Palum
what Suineg set it to
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The Hobbit: The Battle of the Five Armies (2014)
- Thread starter Terial
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Guest, it's time once again for the massively important and exciting FoH Asshat Tournament!
Go here and give us your nominations!Who's been the biggest Asshat in the last year? Give us your worst ones!
Royal
Connoisseur of Exotic Pictures
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Hopefully Peter Jackson's ego has ballooned to the point that he won't deign to be involved with this.
Runnen
Vyemm Raider
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Your mileage may vary. The first time I read the Silmarillion it was like reading a phone book of Middle Earth because it's seemingly just a bunch of names assorted to unclear actions and every character has multiple names in various languages or depending on which era it is happening.. but after all these years and reading through it multiple times, there are some genuinely awesome parts to it too. The Fall of Numenor, the creation of Arda by Illuvatar, the Darkening of Valinor, everything involving Morgoth, Ungoliant, etc... that would make for some pretty epic visuals, but I can't see an actual proper story being written for a movie for this kind of book. It's my definition of unfilmable, at least in the current movie format and how you need to make a movie for it to be a success.
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There are some pretty awesome wiki articles on those era's, would love to see something made that had the final fight of Morgoth & balrogs/dragons/hell spawn and shit against the world. If there is one genre/history that always gets me sucked into the worm hole of wikipedia links and offshoots its the LotR/Silm world.
Chris
Potato del Grande
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Silmarillion is basically a mix of creation myth, history book and two pretty much finished stories with the Children of Hurin and Beren & Luthien. There should be a third story with Tuor which is kind of the finale to the whole thing but isn't in a very finished state.
I found the whole thing really interesting but you need to be really into your history and Lord of the Rings to get it, explains all the weird elf and wizard shit from Lord of the Rings. The histories have some awesome moments like Fingolfin vs Morgoth. If you don't want to delve too deep try getting just Children of Hurin or Beren & Luthien in a seperate book.
Children of Hurin is fucking DARK, his kids get cursed by Morgoth and accidentally destroy every kingdom they touch and then eventually each other, all while Hurin watches with cursed sight. Beren & Luthien is probably more familiar as it's basically a similar story to Aragorn & Arwen except Luthien DUELS Sauron instead of sitting at home.
I found the whole thing really interesting but you need to be really into your history and Lord of the Rings to get it, explains all the weird elf and wizard shit from Lord of the Rings. The histories have some awesome moments like Fingolfin vs Morgoth. If you don't want to delve too deep try getting just Children of Hurin or Beren & Luthien in a seperate book.
Children of Hurin is fucking DARK, his kids get cursed by Morgoth and accidentally destroy every kingdom they touch and then eventually each other, all while Hurin watches with cursed sight. Beren & Luthien is probably more familiar as it's basically a similar story to Aragorn & Arwen except Luthien DUELS Sauron instead of sitting at home.
Palum
what Suineg set it to
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Isn't one of them like incest babies and they kill the child or something weird
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Chris
Potato del Grande
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At the end of Children of Hurin, Turin slays a dragon but instead of a traditional happy ending, it's revealed by the dying dragon that Turin's pregnant wife is actually his amnesiac long lost sister, so she jumps off a cliff because she is carrying an abomination then he falls on his sword.
Palum
what Suineg set it to
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‘Lord of the Rings’ Series Moving Forward at Amazon With Multi-Season Production Commitment
"The streamer is looking for a “Game of Thrones”-esque genre programming with broad international appeal."
Soap-opera in middle earth, meh.
"The streamer is looking for a “Game of Thrones”-esque genre programming with broad international appeal."
Soap-opera in middle earth, meh.
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Royal
Connoisseur of Exotic Pictures
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Yeah of they want something on the level of GoT they're gonna have to basically use the Middle Earth setting and make up something out of whole cloth in the GoT mold. Especially if they're setting the series in the immediate years before Fellowship. It sounds like this series has been greenlit by executives that don't understand either property.
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I wouldn't mind a LOTR series filled with sex, provided every scene was Evangeline Lily getting gangbanged.
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Drakain
Trakanon Raider
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Masakari
Which way, western man?
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Attog
Blackwing Lair Raider
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I've been reading The Hobbit to my son, who is five. He loves it but there are tons of words and phrases he doesn't know, so we go over each one so he learns the words. We recently read through the riddles in the dark chapter, where Gollum considers Bilbo and wonders if he is a "tasty morsel" which of course resulted in a lot of questions from a five year old.
Next day, I hear through the grapevine that my son is busted in kindergarten for chasing after his teacher, who is 27 and cute and has probably never even heard of The Hobbit, and he kept telling her "Miss Telaxo you are a tasty morsel!"
I'm not looking forward to our first parent teacher conferences where I have to try and explain to her that I'm not teaching my five year old how to sexually harass women, honestly it is from a fantasy novel about hobbits and dwarves.
Next day, I hear through the grapevine that my son is busted in kindergarten for chasing after his teacher, who is 27 and cute and has probably never even heard of The Hobbit, and he kept telling her "Miss Telaxo you are a tasty morsel!"
I'm not looking forward to our first parent teacher conferences where I have to try and explain to her that I'm not teaching my five year old how to sexually harass women, honestly it is from a fantasy novel about hobbits and dwarves.
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