a slut, Gracey." Kaboom.

Aerosmith's "Don't Wanna Miss A Thing" is still the song that plays over all this?
 
Oldbased

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Sadre Spinegnawer said:
If I wrote Armageddon, I would have Harry Stamper be an incel frustrated at all the sex on board his oil rig. Liv Tyler is screwing everyone except the rig itself. First third of the movie is mostly softcore.

But she really falls for Ben Affleck, but then asteroid.



Exactly. In my version, the whole asteroid thing happens, they get up in space, and then Harry reveals he is some sick Wrath of Khan type, and he starts quoting Milton back to Earth as he does this complicated manual override. He supposedly sends his crew back to Earth in an emergency shuttle, but then cuts to a grainy video feed of him laughing, Ben Affleck terrified and tied to the chair to him, as Harry reaches his finger toward the button. "This is what you get for being a slut, Gracey." Kaboom.

Aerosmith's "Don't Wanna Miss A Thing" is still the song that plays over all this?
Click to expand...
No replaced with a modified song called Harry has a gun
What would your daddy dooooooo? If Harry pushed a button on youuuuuuu. Run away run away from the nuke
 
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Kiroy

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Sanrith Descartes said:
Now I might have to go reread it again.
Click to expand...

my last 30 seconds

1670638049880.png
 
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Sanrith Descartes

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Ps.. i know we all think of Amazon but Ebay and Abe's Books usually have better prices on old paperbacks I have found.
 
Gravel

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Hard to get excited about a spaceship crashing into the ocean when the technology is now there to, you know...not.

It'd be like celebrating a car stopping by driving into a giant net instead of just braking.
 
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Sanrith Descartes

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