<3
On a side note, you know what else gets the jimmies rustling?
Women who dislike facial hair to the point where they have to make snide remarks about it every time they see you. Bitch, the beard is not going anywhere and you need to accept that.
Whats rustling your jimmies?
- Thread starter Big Phoenix
- Start date
On a side note, you know what else gets the jimmies rustling?
Women who dislike facial hair to the point where they have to make snide remarks about it every time they see you. Bitch, the beard is not going anywhere and you need to accept that.
Fifey
Trakanon Raider
- 2,898
- 963
My work yelled at me for too much overtime last month so this month I've been strictly 8-5 and they are getting pissed that I'm not getting enough done.
Those are fad jumpers and probably will be Gluten free soon too, but it's also just as bad as people who say "Bro, how can you not eat bacon?" anytime I tell them that I don't eat meat.
What rustles my jimmies are fat people in spandex cycling gear, you should lose that sixty pounds before you worry about your drag.
Mr_Bungle
Recusant
- 2,020
- 8,702
Being salaried and not having a single day off in a month and bring that up with "management" and their response "We're going to need you to work this weekend too."
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Jimmy Fallon. Go home NBC, you're drunk.
Chickenpants
N00b
- 193
- 0
Phone Books.
Do you guys need a sign directing you to my trash can if you insist on delivering it to my doorstep? I have this thing called "the internet" if I need to find a place of business.
Do you guys need a sign directing you to my trash can if you insist on delivering it to my doorstep? I have this thing called "the internet" if I need to find a place of business.
Kreugen
Vyemm Raider
- 6,599
- 793
I like to make a count of how many times this lady at work brings up her "morning devotions", whatever that shit is. Some jesus shit I assume. It's amazing the places she can fit that one in.
Xequecal
Trump's Staff
- 11,559
- -2,388
Do you also have to deal with the automated system that calls you the next day, asks if you received the phone book, and then asks you to enter a number off the phone book to make sure you received it? Of course, since I threw it out yesterday, I don't have the number and the thing sets it up so they'll send me another one.
Adebisi
Clump of Cells
- 27,899
- 30,684
Mrs Adebisi not backing the Adebisimobile into the driveway. I can always tell when she was the last person to use the minivan.
Mrs Adebisi not dumping her tea bags out of her cup and letting them dry to the bottom of the mug so I have to scrape them out while doing dishes.
Mrs Adebisi leaving the washcloths in the sink instead of putting them out to dry.
I guess if these are my only issues with Mrs Adebisi, then we're doing pretty good
Mrs Adebisi not dumping her tea bags out of her cup and letting them dry to the bottom of the mug so I have to scrape them out while doing dishes.
Mrs Adebisi leaving the washcloths in the sink instead of putting them out to dry.
I guess if these are my only issues with Mrs Adebisi, then we're doing pretty good
Soygen
The Dirty Dozen For the Price of One
- 28,572
- 45,200
Great Ogre Dictator
Lord Nagafen Raider
- 196
- 262
Hoss
Make America's Team Great Again
- 28,224
- 18,067
If I may interject, I can help you with these problems.Mrs Adebisi not backing the Adebisimobile into the driveway. I can always tell when she was the last person to use the minivan.
Mrs Adebisi not dumping her tea bags out of her cup and letting them dry to the bottom of the mug so I have to scrape them out while doing dishes.
Mrs Adebisi leaving the washcloths in the sink instead of putting them out to dry.
I guess if these are my only issues with Mrs Adebisi, then we're doing pretty good
1. Stop driving a minivan you queer.
2. Stop doing the dishes you menstruating queer.
3. Start putting the washcloths in her underwear drawer you castrated menstruating queer.
And I say all of that with love BTW.
On a tangentially related note, Jimmies get rustled over women who insist that the toilet seat be left down. Fuck you, if anything the seat needs to be left up after every use, because there's no reason when I go to take a piss, that I should have to bend over and move it. And BTW, I never do. If the seat is left down, then I just have a smaller hole to piss through. In response to this, my wife used to rustle my jimmies by leaving the lid down too. Didn't take long before I fixed that problem by removing the lid and throwing it in the garbage. I thought about drilling a 1 inch hole in the top, but that was too much work.
But the ultimate jimmy rustle is putting what I call "man-haters" on the toilet. I haven't seen one in a while, so maybe they are out of fashion, but they were the fuzzy coverings that went over the toilet lid and on the top of the tank. Together, they usually restricted the travel of the lid enough that the seat would not stay up on its own. Sometimes the lid wouldn't even stay up. So when an unsuspecting man comes into your bathroom to piss, a few seconds into it, the seat comes crashing down right on his dick, usually followed by the seat, just to slam the point home that there's a man hating bitch in the house. I laid waste to some fucking bathrooms in my day. If you have a contraption like that, I take it as an invitation to piss anywhere but in the toilet. And lemme tell you, when I'm getting drunk at your house, I can promise that does not mean I'm just gunna piss in the bath tub or sink.
- 17,184
- 8,195
There's a couple practical reasons to keep the lid down:
If you have pets, there's a chance they'll try to drink out of the toilet bowl.
If you don't always flush after taking a piss, leaving the lid down is a good test as to when to flush. Stinky next time you go piss, flush it.
Arbitrary
Tranny Chaser
- 30,819
- 87,057
The house I live in is old and has a history of electrical problems so this spring I went and bought boxes of energy efficient fluorescent bulbs for the house. The new microwave was blowing breakers so I thought this would lower the strain and they'll contribute less to raising the temperature of the home and cost less to power and are replaced less frequently and all that happy horseshit. I had been using one in my room for a while and had replaced a couple other bulbs in the house with ones from that first box I bought.
Every electrical problem is now the fault of those bulbs. Bad socket with a history of being a bad socket? Those bulbs. The microwave that we absolutely know requires more juice than the breaker is rated for that is fucking shit up? Gotta be the bulbs. A different breaker needs to be replaced? THAT'S IT ALL THOSE BULBS ARE COMING OUT. My parents just absolutely do not believe they use less energy. My father regards them as new technology that our wiring cannot handle. All current and future problems are a result of these bulbs. All long standing problems are the result of these bulbs.
It drives me absolutely crazy.
Every electrical problem is now the fault of those bulbs. Bad socket with a history of being a bad socket? Those bulbs. The microwave that we absolutely know requires more juice than the breaker is rated for that is fucking shit up? Gotta be the bulbs. A different breaker needs to be replaced? THAT'S IT ALL THOSE BULBS ARE COMING OUT. My parents just absolutely do not believe they use less energy. My father regards them as new technology that our wiring cannot handle. All current and future problems are a result of these bulbs. All long standing problems are the result of these bulbs.
It drives me absolutely crazy.
Izo
Tranny Chaser
- 20,016
- 24,900
Rights on red will get you a fat ticket where I live - have to be a dedicated lane with green arrow for it to happen outside regular green light
