Whats rustling your jimmies?

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lurkingdirk

lurkingdirk

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Spike strips do seem like a pretty good option. And some video surveillance. Cops are all over that shit now, they don't have to prove anything. They can just hand out tickets.
 
Hoss

Hoss

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Pack the fenceposts with c4. They won't even think to question why the car blew up because of Hollywood.
 
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Aamry

Aamry

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Bandwagon said:
I live near the fire station / ambulance bay. No way they're going to want a speed bump here.
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You already fixed your mailbox, but the correct answer would have been cinder block mailbox, with a nice stucco facade.

Edit: Oh, or a small ramp, so any car that goes off the road will flip over.
 
fred sanford

fred sanford

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New fridge delivered last Monday. It's been freezing stuff in the fridge since day 1. Had to call service for a brand new appliance.
 
W

wellijustdontknow

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Pretty girl thread with no face, how can you tell if she's even pretty? Also, ugly girls in the PGT. I realize beauty is subjective, but some ugly faces show up regularly. Fuck that...
 
D

DrFukasaka

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I'm 50, fat and an alcoholic. I try to base my masturbation schedule around my girlfriends schedule and not touch my dick for a day or two before we fool around so that I can give her 100%. Problem is here lately her period has been all over the place and she thinks she's in early menopause and proceeded to get her period 10 days after her last one the day of a big planned trip with just myself and her forcing me to go 6 days without ejaculation! I return from the trip and proceed to beat off 5 times over the next 2 days then on day 3 my gf gets crazy horney and rides my dick for 2 days straight without making me cum and now she has a complex that she's not good enough now my jimmies are all rustled because I can't do the shit I could do 25 years ago!
 
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Izo

Izo

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DrFukasaka said:
I'm 50, fat and an alcoholic. I try to base my masturbation schedule around my girlfriends schedule and not touch my dick for a day or two before we fool around so that I can give her 100%. Problem is here lately her period has been all over the place and she thinks she's in early menopause and proceeded to get her period 10 days after her last one the day of a big planned trip with just myself and her forcing me to go 6 days without ejaculation! I return from the trip and proceed to beat off 5 times over the next 2 days then on day 3 my gf gets crazy horney and rides my dick for 2 days straight without making me cum and now she has a complex that she's not good enough now my jimmies are all rustled because I can't do the shit I could do 25 years ago!
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Hormone spiral. Fixes the bleeding shit. Go-go-gadget-gyno-visit.
 
Aamry

Aamry

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DrFukasaka said:
I'm 50, fat and an alcoholic. I try to base my masturbation schedule around my girlfriends schedule and not touch my dick for a day or two before we fool around so that I can give her 100%. Problem is here lately her period has been all over the place and she thinks she's in early menopause and proceeded to get her period 10 days after her last one the day of a big planned trip with just myself and her forcing me to go 6 days without ejaculation! I return from the trip and proceed to beat off 5 times over the next 2 days then on day 3 my gf gets crazy horney and rides my dick for 2 days straight without making me cum and now she has a complex that she's not good enough now my jimmies are all rustled because I can't do the shit I could do 25 years ago!
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Man up and fuck her in the shower.
 
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Hoss

Hoss

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DrFukasaka said:
rides my dick for 2 days straight without making me cum and now she has a complex that she's not good enough now
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You gotta tell her about the jerking off. Don't let it get to head like that. Expect her to start asking a lot more often about your dolphin flogging activities.
 
Sevens

Sevens

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So I go to my local Braum's Ice Cream store today to get a peanut butter malt,

"I would like a peanut butter malt"
"Im sorry sir but we cant make one"
"Oh, are you out of peanut butter?"
"No sir, there are people with nut allergies so we cant put peanut butter in the blender"

Are you fucking kidding me? Just because some weak gene fucktard has an allergy I cant get my favorite malt?
shit just designate one fucking blender as the NON PEANUT blender and give me my fucking malt.
Yeah I know...minor gripe but just irked me.
 
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RobXIII

RobXIII

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Sevens said:
So I go to my local Braum's Ice Cream store today to get a peanut butter malt,

"I would like a peanut butter malt"
"Im sorry sir but we cant make one"
"Oh, are you out of peanut butter?"
"No sir, there are people with nut allergies so we cant put peanut butter in the blender"

Are you fucking kidding me? Just because some weak gene fucktard has an allergy I cant get my favorite malt?
shit just designate one fucking blender as the NON PEANUT blender and give me my fucking malt.
Yeah I know...minor gripe but just irked me.
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Wat?!?! Now I'm rustled too. They make mine at Cold Stones with peanut butter cups no problem. But they're out of malt so often I have a better chance of getting ice cream in a McDonald's drive thru, where the machine is straight up broken 90% of the time (aka minimum wage junkies don't wanna hafta clean it!)
 
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Sevens

Sevens

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Damn I wish I had a Stone Cold around me...I live in a podunk hick town of around 5k...were lucky (or Unlucky) we have a Mcdonalds. Now I must say in Braums Defense they have the best ice cream I have ever had so even if I cant get a PB malt Im still walking out of there with a sugar overload.
 
Hoss

Hoss

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I found out today that a thing called a peanut butter malt exists.

Maximum over rustle.
 
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Conefed

Conefed

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a c i d.f l y said:
Ever Google, "Why is ______ such a piece of shit?" and gotten thousands of results. Today, that blank = Hulu.

Some brilliant ex Hulu tech wrote a report about how it's "not actually Hulu 50% of the time". DNS, cache, issues with the app itself, your internet, your wifi, your device... not Hulu's servers, nooo, couldn't be. Riiiiight.

Their streaming doesn't buffer, so even if you have gig internet with a 20 ping, it'll still pixelate often. Not to mention it doesn't actually start the stream, like, ever, on the first attempt to start an episode.

How did Netflix do this with issues only happening a couple times a year, and Hulu is perpetually garbage? Shit, even Disney+ has been a solid platform, albeit limited and with many missing features.

Also, fuck their stupid line over things like if they couldn't already be retarded enough.
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Hulu for me lags at the very beginning and doesn't like rewind/fast forward.

Disney Plus has almost been unwatchable. It crashes at start up. Mid way through several times. Usually give up and watch something else.
 
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Sludig

Sludig

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Colorado fires. One record breaking with 1 or two working on catching up. Months of bad air and visible falling ash.

The granby/grand lake fire has evacuated the towns and got word the mini mansion log house we got married at is gone.
 
RobXIII

RobXIII

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Sevens said:
Damn I wish I had a Stone Cold around me...I live in a podunk hick town of around 5k...were lucky (or Unlucky) we have a Mcdonalds. Now I must say in Braums Defense they have the best ice cream I have ever had so even if I cant get a PB malt Im still walking out of there with a sugar overload.
Click to expand...


As soon as I posted here last, I found this:

mcbroken An entire map of if your local McDs ice cream machine is 'broken' lol
 
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Hoss

Hoss

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Duckduckgo. For some reason this past week everytime I try to search something, it clears out the box and goes to the main page. If I didn't remember to copy paste the search first I have to type the shit back in again. What the fuck is up DDG, I want to like you, please stop sucking!
 
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