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The Matrix reboot/remake
- Thread starter ohkcrlho
- Start date
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Guest, it's time once again for the massively important and exciting FoH Asshat Tournament!
Go here and give us your nominations!Who's been the biggest Asshat in the last year? Give us your worst ones!
spronk
FPS noob
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prologue
Neo is in the real world in a bar watching Trump on TV talk about how mexican illegal trannies are raping little girls in bathroom. Neo looks on in visible disgust while everyone else around him is cheering the President. Neo keeps saying "No, no, no I thought we freed ourselves from tyranny, whats going on???"
Trinity walks in, all roided out looking like John Cena in drag. She grabs Neo by the neck, sticks her tongue down his throat and tells him to follow the rabbit of indeterminate color and gender if he wants to find out the non-heteronormative truth about how misogynist, homophobic, transphobic, and xenophobic The Matrix is.
Neo wakes up in a pod, he was plugged into another Matrix. Neo realizes everything is his fault because he is a white male, and he kills himself because thats the only way for Trinity to be free. The rest of the movie is Trinity's journey into discovering that she is really a man, a heist movie to steal the millions of pounds of steroids she needs to maintain that Cena physique, and building a Zion free of white men, Jews, guns, meat eaters, and capitalists. She renames Zion to Mecca and implements transgender Sharia Law.
Neo is in the real world in a bar watching Trump on TV talk about how mexican illegal trannies are raping little girls in bathroom. Neo looks on in visible disgust while everyone else around him is cheering the President. Neo keeps saying "No, no, no I thought we freed ourselves from tyranny, whats going on???"
Trinity walks in, all roided out looking like John Cena in drag. She grabs Neo by the neck, sticks her tongue down his throat and tells him to follow the rabbit of indeterminate color and gender if he wants to find out the non-heteronormative truth about how misogynist, homophobic, transphobic, and xenophobic The Matrix is.
Neo wakes up in a pod, he was plugged into another Matrix. Neo realizes everything is his fault because he is a white male, and he kills himself because thats the only way for Trinity to be free. The rest of the movie is Trinity's journey into discovering that she is really a man, a heist movie to steal the millions of pounds of steroids she needs to maintain that Cena physique, and building a Zion free of white men, Jews, guns, meat eaters, and capitalists. She renames Zion to Mecca and implements transgender Sharia Law.
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jayrebb
Naxxramas 1.0 Raider
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I mean, this is probably bang on accurate. Post-transformation Lana Wachowski is doing the project and directing alone, so there is no balance.
There is going to be emphasis on Trinity's bodyweight and probably some long cuts of how dyke she is.
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I'm rewatching this. Wow, that an exceptional movie. I haven't seen this in probably a decade. Honestly haven't watched this since I cared about movies.
I remember watching this at my friends house in like 1999. We watched it, and it was so awesome we rewound the tape and watched it again immediately.
This movie absolutely holds up well to time. The cinematography is outstanding, still better than most things shot today. It's extremely well written, does a great job of exposition. Visual effects are great. Well enough acted. Trinity looked hot, not geriatric.
Tons of little details. Like the girl with white hair calls Neo "copper top" early on, a reference to how they are batteries, something you wouldn't catch on the first viewing. Another good little thing is when the gang gets setup by Cypher, Cypher throws his phone in the trashcan so the agents can track them. Later on Morpheus asks for a phone and holds his hand out to Cypher, Cypher fake digs in his pocket but Trinity gets her phone and Morpheus doesn't notice that Cypher betrayed them.
This movie is fucking good. It still looks and feels like it was made this year. I see no reason at all to reboot it.
I remember watching this at my friends house in like 1999. We watched it, and it was so awesome we rewound the tape and watched it again immediately.
This movie absolutely holds up well to time. The cinematography is outstanding, still better than most things shot today. It's extremely well written, does a great job of exposition. Visual effects are great. Well enough acted. Trinity looked hot, not geriatric.
Tons of little details. Like the girl with white hair calls Neo "copper top" early on, a reference to how they are batteries, something you wouldn't catch on the first viewing. Another good little thing is when the gang gets setup by Cypher, Cypher throws his phone in the trashcan so the agents can track them. Later on Morpheus asks for a phone and holds his hand out to Cypher, Cypher fake digs in his pocket but Trinity gets her phone and Morpheus doesn't notice that Cypher betrayed them.
This movie is fucking good. It still looks and feels like it was made this year. I see no reason at all to reboot it.
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Agree 100%. I caught an anniversary showing last year in a theater. The action, the score, the soundtrack were all exceptional. CGI not a distraction. I think a another theater was going to do one this year and I would have totally be in for it again.
Matrix: Reloaded, not so much. The highway set piece holds up but everything from the plot to the CGI to the god awful Zion rave / sex scene doesn't.
Matrix: Reloaded, not so much. The highway set piece holds up but everything from the plot to the CGI to the god awful Zion rave / sex scene doesn't.
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Kiroy
Marine Biologist
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a c i d.f l y
ಠ_ಠ
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a c i d.f l y
ಠ_ಠ
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a c i d.f l y
ಠ_ಠ
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Rezz
Mr. Poopybutthole
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I mean, if you want to have some mild anonymity, losing your iconic John Wick hair and beard is probably the first real step.
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Attog
Blackwing Lair Raider
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