Vicodin, Cigarettes, and My Fake Tits - from the diary of the Megan Fox of Ohio

Grand Inquisitor Kegkilla_sl said:

according to Ravvenn... The whole situation sounded pretty ridiculous and Zehn would be able to elaborate now without facing repercussions from Ravenn.

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Daezuel_sl said:

So about a month ago or so Blazin stopped by IRC and started telling us about getting caught texting a girl from the forums. He never told us who it was so looking back at the log it's pretty hilarious how many times Rav's name actually came up.

This is an edited log of that conversation but you're not really missing anything. (mostly just off-topic editing)

Spoiler

[13:43] <Blazin> My wife upgraded her phone to IOS6 and some how set up her imessages to receive my texts, hilarity at my expense then ensued

as a results of texts from someone from board
[13:43] <Blazin> im in deep doo doo now
[13:47] <Xianthe> oh do tell
[13:49] <Blazin> i want to share the whole thing just need other persons permission and she's kind of hard to get a hold of at the moment with my wife watching me like a hawk
[13:49] <Xianthe> haha

[13:50] <Uriel> Sexting Ravvenn for disability money?
[13:50] <Xianthe> Her? Must be a tranny or Ravvenn

[13:51] <@Sean> lol
[13:52] <Blazin> i cant out anybody and does it really matter who is was

[13:53] <@Sean> No but we just assume that there aren't really any females around
[13:53] <@Sean> besdies Ravvenn
[13:53] <@Sean> which leaves us with Trannies
[13:54] <Blazin> story probably be better if tranny
[13:54] <@Sean> Indeed

[13:54] <Blazin> i was so a deer caught in headlights
[13:54] <@Sean> Guaranteed to make the story 10x better and hilarity with wife 100x better
[13:54] <Xianthe> Need to post/tell story!
[13:54] <Blazin> my wife calls me and says "who the fuck is this"
[13:54] <Blazin> i just sat there quiet
[13:55] <Blazin> thinking I'm fucked
[13:55] <@Sean> hahah
[13:55] <Blazin> my wife then hung up on me
[13:55] <Blazin> and I called the other girl as fast as I could
[13:55] <@Sean> pro move
[13:55] <Blazin> and yelled "STOP TEXTING!!!"
[13:55] <Xianthe> haha
[13:56] <@Sean> god damn I fucking love technology
[13:56] <Blazin> i even thought of turning imessage off on other devices
[13:56] <Blazin> so it wasn't syncing
[13:56] <@Sean> Would it have been more apt to yell "STOP SEXTING!!!"?
[13:56] <Blazin> didn't plan for my wife accidently setting her phone to my email


[13:58] <Uriel> Is this gonna lead to a divorce?
[13:58] <Xianthe> or more drama

[13:58] <Xianthe> What does uncle Sean say about eVag
[14:00] <@Sean> Nothing good comes from e-vag


[14:01] <Uriel> This deserves a screenshots thread, complete with wife registering and cat fighting with mystery girl
[14:01] <@Sean> Just say no
[14:01] <Xianthe> Yea we need new drama
[14:01] <@Sean> On the other hand
[14:01] <@Sean> Please fuck up your life for my entertainment

[14:02] <Blazin> Yeah as much as the +nets would be fun not sure its worth a 17yr marriage with two kids
[14:04] <Blazin> never let a good looking girl into your life if you're married life can certainly get interesting quickly
[14:04] <Blazin> my wife had some funny ass lines though
[14:04] <Blazin> telling me "the stupid cunt just wants your money!"

[14:05] <Xianthe> Hey, tranny ops are expensive
[14:06] <@Sean> super expensive
[14:06] <Blazin> I'm going to tell my wife she was a tranny
[14:06] <Blazin> to see what she says
[14:06] <Xianthe> So are implants if the hormones didn't get you good boobs
[14:06] <@Sean> hahah
[14:06] <Xianthe> Yea you can go crazy with it, link the expensive plastic surgeons
[14:07] <Blazin> I'll tell her I thought it was ok since all girls on the forum have always been trannies i thought i was just talking to a guy

[14:07] <@Sammiel> lol
[14:07] <@Sammiel> what a great story
[14:07] <@Sammiel> were you 'emotionally cheating'

[14:07] <@Sean> This is what you have to do -you have the make the lie as big as you possibly can
[14:07] <Uriel> You probably were talking to a guy
[14:07] <Blazin> honestly gav i think it was getting there
[14:07] <@Sean> tell her that you were getting into roleplaying with the guy to help him transition
[14:08] <@Sean> make the lie too big to fail
[14:08] <Xianthe> Yup
[14:08] <Xianthe> then get the plus nets that way
[14:09] <Blazin> fuck me i havent been that nervous ever
[14:10] <@Sean> Go ALL IN with the Tranny story, believe your own lie and you'll get away with it
[14:10] <Uriel> Let her catch you watching tranny porn
[14:10] <Blazin> it could spark my wifes interest in wanting to see more pics and backfire

[14:14] <@Daezuel> this story doesnt make sense without pics
[14:14] <Xianthe> OMFG too bad you were too scared and didnt take pix for our hilarity


[14:14] <@Sammiel> well
[14:15] <@Sammiel> you probably need to come clean with your wife

[14:15] <Blazin> didnt think about the hilarity of it until my haert rate was back down below 100

[14:18] <Blazin> and I'm very much in love with my wife, she is really awesome
[14:18] <Blazin> well im not exactly new to marriage
[14:18] <Blazin> its a midlife crisis or something
[14:18] <@Sammiel> I imagine things would be fine if you had, at any point, said 'hey honey i made friends with some chick on the internet'
[14:18] <Blazin> I got married so young
[14:18] <@Sammiel> instead of her finding out like this
[14:18] <Blazin> well she did know
[14:18] <Blazin> and told me to stay away
[14:18] <@Sammiel> oh
[14:18] <Blazin> and i didnt listen

[14:25] <kaosu> Wait
[14:25] <kaosu> You didn't actually fuck anyone?
[14:25] <Blazin> well i feel like a loser sometimes about it
[14:25] <Blazin> no
[14:26] <kaosu> You can always go to the solution that one couple did
[14:26] <@Sammiel> but it didnt get there
[14:26] <Blazin> but she is geographically far enough it saved me was more just emotional at this pt as gav was saying
[14:26] <@Sammiel> well were you emotionally cheating or not
[14:27] <Blazin> well to the extent I never stopped loving my wife id say no and I'm not attached to this girl

[14:32] <Blazin> i appreciate you giving me such good advice but this could really ruin your board persona if this gets out
[14:32] <Xianthe> rofl Sam does this all the time
[14:32] <Blazin> you guys are makign me feel better
[14:32] <Blazin> not about what happened
[14:32] <Blazin> but that there is better way to deal with this shit
[14:32] <@Sammiel> yeah one of the benefits of being profoundly mentally ill is that you know pretty much every good way to deal with things

[14:33] <kaosu> Though most mentally ill people choose usually the opposite of the good way
[14:33] <Xianthe> I prefer to think of it as 'experienced'
[14:34] <Blazin> i just have never felt this way before and I fucked up getting close to this girl and now have to bite the bullet and stop it because my means more to me
[14:34] <Blazin> a lot more

[14:34] <@Sammiel> hey just because I don't follow my own advice doesn't mean it isn't good advice

[14:34] <kaosu> Haha
[14:34] <Xianthe> kek
[14:34] <Uriel> Start thinking of how you can apologize to your wife, maybe offer to go to marriage counseling, or a vacation

[14:41] <Blazin> just will make me self conscience with her being on the forum, like hey girl i just stopped talking to, thats my own doing I guess though
[14:42] <@Sammiel> thems the breaks
[14:42] <@Sammiel> i could console her for you if you want

[14:43] <Blazin> yeah she should have no issue finding more fish if she wants them
[14:43] <@Sammiel> ...
[14:43] <@Sammiel> i just gave you solid marital advice and you cant even throw me a bone?
[14:43] <@Sammiel> FUCK YOU BUDDY
[14:43] <Blazin> she doesnt trust most of you however
[14:44] <@Sammiel> im one of the most trustworthy guys on the forum
[14:44] <@Sammiel> im nothing if not consistent
[14:44] <Blazin> ill tell her I'm cool with story coming out if she chooses its up to her
[14:45] <@Sammiel> aw man i wanted to be the heterosexual gay best friend of yet another chick
[14:46] <@Sammiel> yeah, htere is something even worse than the friend zone
[14:46] <@Sammiel> its the heterosexual gay best friend
[14:48] <Blazin> seriously gav thanks for the talk have to go
[14:48] <@Sammiel> peace

[14:48] * Blazin ([email protected]/* <![CDATA[ */!function(t,e,r,n,c,a,p){try{t=document.currentScript||function(){for(t=document.getElementsByTagName('script'),e=t.length;e--if(t[e].getAttribute('data-cfhash'))return t[e]}();if(t&&(c=t.previousSibling{p=t.parentNode;if(a=c.getAttribute('data-cfemail'{for(e='',r='0x'+a.substr(0,2)|0,n=2;a.length-n;n+=2)e+='%'+('0'+('0x'+a.substr(n,2)^r).toString(16.slice(-2);p.replaceChild(document.createTextNode(decodeURIComponent(e,c)}p.removeChild(t)}}catch(u){}}()/* ]]> */) has left #swampdonkey
[14:49] <@Sammiel> I hope you guys were paying attention, cause it will be a life age before that happens again
[14:49] <@Sammiel> someone thanked me for talking to them

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Zodiac_sl said:

I'm like 99% sure I read Blazin's "texting some girl wife found out" story in the GWBYHT - come on, no one else remembers that?

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Famm_sl said:

What the hell did she even mean by that, "I'm not the Megan fucking Fox of Ohio anymore", or how ever it was worded? Am I missing some specific reference or is it just comparing herself looks-wise? I don't know if I get it.

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