Whats rustling your jimmies?

TrollfaceDeux · Sep 5, 2017

Hoss said:
That's what I was thinking when I first read it too. She's gunna blow 5k dudes.

Latest rustle. Last weekend we volunteered to take care of some horses that were displaced by all the flooding in south texas. When we got there, they told us the horses were all 'feral'. It was me, my wife and my other in law. M-I-L has been raising and training horses for over 40 years. My wife has been doing it for probably over 20 (I know they had horses since before she was a teenager). My horse experience is a week spent at a dude ranch. Not working the ranch, just on vacation there. I actually just tagged along with them because my wife loves horses so I wanted to learn a little bit. I went in knowing full well I was only barely qualified to muck the stalls, but willing to learn.

So the drill was that 1 person would walk the horse while the other 2 cleaned the stalls. First horse, the people who were there all the time had a hell of a time getting the halter on, but my mother in law went in and got it on in about 10 seconds once she figured out how this kind of halter worked. So she went walking, the horse tried to rear up and she stopped it when the lady in charge saw it and went apeshit. She declared no women were allowed to lead the horses around cause they were too dangerous. I mean, I can kind of understand not wanting a 70 year old lady to deal with unknown horses, but they all looked at me like I needed to go on the walks and I said "Fuck no. If those horses are too dangerous for the experienced hands, there's no way in hell I'm doing it!" A man's got to know his limitations, after all. So another dude who was about half my size walked the first one. I watched him. As little as I know about horses I knew he was doing it wrong. Honestly, he was so bad off that he didn't even know what he didn't know. The horses were going crazy on him, he was not controlling the head and was directly in front of the horse where the horse could bite him or run him over if it bolted. He also wan't smart enough to avoid walking behind the horses. I asked him how much experience he had with horses and he said he had dogs. He volunteered because he wanted to learn about horses. OK great, me too. That's why I'm cleaning the stalls with my mother in law because when she gets around horses, she just shits knowledge.

My wife and this dude switch off walking the horses since that is obviously all he really wants to do. In hindsight, I probably should have had my wife teach him how to walk them safely. Everytime I saw him out there, the horses were fighting him and trying to bolt. Everytime I looked at my wife out there doing it, the horse was under control. Fortunately he never got hurt while we were there, so whatever.

About 3 hours in after we'd done about 20 horses, my wife is leading a very young one back to his stall when a douchebag comes up behind the horse, slaps it on the ass and yells at it. It spooks the horse and my wife gets caught between the horse and fence and almost loses the horse. Then the douchebag says "SEE THAT'S WHY WOMEN SHOUDN'T BE LEADING THE HORSES"

Really motherfucker? No women because you're a dumbass? You need to work on your root cause analysis skills. What good would it have done if I'd had the fucking reigns? Would the horse have not been spooked because my dick was wrapped around it's neck? No, odds are if me or that other dude had had the reigns, you would have been chasing down a horse that got loose. The thing that rustled me the most is that I didn't see it. I only heard the shout, slap, and crash; no one would point out to me who had done it.

The best part is that my mother in law doesn't even think the horses were as feral as they claimed. She said she could tell by their backs that they weren't just out in the pasture running free all the time. They may not have been worked much, but they had been trained. Odds are they were just scared and cranky from being flooded and then moved hundreds of miles away and then having to put up with these assholes. The owner showed up towards the end and I saw how he acted with the horses. He was more like my wife and mother in law than the other assholes. He was gentle, cooed at them and coaxed them. He did not beat, scare, or drag them around.

Damn that was long but it feels good to get it off my chest.

Any tdlr

Voyce · Sep 5, 2017

Got carded for buying Kombucha from whole foods.

Didn't get carded a couple weeks ago at the same store.
Never got carded at Hannaford, or Fresh Market either....

I'm 29, but its idiocy...you would die of water poisoning before getting drunk from Kombucha.

I Tried to Get Drunk on Kombucha

It's my fault for buying the new trendy drink, like the millennial ass hole I am.

Sludig · Sep 6, 2017

I'd never heard of being carded for it.... it is foul from the times I've tried it. While nothing against it itself. (I am concerned all the acidity is bad for your mouth) I think it's one of those try hard hipster things. Like hey this thing is objectively awful, but I'm so hip for liking it. Have a cultured palate pleb! .../yawn

Morsakin · Sep 6, 2017

Houston traffic. My commute home, which generally takes me about 15 minutes for ~2-3 miles took me 85 goddamn minutes yesterday. I am going into work once more today just so that I can get my laptop and bring it back to my apartment.

Wantonsoup95 · Sep 6, 2017

Unloaded a nasty load of cotton at work today. Have bugs literally crawling in my ass

Hoss · Sep 6, 2017

That's hooker lingo of some sort. Right?

Wantonsoup95 · Sep 7, 2017

Hoss said:
That's hooker lingo of some sort. Right?

No, it was a semi load of cotton seed. Had tons of bugs in it.

Hoss · Sep 7, 2017

I can't be the only one who reads that and thinks it's sex worker related.

uncognito · Sep 8, 2017

/rant

I live in a smallish touristy town in Colorado, and a couple blocks from my house there are some great trails that go up and around a small mountain. I usually go hike/run about 3hours a day, 3-4 days a week.....

The problem is that the entire beautiful hillside is a massive homeless community. There are about 15 active camp sites and about 20-30 abandoned ones. all of the abandoned ones are just piles of trash(old cloths, sleeping bags, liqour bottles) and about 70% of the active camps are just piles of trash that grow more and more every day. Not a single person ever brings down any trash, just more accumulates.

Over the summer I have watched the problem get worse and worse every time I run through. I always stop and talk to all the people I see up there, and tell them to please clean up their shit. I'v told multiple people they can even use my dumpster if they want. I have brought up lots of trash bags for them, and brought down about 6 bags of trash myself.

But these useless fucks do not give a shit about cleaning up after themselves. What rustles me even more is that there are no local authorities who give a shit either. I have been to the local police station and the county sheriff to ask them to do something about it. Both did the jerk-off motion while telling me they would look into it. A lot of these camp sites are up very steep terrain and I assume there is 0 chance of any government employee being sent up there to clean this shit up and kick these fuckers out. The police could not even tell me who owns the land, and who exactly I should be complaining to.

I wish I had any writing skills at all so that I could send in a op-ed to the local paper, but I am mostly retarded so that would probably not work out.

/rustled

Sludig · Sep 8, 2017

uncognito said:
/rant

I live in a smallish touristy town in Colorado, and a couple blocks from my house there are some great trails that go up and around a small mountain. I usually go hike/run about 3hours a day, 3-4 days a week.....

The problem is that the entire beautiful hillside is a massive homeless community. There are about 15 active camp sites and about 20-30 abandoned ones. all of the abandoned ones are just piles of trash(old cloths, sleeping bags, liqour bottles) and about 70% of the active camps are just piles of trash that grow more and more every day. Not a single person ever brings down any trash, just more accumulates.

Over the summer I have watched the problem get worse and worse every time I run through. I always stop and talk to all the people I see up there, and tell them to please clean up their shit. I'v told multiple people they can even use my dumpster if they want. I have brought up lots of trash bags for them, and brought down about 6 bags of trash myself.

But these useless fucks do not give a shit about cleaning up after themselves. What rustles me even more is that there are no local authorities who give a shit either. I have been to the local police station and the county sheriff to ask them to do something about it. Both did the jerk-off motion while telling me they would look into it. A lot of these camp sites are up very steep terrain and I assume there is 0 chance of any government employee being sent up there to clean this shit up and kick these fuckers out. The police could not even tell me who owns the land, and who exactly I should be complaining to.

I wish I had any writing skills at all so that I could send in a op-ed to the local paper, but I am mostly retarded so that would probably not work out.

/rustled

The larimer county sheriff has railed on this problem. Not sure if you mean like Nederland or other front range vs more in the mountains like Buena Vista.

Welcome to what happens when multiple cities run homeless friendly programs and we legalize weed. Side effects. Hopefully as other states legalize they will spread back out some.

Given how remote it sounds sorta, may I suggest you take notes from watching new Bruce Willis deathwish. Or the 3 S's.

Hoss · Sep 8, 2017

uncognito said:
Both did the jerk-off motion while telling me they would look into it.

lol if this is real. Was it s slow jerk or a fast one?

uncognito said:
The police could not even tell me who owns the land, and who exactly I should be complaining to.

If you really want to know, contact a real estate agent and tell them you want to buy the property. Don't tell them anything else about the homeless people. Just, "I want to buy it, figure out who owns it and what it's worth."

Borzak · Sep 8, 2017

Little too old, too bad a health currently to find a new girlfriend.

After 20+ years of being friends, damn near married, live ins and what not, it's over.

"Life has gotten a lot more complicated lately"

"Well maybe it's payback for life being so easy for you"

That was pretty much the end of that. Guess I slept thru the easy part.

DrSpooge · Sep 8, 2017

Stopped at a gas station today to grab some beer, ended up parking a little too closely to an adjacent car. Was my fault, but there really was ample space between the cars. Fat tub of a woman waylays me on the way in saying, with a raised voice, shit like, "think you could have parked a little closer, buddy?" And I mean it wasn't a ludicrous question, because I DID park a little too close - I just didn't like the tone. But whatever - I apologized and re-parked the car. When I got back out she was STILL tearing into me.

At this point I turned on her. I reiterated my apology, reiterated the fact that I didn't notice how litte clearance I'd given her, then told her if she weighed 100 lbs less she probably wouldn't have noticed either.

Conversation successfully ended, but I forgot my fucking beer.

Rathar · Sep 9, 2017

Borzak said:
Little too old, too bad a health currently to find a new girlfriend.

After 20+ years of being friends, damn near married, live ins and what not, it's over.

"Life has gotten a lot more complicated lately"

"Well maybe it's payback for life being so easy for you"

That was pretty much the end of that. Guess I slept thru the easy part.

Nah Man. I understand being all Fuck It And The Universe at the moment but you've now got opportunity in front of you.
Live.

Borzak · Sep 9, 2017

Considering I can't drive now, walk further than the bathroom without losing my breath, and multiple times a day my heart rate spikes over 150. The get out and live is kind of on hold.

Borzak · Sep 9, 2017

DrSpooge said:
Stopped at a gas station today to grab some beer, ended up parking a little too closely to an adjacent car. Was my fault, but there really was ample space between the cars. Fat tub of a woman waylays me on the way in saying, with a raised voice, shit like, "think you could have parked a little closer, buddy?" And I mean it wasn't a ludicrous question, because I DID park a little too close - I just didn't like the tone. But whatever - I apologized and re-parked the car. When I got back out she was STILL tearing into me.

At this point I turned on her. I reiterated my apology, reiterated the fact that I didn't notice how litte clearance I'd given her, then told her if she weighed 100 lbs less she probably wouldn't have noticed either.

Conversation successfully ended, but I forgot my fucking beer.

I don't know but I rarely if ever park next to someone, anywhere. Several people have mentioned it to me over the years.

Voyce · Sep 9, 2017

Not a recent rustle, but you know those son's of bitches who interrupt the flow of traffic to wave you through when they have the right away? Now in some cases its reasonable if traffic is moving slowly, to let someone in or out.

That's not what I mean, I mean the lights green there's two-way traffic, you want to make a left but there's no green arrow, or it's not on. There's some guy in the other lane who straight up holds up traffic, to wave you through, and you've got to be like, "do I trust this random fucker?" Because if you do and all of the sudden he rams into you, guess who the police are going to assume is in the wrong? They think they're doing you a solid but, they're just fucking ignoring the right of way.

TrollfaceDeux · Sep 12, 2017

Popeyes usually have the best toilet paper and i decided to make it my business to shit here.

So i finished shitting and find this.

pharmakos · Sep 13, 2017

TrollfaceDeux said:
Popeyes usually have the best toilet paper and i decided to make it my business to shit here.

So i finished shitting and find this. View attachment 153407

if i were ever in this situation, i would look up the store's phone # on my cell phone and tell them to bring me another roll,

what did you do?

Hoss · Sep 13, 2017

pharmakos said:
if i were ever in this situation, i would look up the store's phone # on my cell phone and tell them to bring me another roll,

what did you do?

That's awesome. I never woulda thought of something like that. But then again, I'm smart enough to check the TP situation before I commence to shitting.

Whats rustling your jimmies?

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