I'm not gonna check it against your bulleted list of preferences, butg try Dark Souls. It yanked me forcefully and permanently from MMO addiction. Before Dark Souls and after EQ, I couldn't play anything that wasn't an mmo.
Don't let its reputed difficulty dissuade you - I'm not a fan of hard games, but the type of difficulty in Dark Souls makes for an utterly addictive experience. Its non-linearity - compared at least with non-western RPG's - often results in the familiar-to-mmo-players experience of venturing into to an area where you're clearly not supposed to be, but augments it with the possibility of either a) coming back later and more powerful or b) beating the fuck out of through pure skill.
The level of character customization exceeds that of any other game I've played, and any sensible build - and by sensible I mean one that has some thought channeled into it, no google minmaxing required - is viable. Grinding is fun as fuck, too, if you wanna do it, because all enemies have drop tables that include common and rare items in addition to the xp (souls) they drop.
Compound all that with the presence of imo the most haunting atmosphere in all of gaming and you get maybe the best game ever made. If graphics are an issue, start with Bloodborne, then try the PS4 edition of Dark Souls II, then go to Dark Souls. Demon's Souls is probably borderline unplayable to new players now, on account of terrible framerate and graphics, but it's also amazing.