Tiny Malicious Dinosaurs (Bird) Thread

... said:

oh man, no joke, i think normal every-day birds would tear us limb from limb if they could. we're lucky they arn't gigantic anymore. we're only saved by the fact that birds are smart enough to understand the long game and that suicide isn't worth it. plenty of sky and patience.

like no joke. being able to read a bird, you can see a profound shift in their posture and bodyshape when the fury comes and it comes fast. we joke at the notion that raptors or even rexes may be feathered, and that it would look retarded but birds use that shape change in their form to intimidate or prepare.

when he's relaxed his body fluffs up and rounds out, like a baby penguin. He generally lifts one foot and hides it in his tummy floof (to keep it warm and to give it a break). when he's nervous he kind of narrows up and looks around. angling his body at what concerns him and giving his wings a soft flap to signal i need to go look. his belly shakes when he's laughing in bird. It's all pretty adorable.

But when he's mad his body tenses up. He takes a wide stance and his wings separate from his body just so. His feathers fluff up, but they do not make him look round and adorable, they make him look menacing like a hawk. his head turns a little and one eye pins. the iris gets tiny, then big and back again. he's studying you. waiting. and if you get close enough, he will bite the shit out of you. he kind of likes me so i think after the first bite he calms down and just makes it hurt. he doesn't want to kill me, just teach me a lesson about making him angry.

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... said:

He mostly belly shakes when he's watching something he's really into, like people doing interesting things. some times TV but mostly if you are doing something interesting you'll look over and he'll be roundfluffy with his belly shivering. i guess his version of a cheer he'll make a loud noise that's like a cross be tween a whistle and a "woo". like "WEEEEEEEOOOOOOOOOH" and he'll give his wings a little pump and a a full body shiver. he'll do that some times if you bring him something he really enjoys, like popcorn or receipts he can shred and throw.

He also makes literally a human laughing as a sound in response to things he thinks humans laugh at (but he's not normally correct). Like when he watches jurrasic park (his favorate movie) when the guy gets bit off of the toilet he human laughs. he also makes explosion sounds when he sees gunfights in movies and then he'll do a full body fluff and a little belly laughing. Some times he laughs when human's scream in movies. I think he's just trying to participate and he thinks that's the social thing to do. when we're playing D&D in the basement and start laughing and carrying on, some times he laughs and makes human commotion sounds (like people do in the background of movies) to feel included i guess.

also if he likes a person (like one of my friends) who isn't over often comes to my house. if they admire him he'll perk up and actively floof up and shake his tummy. i'm not sure if he's amused or just expressing happiness to be friendly.

He gets pissed when he's told no, or if you do not pay attention to him after he acts out. My wife is really vulnerable to this. He knows that she hates when he throws seeds on the floor. so if she sits nearby and is playing on her tablet or watching TV and not admiring him, he'll say her name a few times, maybe tweet and point. when that doesn't work he throws seeds at her. and onto the floor, and lures the dog over (she hates to hear dogs eat from the floor). if she bitches one time about it to him. he does his happy cheer and starts doing it a lot. some times he screams "NO NO NO" while doing it. if the wife gets up to take his food bowl away he will twist his body into his angry stance and eyeballs her. she'll usually wait till he calms down before she continues.

The LAST time he bit me, i was doing something else and he wanted attention so he flew at me, and i had to catch him. i brought him to his stand and he didn't want to get off of my hand. so then i tried to push him UNDER the stand and then pull back so he had to get off of my arm and he didn't like that. he pinched me, and i yelled in adult man voice "NO" and his eyes turned into points and he started to chew on my arm. so i bucked my arm, effectively throwing him down the hall. he did his angry dance on the floor a few then lifted a foot expecting to get picked up, and he was done being angry now that he needed me.

I don't have any major injuries because i think like all birds, he's self-safety oriented. He can't REACH anything unless i put it near him. he really can't bite me unless i have him on my arm. when he's on my arm and he gets angry or scared he grips me tight. his talons dig in (hence the marks on my hand from the first pic). once he's gripped , and we're in motion he won't want to risk changing his grip on me to bite anything important. he'll lean in and give the muscle of my arm a good pinch, usually draws a tiny bit of blood. it feels like...it's harder than a person can pinch. it feels like getting your skin pinched by a pair of needle nose pliars that have a point. Frequently he'll be so angry that he lets go and re-bites over and over. by then i jerk my hand up and it makes him have to focus on hanging onto me so he stops trying to bite me.

I do not let him on my shoulder. he doesn't like to do it, and i don't want him near my eyes or ear. also he hates having fabric between my arm and so i doubt he wants to be on a shirted shoulder. I understand because if you asked me to stand on a moving log, i wouldn't want fabric loose over it.

One time i was holding him and a light came on or something while moving him into the cage, and he freaked out and bit me because he didn't have a good foothold on me and he pulled himself onto me more solidly. It wasn't aggression it was fear.

also they can't see worth a shit in the dark and if you spend a lot of time in a dark room holding him. some times he'll bite you lightly (like a human pinch) to let you know he still needs you to help him either get to his cage or turn a light on.

I've seen him crack thick nuts before so i don't know why i don't have deeper scars. Maybe skin just resists the pressure and his beak isn't razor sharp like his feet. maybe he goes easy on us since he doesn't need to kill us, just make us regret not obeying him. Birds pinch each other when they play so maybe we get the easy pinches and he would do big bites if he truely meant it.

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