Whats rustling your jimmies?

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Hoss

Hoss

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Big Phoenix said:
Used to hate them. Then I went to Iraq and they where basically one of the only fresh vegetables we could get. Now I love them.

Fuckers who randomly text/call you asking to buy your house. Who the fuck makes such a monumental life decision based upon a random text message? Yeah let me just sell my house to this random guy who certainly is not going to buy it for market value! Property values have gone 50-75% in the area since I bought so the flippers are relentless. These fuckers even call/text my brother because their databases have the wrong number sometimes.

I fuck with them non stop though. Guy called me last week asking if I wanted to sell to which I responded "Sorry I cant sell this house I use it to host my orgies". He didnt understand I was saying orgy so I had to say it 3 more times before he understood I was saying orgy. Once he realized that he just laughed and hung up.

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I get those too. But they have the wrong name. So I asked which property they were talking about and it wasn't mine. The thing is, I think they have my number with this woman's name because she gives my number out to people all over town. So I've fucking sold that house a dozen times. I like to negotiate with them though. I tell them to make an offer and to not lowball me because I know what I got. Then whatever they offer, I counter with $500k. (It's a $150k house on zillow).

When I don't have much time I accept their offer and set up a date for them to come look at it. Because fuck that bitch. This belongs in the tickled pickle thread for me though.
 
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a c i d.f l y

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From my HR profile... 🤔

20200828_112319.jpg


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Big Phoenix

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Gee I could only imagine why they want to know who is and isnt gay and who doesnt consider themselves a friend of the gays.
 
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Hoss

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a c i d.f l y said:
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What is it about this that rustles you?

I'm not sure why she transferred it to a smaller bucket. I think the cost of the extra concrete to fill the garbage can and replace it far outweighs the potential risk in trying to make that transfer. Plus, the new bucket is short enough that the snakes might escape when you pop the lid. I can only assume the bucket is headed for an incinerator and the garbage can won't fit.
 
a c i d.f l y

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I've killed and eaten my share of rattlesnake. Tastes like chicken with the consistency of fish. But the fucks still rustle me when I know they can still bite your ass long after you've cut its head off. Handling was poor. Also, that it was in a populated area. With a ton of baby fuckers.
 
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Lambourne said:
Is it even legal for them to collect this data? One of our MSM organizations got slapped with a fine for maintaining a race database of talking heads so they could select one by race. EU law prohibits you from logging race, sexual orientation etc in databases outside of some specific cases (medical etc)
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Far as I know in the US, Texas specifically, it's not illegal to collect this data, or ask, it's only illegal to discriminate based upon that information. Which is obviously wishy washy as fuck.

I'm also not required to answer or fill out these fields in my profile. But that could also be used against me, if I'm honest. "We see you filled out the rest of the form but neglected to complete it, are you a sexist racist homophobe republican?"
 
Hoss

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Brahma said:
LOL! They setting you up! Just say you're a transgender, Jewish, woman...ish, who identifies black. All covered bases, and promotions incoming! You're so brave.
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That's what I was thinking, but leave out jewish. It's still OK to discriminate against them unless you're in show business. They're going to weed out anyone not smart enough to label themselves as a protected class.
 
TBT-TheBigToe

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The amount I type and delete never to be posted. It's gotten to the point where I am no longer sure what I have actually said and what I have merely written and then deleted.
 
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Hoss

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fuck that bro you gotta just type and hit send emmidiately. Do't even proof read that hsit.
 
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Foler

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Rustled knowing I have to work in that god forsaken attic today
 
Foler

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TBT-TheBigToe said:
The amount I type and delete never to be posted. It's gotten to the point where I am no longer sure what I have actually said and what I have merely written and then deleted.
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Hoss said:
fuck that bro you gotta just type and hit send emmidiately. Do't even proof read that hsit.
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This. I always write down my thoughts immediately and posts them. It's worked out very well for me.
 
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A

a_skeleton_05

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TBT-TheBigToe said:
The amount I type and delete never to be posted. It's gotten to the point where I am no longer sure what I have actually said and what I have merely written and then deleted.
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Part of the reason I was never all that active on the forums over the years was that I'd delete the majority of the shit I was going to post. Now? POST REPLY, BITCHES!
 
Hoss

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The other day I was telling someone about the series "Sex sent me to the ER" and recounted the one I remembered best about the guy who kneeled in a bunch of needles and drove them up under his kneecap. Because he was sneaking some sex, he didn't notice. He was moving and worked all day like that before going to the ER. Now I can't get it out of my head and my knee hurts. It's like an ear worm only worse.
 
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Hoss

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I miss the old days of spell check where as long as what you write was a real word it fucking let it go. What we have now seems like it just decides "that can't be what you mean your vocabulary isn't that good". Fuck you spell check I like to use uncommon words.
 
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a c i d.f l y

a c i d.f l y

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WHY THE FUCK AM I SEEING AN "ARE YOU REGISTERED TO VOTE?" POP-UP IN FUCKING DISCORD?

FUCK. GO AWAY.
 
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