Friends, Romans, you ugly pricks, lend me your ears.
My search for the holy grail of mice may be over! And it only costs 24 bucks!
I present the dun dun duuuuuun!
EUASOO Mouse Mice Z-7900!! Clearly named by mutha fuckers that don't speak English.
https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B01E04JLFQ/ref=oh_aui_detailpage_o04_s00?ie=UTF8&psc=1
Lets run thru all the shit that matters.
- 3K+ DPI? Check!
- At least 3 REACHABLE thumb buttons? Check!
- Index finger button near left click? Check!
- At least 5 profiles? Barely. But check!
- Omicron switches on all the buttons? Check!
- Weight adjustment? Check!
- Easy to use software with easy macro capability? Check Check!! That's two checks!
- Non slip gun metal grip, so you can grab that mutha fucker like Thor's hammer? Check!
- 1K polling? Check!
- Glides smooth as a baby ass over my mouse pad? Check!
- Pretty lights to get the panties dropped when bitches see my new mouse? Check!
- Didn't need to put lambs blood over my door to purchase? Check!
So as you can see...It pretty much fits the bill for everything I need. My ONLY gripe is that it isn't an RGB mouse. 5 colors for the 5 profiles. And the profile light stays blue no matter what. I will let THAT slide though.
The biggest thing is the grip. You can grip this fucka like bitches do my dick at the club. And just like my dick, it's begging to be gripped! No, really, it absolutely has the best texture of any mouse I have purchased. This should be the defacto paint jobs on all mice.
The 5 thumb buttons, three are EASILY reached. 1 is useless and one you need to adjust a bit, but reachable.
Software is easy as fuck to use. It has everything you want, and is user friendly.
I would have easily paid 75 bucks for this mouse. So I just bought two more. Just in case this company goes outta business.
Picture attached. As you can see even Reinhardt is admiring this beauty.
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I will honestly give this a 9/10.
More importantly it's...
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