Whats rustling your jimmies?

  • Guest, it's time once again for the massively important and exciting FoH Asshat Tournament!



    Go here and give us your nominations!
    Who's been the biggest Asshat in the last year? Give us your worst ones!
Fucker

Fucker

Log Wizard
12,640
28,768
Aldarion said:
Yesterday we took the family to a wildlife park. I havent done much people watching in a while cause I'm a misathnrope. I did some people watching yesterday.

WTF, what happened to America in the last 10 years? I estimate less than 1/4 of the people I saw were healthy and phenotypically normal humans. This is generous; perhaps as low as 1/10. Almost everyone is fat. Not just overweight, but actually fat.

This is some twilight zone level shit. Walle was less jarring.

I used to carry around an extra 30 - 40 lbs. It felt fucking gross. The day to day experience of life is so much different when you're not carrying around a fat gut. It just feels better to walk, to sit, hell even eating feels better. I'm watching these people carrying around a hundred extra pounds and imagining what it must feel like to have 10 gallons of shit sloshing around your insides.

I wonder if this has ever happened before in human history. Probably not. Its hard to imagine what comes next after this.
Click to expand...
People are getting absolutely huge. Layers of flab dripping over other layers of flab. Young adults who can barely walk. People are eating a day's worth of calories in one sitting, and they do it 3x a day and have snacks and pop all day long.

Triple burgers with a side of cheese fries and mcnugget extras. Big coke with a sundae finisher. Go home and eat a bag of chips and down a few 2 liter bottles of coke. The only exercise they get is going to the front door to get Doordash. $10 Starbucks coffee flavored shakes loaded with HFCS syrup.

People don't know a normal portion size because they grew up without parents moderating their behavior.
 
Hoss

Hoss

Make America's Team Great Again
<Gold Donor>
27,237
15,373
Aldarion said:
than 1/4 of the people I saw were healthy and phenotypically normal humans.
Click to expand...

If less than 1/4th are what you think is normal, then you need a new definition of normal.
 
  • 1Picard
Reactions: 1 user
Aldarion

Aldarion

Egg Nazi
9,729
26,656
Well, to be fair I was a little more specific than that. But yes, I get it, there are obviously different meanings for the word normal. You could use it in a purely descriptive sense to mean the matermatical average, mode, or median. And I guess you could argue for technical correctness.

Obviously in the bigger and more important sense, man tits would never be normal even if 100% of males had them.
 
  • 1Worf
Reactions: 1 user
DickTrickle

DickTrickle

Definitely NOT Furor Planedefiler
13,407
15,568
If I saw this online somewhere I would have believed it was staged for a laugh. Nope... just a real life idiot here. I hope they were at least on drugs or something.

Screenshot_20230831_095238_Discord.png
 
  • 3Worf
Reactions: 2 users
Hoss

Hoss

Make America's Team Great Again
<Gold Donor>
27,237
15,373
She's gunna have to be a lot prettier than what I can see to be that dumb and not have a hard life.

I knew a girl in college who didn't know how to pump gas or drive an automatic transmission. She was cute enough to always get a guy to go with her to pump gas.
 
  • 1Like
Reactions: 1 user
Burren

Burren

Ahn'Qiraj Raider
4,361
5,888
Track car has a vacuum leak or a pinched gasket on the intake side (or some other bullshit that hasn’t been diagnosed yet) and stalls on decel or throwing in the clutch at low speeds. Even maneuvering around in first or reverse makes it stall half the time.
 
  • 1Tiresome
Reactions: 1 user
Koushirou

Koushirou

Log Wizard
<Gold Donor>
5,165
13,052
I don’t get people who don’t know how to pump gas. When my brother and I were kids, we’d always want to do the gas pumping so we could try and nail a perfect dollar amount on the ticker and throw shade at each other when we failed. Stupid, but we learned how to do that shit well before we needed to do it on our own. Friggin’ kids these days have no curiosity for “adult stuff” it seems, even driving.
 
  • 5Like
  • 1Solidarity
Reactions: 5 users
Hoss

Hoss

Make America's Team Great Again
<Gold Donor>
27,237
15,373
Koushirou said:
I don’t get people who don’t know how to pump gas. When my brother and I were kids, we’d always want to do the gas pumping so we could try and nail a perfect dollar amount on the ticker and throw shade at each other when we failed. Stupid, but we learned how to do that shit well before we needed to do it on our own. Friggin’ kids these days have no curiosity for “adult stuff” it seems, even driving.
Click to expand...

Same here. Though I always went for an even gallon amount. But technically kids aren't even supposed to be out while you're pumping gas. Their faces are too close to the nozzle and could get some splash. I didn't learn that until I worked at a gas station. I even had one kid get splashed in his eye and we had to use the eyewash station in the back. Fortunately that was part of my training.
 
Fogel

Fogel

Mr. Poopybutthole
13,141
52,057
Koushirou said:
I don’t get people who don’t know how to pump gas. When my brother and I were kids, we’d always want to do the gas pumping so we could try and nail a perfect dollar amount on the ticker and throw shade at each other when we failed. Stupid, but we learned how to do that shit well before we needed to do it on our own. Friggin’ kids these days have no curiosity for “adult stuff” it seems, even driving.
Click to expand...

It's mostly idiots from Jersey/Oregon. A normal idiot at least grows up around it most of their life, so they have time to observe and learn the hard way if need be. Now imagine an idiot who's never touched a pump for the first 30+ years of their life and you get the idea. I was born and raised in Jersey and didn't pump my first time until I was 40 and moved to Florida 3 years ago, and the hardest part was figuring out if I hit the grade button before or after I put my card in. Though when I did fly down to Florida for house hunting, I pulled into a Wawa on the way to the airport to fill up my rental. I sat in the car for 5 minutes wondering where the fuck the guy was to pump my gas before I finally realized I wasn't in Jersey.
 
Void

Void

BAU BAU
<Gold Donor>
9,813
11,732
I always assumed that people had kids specifically so they didn't have to get up and change the channel (before remotes), get their drinks/snacks, wash the car, mow the lawn, wash the dishes, take out the trash, and pump their own gas.

I wonder how many kids these days do even one of those things on a consistent basis.
 
Kithani

Kithani

Blackwing Lair Raider
1,252
1,577
Aldarion said:
Yesterday we took the family to a wildlife park. I havent done much people watching in a while cause I'm a misathnrope. I did some people watching yesterday.

WTF, what happened to America in the last 10 years? I estimate less than 1/4 of the people I saw were healthy and phenotypically normal humans. This is generous; perhaps as low as 1/10. Almost everyone is fat. Not just overweight, but actually fat.

This is some twilight zone level shit. Walle was less jarring.

I used to carry around an extra 30 - 40 lbs. It felt fucking gross. The day to day experience of life is so much different when you're not carrying around a fat gut. It just feels better to walk, to sit, hell even eating feels better. I'm watching these people carrying around a hundred extra pounds and imagining what it must feel like to have 10 gallons of shit sloshing around your insides.

I wonder if this has ever happened before in human history. Probably not. Its hard to imagine what comes next after this.
Click to expand...
Literally 75% of the shit in a grocery store is probably not really meant for human consumption.

Edit: including the fresh bake halloween cookies in the post right above this one lmao
 
  • 1Like
  • 1Worf
Reactions: 1 users
Sevens

Sevens

Log Wizard
5,799
18,586
Hoss said:
She's gunna have to be a lot prettier than what I can see to be that dumb and not have a hard life.

I knew a girl in college who didn't know how to pump gas or drive an automatic transmission. She was cute enough to always get a guy to go with her to pump gas.
Click to expand...
I hope that was a mistake on your part and you meant she couldn't drive a standard transmission...I mean not knowing how to drive an automatic would mean she just didn't know how to drive lol
 
Hoss

Hoss

Make America's Team Great Again
<Gold Donor>
27,237
15,373
Sevens said:
I hope that was a mistake on your part and you meant she couldn't drive a standard transmission...I mean not knowing how to drive an automatic would mean she just didn't know how to drive lol
Click to expand...

it was not. She drove a standard. She had to borrow an automatic once because her car was out of gas. 15 minutes later she got her friend out of class to ask where the clutch was.
 
Sevens

Sevens

Log Wizard
5,799
18,586
Hoss said:
it was not. She drove a standard. She had to borrow an automatic once because her car was out of gas. 15 minutes later she got her friend out of class to ask where the clutch was.
Click to expand...
Wow, I have never heard of someone that could drive a standard and NOT an automatic.




brooklyn-nine-nine-jake-peralta.gif
 
  • 2Worf
  • 1Solidarity
Reactions: 2 users
SeanDoe1z1

SeanDoe1z1

Avatar of War Slayer
7,283
18,789
Fogel said:
It's mostly idiots from Jersey/Oregon. A normal idiot at least grows up around it most of their life, so they have time to observe and learn the hard way if need be. Now imagine an idiot who's never touched a pump for the first 30+ years of their life and you get the idea. I was born and raised in Jersey and didn't pump my first time until I was 40 and moved to Florida 3 years ago, and the hardest part was figuring out if I hit the grade button before or after I put my card in. Though when I did fly down to Florida for house hunting, I pulled into a Wawa on the way to the airport to fill up my rental. I sat in the car for 5 minutes wondering where the fuck the guy was to pump my gas before I finally realized I wasn't in Jersey.
Click to expand...

i remember in my mid 20s I came back to Oregon after 5 years or so and just did the normal thing and started pumping my gas. Just standing there this guy runs out screaming how I can’t do that. My immediate reaction is thinking cellphone use + gas pump and I immediately hand waive him away and do the kind fuck off gesture.

Gets up in my face and I’m thinking this is about to get physical over this lunatic and I realize it’s an employee and he’s about to call the cops on me for pumping gas. It all clicks and I’m cant help but start laughing as I’m throwing out sorries. What a dumb rule.
 
  • 3Worf
  • 1Solidarity
Reactions: 3 users
You must log in or register to reply here.